All Comments on 'Josh & Kate'

Could be much better written...grammar was okay, but the lack of quotation marks makes it unbearable to read.

The storyline was fine but you should write from the man's point of view and let the girls tell their own story . Your grammer and short awkward sentences makes it difficult for the reader to keep focused on the story . Practice should make perfect however you've been writing for some time so you should stand back and read your own work .

lack of quotation marks is seriously aggravating. You should edit this story to include them and then resubmit.

This was really one of the better stories that I've read. I enjoyed the descriptions and the pace, but the lack of quotation marks, along with the lack of separation from one person's quotes to the other's was frustrating. There were also a few places where words were used twice, or not used at all, or used inappropriately ("for" instead of "from" in one instance). When you are quoting someone, you need to place quotation marks at the beginning of their speech and at the end of their speech, followed (in most cases) by some sort of qualifier as to who did the speaking (and, in some cases, their tone). If you place the qualifier in the middle, you should place quotation marks where the character's speech begins and ends. For instance, here is a way to quote someone in a story like yours. "Sis," he said in a loud whisper, "I think that I'm about to cum!" Also, when a different person speaks, their quote needs to be a separate paragraph. Unfortunately, Literotica doesn't let you separate paragraphs here in the comment section, but you can figure that one out by reading some of the other stories or by reading a few books with quoted characters, like romance novellas or other fiction. Don't get upset by our advice, but use it to better your writing style. Your content is already great!

the supposed lit crits wanting 'quotes'. That's their problem, not yours. Embedded dialogue has been standard in literature for a long time, and you do it well. Very easy to see who's saying what when there are only two characters.

Ignore them and continue writing as you choose to write.

I liked how the story was written. Quotes can be over used and people here seem to want them all the time. keep up the good work.

is English your first language? My guess is no, because anyone can tell you that it requires quotation marks when there is dialogue. I see there have already been some critics both for and against it, and those who have said it's ok not to have it should be reminded that while yes there have been instances where it's ok to not have quotation marks, every piece of literature written in short story or novel form has to have quotation marks for dialogue. When there are no quotation marks, there's nothing to distinguish to the reader what is narrator comment and what is character dialogue. Relearn your basic English grammar and then rewrite this. By the way I'm anonymous because I'm not a member on here.

The argument over quotes and grammar is moot. This story is painfully dull.

Wonderful story. Please continue with this story. I don't care about "quotes".

"is English your first language? My guess is no, because anyone can tell you that it requires quotation marks when there is dialogue. When there are no quotation marks, there's nothing to distinguish to the reader what is narrator comment and what is character dialogue. Relearn your basic English grammar and then rewrite this."

there is nothing wrong with not using quotation marks in dialog, at least when there are only 2 persons and their point of view is easy to distinguish.

if there exists such a "rule" for the english literature, it paints a rather bleak image of the reading skills of the native speakers, since in other languages it is perfectly normal to not use quotation marks, and we (me being not a native english speaker) are still able to keep track of who is talking.

"By the way I'm anonymous because I'm not a member on here."

same here ;)

all in all this was a good story, i didnt give it a 100 only because it doesnt hit my personal taste a 100% (a bit to short, to few descriptions and such), but thats just me.

so, dont take those quotation mark trolls to serious, just keep writing storys.

What is being said have to be quotes, these things - " ".

What is being said should start with a capital letter.

I gave up reading your story because of the errors in grammar. Sorry.

I agree with the other comment, it was annoying to have to read what they were saying all mixed together with everything else. It would have been a good story if the grammar was better.

awesome

I belive that this story was great. I was VERY easily able to distingish between the different charators. Well done and keep up the effort. Ignore the grammer nazi's... trols and keep up the writing. 5 out of 5 :)

Proper English mean anything to you? I could tell when they were talking and what was going on, but I gave up less than two minutes into the story. If you're going to be a writer, then write. Don't dream up storys and then just put it all together. You're story all together, sucked. I've been reading stories on Literotica for almost a year now. And your story, by far is the worse I've ever seen. Learn some English and common sense before continuing writing.

First, I'm going to have to agree with the grammar Nazis. Quotation marks would have helped, especially if you write other stories with more characters. That's advice, btw, not critique. I could follow it fine; just it might avoid annoying comments about grammar.

I personally enjoyed it immensely. I like the brief style of it, and also the authenticity of the characters. It's very Albert Camus. (I just compared an adult story to a classic. Wow...) But seriously, the brevity was quite nice.

If you'd like advice on how to improve, try less in your introductions and conclusions. Your style works in short images, rather than complex stories. If you cut out the rambling beginning and replaced it with a brief introduction about her mission and her feelings, and ended with a comment about how she wanted to ask her brother about it but was too ashamed, it would really heighten the overall feeling.

Fuck your critics & your gammar,

This is a good story & I am loking forward to many nore

wat a load of horses#@t that is f#@*ing sick doing ur own sister u sickos wats wronge with u now ill under stand if it ur missus or wat but ur sister get a f#!¤en life

And too the last commenter, Get out of the incest section dumbshit. Why are u even here. We don't give a good goddamn about your bitching so fuck off loser.

Learn to spell limp dick I could not understand a damn thing you had to say, of coures not that it matters because all you can do is be a cry baby. You really must either be a fucking fool or a 2 yr old little bitch who uses daddie's dick as a pacifier.

This is an excellent story, beautiful and tender, about a brother busting his kid sister's cherry and fucking her the way she wants and needs to be fucked by her big brother. Josh is a big strong boy, Kate a sweet loving girl, it's the most natural thing in the world for Josh to stick his big fat prick up his beloved sister's adorable little coochie, pound the shit out of it, and finally unload his brotherly balls up his sis's cute little twat. I only hope that Josh's fucked a baby up his sister's cunt, so that the both have a really nice little souvenir of their hot incestuous fuck.

To my mind this is a fiction site where the message is the key, not what I was taught in junior school.

If the author gets enough story across to serve my imagination then they have done a good job.

Lay off all you 'teachers'

A nice story, if kind of improbable. Siblings who have kept themselves apart until that age would require much more than some nudity to overcome the genetic DIStraction imposed by obeying society's rules until then. Four or five years earlier, when they were first feeling the hormonal pangs, would have been more likely, but this site's rules don't allow that, of course. Mentally take those years off, and the story makes more sense.

There are a lot of complaints about the lack of quotations, but, frankly, I didn't miss them. I never had trouble with who was speaking, or if the sentence was spoken or not. The writing always made that clear. Nice job.

Quotes and grammar issues aside, it was enjoyable. It did feel a bit rushed though.