All Comments on 'Joel and Daughter-in-Law'

very boring and what is the deal babe and baby every other word? are you a girl or from the south?

Writing was kind of stiff and repetative . Not really bad just a bit boring.

"After fucking her pussy for a little longer, I then lifted one of her legs and turned her "

"After fucking her pussy for a while, I then turned her onto her belly "

The two paragraphs that started with these lines were only separated by a two line paragraph. I didn't look to see if this was a first effort or not, think you had a good premise just needed tuning up.

With great difficulty... I did make it halfway through your story before my brain started to melt. Fortunately I realized what was happening to myself and stopped reading before any permanent brain damage could occur. Thanks for the headache.

BTW... what language was your story written in?

Dude...You need an editor.