All Comments on 'Journey to Mirage Ch. 01'

by sr71plt

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Anonymousover 10 years ago

Doesn't flow very well

The word 'though' is used far too much. To the point where it detracts from the overall flow of the story.

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sr71plt@sr71plt

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Former SR71 pilot, currently professional writer and book editor; writes under name "habu" on other erotica sites. My erotica books can be found under the author name habu or Dirk Hessian (and coauthored books with Sabb under the names Shabbu or Stephen Kessel) at S...

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