All Comments on 'Journal of a Proper Young Lady'

It was real enough to take me back to the young lady's room with her on that afternoon in the 1800s. It seems that passion and erotica are constant and wonderful part of life that it always here now or then.

Was there more to the journal? If so, please continue to post even if it's not erotica.

it wasn't that good either. The weirdly random capitalization, although I know that you were just trying to be period, kind of wrecked the story.

I liked that you didn't use the word pussy though. It's rare to read a story where that word is not used.

A clever idea and well written

Good story- I have a block with "ye olde English" that causes pauses that are somewhat bothersome. However, it is kept well and I did not take points off for my own reading issues. Your username is similar to one used at a parenting forum I sometimes visit. I wonder if you are teh same Jen, or if it is just a coinidence?

It is hard to write in authentic Victorian English because we don't speak or write that way anymore.

The story concept and plot are good. You have set yourself on a good course but you need to study up on some Victorian Literature.

I suggest you read some Charles Dickens and study his language and the way he used his words. Then, when you write your next installment, you can speak in the language of the time.

(You ARE going to write another installment... Aren't you? ;)

I found this to be very convincing over all. I don't need it to sound like the "literature" of the period, necessarily, since the fictional author is presumably an amateur and this is from a diary, not a published work. Not that this absolves you from taking care with your work - just that writing in the personae of a diarist gives you a bit more leeway.

Looking forward to more. Thanks.

C.

You have done some very clever things here. I wonder how many people will notice them. This is a perfect example of why I try to visit every day. There are little gems every where and this is one.

I am coming up on my one year anniversary here and it has given me a reason to sit back and reflect a little. I know at the base of it all this is just a porn site but it can be so much more at times. There are stories released this week that have 10 times as many comments as this one and that is sad.

For those of you that frequent the feedback portal, do yourself a favor and read this one. When you have finished this one, email me and I will tell you about a story called The Obstinate Stain. When you have finished that one, email me again. There really is some very good writing here. Broaden your horizons and read those gems that are out there. Put the comic books down and pick up a novel.

Please.

While I don't write historic fiction I'm an ardent pursuer of it. The concept is good and I like the way you've written it, but there are lapses into modern vocabulary that spoiled this one for me. Yes please write more, but if you'd like some more authentic euphemisms I'd be happy to oblige.

P.s. I know this is being picky, and it wouldn't be noticeable to anyone unless they were a fan of the genre, but I'm commenting based on my own reading.

Yummy, exciting, highly erotic and just that little bit different. Much enjoyed. I look forward to reading more

Lovely and well written... and frigging awesome