Jon Starting Over Ch. 04

As Jasper continued to watch an oblivious Jon, and felt the dawning realisation that he had more than just a physical attraction for the blonde in front of him. He watched as Jonathan hung his head, an anguished expression crossing his face; without thought he the green eyed doctor walked forward and enfolded the smaller man in his arms.

"Hey," Jasper whispered in Jon's ear "its OK."

"Is it?" Jon felt himself reply, with more than a little strain in his voice.

Jasper tightened his arms around the smaller man in comfort. "Nothing needs to change Jon. There is nothing to stress about. Nothing."

"That's just it, Jasper. Things ARE changing between us, we both feel it. I don't know... I just, Jasper..." Jon could feel tears coming unbidden to his eyes, why was this so hard?

"Shhh... Jon, relax. We'll take it slow. Think of before as a blip in time. We jumped too far ahead. Jon, come back to the now. We're good... OK?"

Jon allowed himself to fully relax into Jasper's arms, burying in face into the muscular chest in front of him, "OK."

"Good."

After a minute or so the kettle came the boil and clicked off, the couple reluctantly separated.

Jasper reached into the cupboard above then and retrieved the box of tea bags, passing them to Jon with a smile, "You do the tea, I'll do the food. Deal?"

Jonathan smiled back, "Deal."

When they settled at the table each with pile of syrupy pancakes and a heaped side of eggs and bacon, Jonathan laughed and pointed at their loaded plates, "Sugar, fat, salt and cholesterol. You'd think as doctors we'd know better."

Jasper sniggered. "Doctor Thornegate, we earned this! Anyway, these particular pancakes are more than the sum of their ingredients. Try them. Eat."

Jonathan took a mouthful and couldn't help exclaiming at the taste. "Oooh! Jasper! These are heavenly. So light and fluffy."

"As you're a connoisseur of pancakes, I'll take that as a very high compliment."

"Mmm. You should. Delicious." When he'd finished, Jon licked his lips. Jasper watched the action intently, not surprised to feel a mild tingling in his gut. He never thought he'd be jealous of a pancake. The green eyed man was enjoying his time alone with Jon... Just the two of them... and even though he could hear the girls in the distance, squealing and laughing, it didn't matter one bit. He was here, in his house, alone with Jonathan.

"More?" he offered, and watched as Jon eyed the last pancake left on the serving platter. "Go on."

"OK. You've talked me into it."

"Wasn't difficult." Jasper pricked the pancake with his fork and put it on Jon's plate, secretly pleased the attractive blonde liked his cooking. He served more bacon and eggs for himself.

"How did you make them again?"

"You were sitting right in front of me when I did it," Jasper pointed out.

"Yes, but I was distracted not only by your daughters but by your mother's inquisitive stare."

"She was staring?" Jasper was horrified and closed his eyes for a moment, shaking his head. "I'm so sorry, Jonathan."

The smaller man laughed. "Don't apologise. She was just surprised, I guess, that you'd bought a colleague home."

"It has nothing to do with you being a colleague, Jon, let me tell you that right now. It does however, have everything to do with you being a man."

"Oh. You don't bring your dates home for pancakes?" As he said the words, Jon realised they could be taken another way. "Er... I mean..."

Jasper laughed, watching the way a small flush of colour tinged Jon's cheeks. Lord, he was becoming more adorable, more addictive with each passing moment. "I know what you meant, and the answer is no. I haven't bought the FEW men I've dated home to have breakfast with me and my family. You're the first."

"But I'm not your date."

"No, but definitely the first man." He stood and cleared the plates, switching the kettle on again for another cuppa, knowing he needed to keep things light. "It's as you've said, though. We both know Sarah. We'll both be mixing socially, as well as working together at the hospital, so even though we may not have mixed those worlds in the past, they'll definitely be mixing in the future."

"So I take it from what your mother said that the girls have never met anyone you've dated?"

"Nope. They don't need short term acquaintances coming in and out of their lives. Way too confusing for them and far too many questions for me to answer."

"Ah, now we come to the real crux of the matter. You're scared of your girls.

"Scared of the way they'd question me to death? Yes, absolutely. I doubt an ASIO agent could withstand them."

Jonathan made a sound decidedly like a giggle, a sound Jasper found endearing. "I take it you don't classify me as a short term acquaintance?"

Jasper thought about the question for a moment, "No. Your work contract is for the next two years at least, but you're now in your dream job. I doubt you'll be giving it up after that. Add all that to the fact that you already know the girls, which makes you a very low risk friend. We also... Er... Yes, well, like I said. A low risk friend."

Jonathan decided to ignore Jasper's slip-up, not ready to face what the handsome man almost said.

"Low risk?"

"Low risk of hurting them." And me, he added silently. Inviting Jonathan home had been done on a whim and he wasn't the type of man to give in to whims, especially where the girls were concerned. He might even tell himself that he'd only done it so he could help Jonathan see the see the house down the street, as he would have done for any colleague, but deep down he wanted to see how Jon looked in his world. And, Jasper had to admit, he looked pretty darn good.

Their eyes met and held, both of them content to simply be there for the moment and connect. Jonathan wasn't at all sure how this happened but it was as though he could feel whatever Jasper was thinking about. It was a connection on a level he'd not really encountered before, not even with Arturo. It one way he was delighted to be experiencing something new, but on the other hand it terrified him. He wasn't good at taking steps outside his comfort zone.

Still, Jasper looked at him, the colour of his eyes deepening in an appreciation for the man in front of him. Jon could see it. He could see the attraction Jasper had spoken of the other night when they'd had dinner. Despite their feelings, they were at a standstill. Jonathan was too scared to take that first giant leap into a new relationship; and Jasper was too respectful of the Jon's feelings.

Their contemplative mood was broken the sound of escalating laugher and splashing from the bathroom, Jasper eased back, rolling his eyes. "Sounds like the water fight is starting again. Never a dull moment."

"Go and deal with them and I'll tidy the kitchen."

Jasper was about to refuse Jon's offer of help but decided against it. Nodding, he agreed. "OK, thanks." He headed off in the direction of the bathroom and Jonathan smiled as he heard Jasper questioning his daughters, wanting to know why the bathroom floor was covered with water. Not too much later, he laughed as one of the girls came streaking past stark naked, with Jasper hot on her heels. He watched on with affection as the tall man scooped the little blonde girl up and carried her, wriggling and giggling, back to her bedroom.

Jonathan relaxed and made himself another cup of tea, pushing down the yearning he could feel beginning to rise. He'd wanted a life like this. A family of his own. He SHOULD have had one by now and if things had gone to plan, the children he and Art had planned to father would have been around seven years old by now. Jonathan shook his head. His life could have been very different.

"But you wouldn't have been head of unit at such a young age --- if you call thirty-eight young," he whispered softly to himself. Still, the words didn't seem to matter much when faced with what his alternative life would have been like.

By half past seven the girls were freshly washed and dressed, ready for the day ahead. Jasper had called Mr Attenburgh to make sure it was all right to come down and then announced to both girls they were going for a little walk.

"Is it all right to go this early?" Jonathan checked, as the girls went to get their coats as it was definitely a chilly July morning.

"Oh Mr Attenburgh goes for a walk at a quarter to six every morning. He's awake, alive, alert and enthusiastic."

"Good to hear."

"Lilly? Are you staying here with Grammy?" Jasper asked when she didn't come back with her coat. "You don't have to come, honey."

"I'll stay and look after Grammy." Lilly was already on the stairs. "Lola will look after you and Jon, Daddy."

"Good to see they're already looking out for their Dad," Jonathan remarked as the three of them headed outside into the crisp morning, he tucked his scarf more firmly into the top of his coat.

"Lilly is the nurturer. Lola is the adventurer," Jasper replied as Lola positioned herself between the two of them, slipping her hand into each of theirs and then asking for a swing.

"I love swings, Lilly doesn't," Lola added. "But I do. A LOT."

"What does she mean?" Jonathan asked.

"We count to three and then we lift her foreword and up into the air." Jasper counted and after three, up went Lola, gigging with glee. Again and again the two men did this, the little girl laughing each time.

"She doesn't get tired of it?"

"Nope. Do it to Lilly though, and she snaps your head off. Doesn't like the sensation that she's flying through the sky, our Lil."

"Have you ever gotten them confused?" Jonathan was still trying to search for a way he might be able to tell them apart.

"Nope. Believe it or not they look completely different to me."

"Perhaps you see them more as personalities, rather than focusing on their physical appearance."

"Hmmm. I've never thought of it like that before. You're probably right."

They continued to swing Lola, who was laughing brightly, in the crisp morning. Providing her own brand of sweet sunshine. It was enough to warm Jonathan's heart and as he glanced over at Jasper the yearning deep inside him to have this sort of life for his own, to have a partner and family of his own, was almost overwhelming.