All Comments on 'June'

this was a long tale. you used some words that I never heard before. I think

this tale is out of place on this site. It was heavy in the style of writing from

England. you used a lot of words to make your ideal known. Ok tale, but

less words to make your point would be more fitting for this site.

Do not pay attention to naysayers. Yes it is very British, but that gave it character for those of us "across the pond" as the Brits say. Well written and I like that you did not rush things too much.

please ignore our across the pond readers it was a great story well told and in English like she is writ !

James UK

Yes this has a British tone to the writing but I would rather a well written story in a foreign style then rubbish in a misused unnatural forced style. Very enjoyable story.

I live "across the pond" from the "Brits", and I loved this story. Maybe it's because I was raised like a Brit, and I'm something fan Anglophile, not to mention an English major. Good writing is good writing, no matter where it's from. And this is good writing! Forget the idiosyncrasies of cultural voice...does this tell a believable story with people you care about? Then that's a 5 in my book! Kudos, Demure!

This is a tale written in Brits English. UK for sure. Einzelganger? A loner perhaps? Oh, boy, my spell check sure lit that up! Pro forma = Vehemently? Good read. Mary-Anne the match maker surely did her thing. I thought the romance a bit too quick. I'm an old fart and old fashioned as well. I expect one has to make it quick what with so little space and time. Cheers!

"Demure" certainly fits this style! Not flashy or overblown, just a gentle romance born from unpleasantness. Very well-written, and the perfect way to end an evening.

You are gifted

you really should write more

I am so glad that it grew to become something other than a short story.

Just stunning.

Home alone at the moment, perfect bed time reading. Xxxx

Thank you.

Deb

I too enjoyed the vernacular.

I'm another from across the pond from you. This, and your other stories I've read, do show from the diction (as well as the locations) that you're English, but I certainly don't mind. I like it just fine, when the writing is good, and we have plenty of bad writers over here.

(It can be confusing on occasion, I admit. If I hadn't encountered it before, I'd have wondered about going out into the garden to mow the grass. But you certainly should write in the language you use, unless you have a reason to do otherwise! (Over here the garden is flowers or vegetables, and the grass is in the yard.))

I'm assuming that the flan morphing into a quiche was an error, not a linguistic difference. And when they were interrupted, near the end, by Rachel, George's thinking that this means they're done for days or weeks mentions June, but I think you must have meant Joan.

My only real complaint is that it seems just a bit unlikely that the police would have been prepared to devote so many resources to June, so quickly. Good thing they did, though.

An excellent story! Thank you!

It is very interesting that the Americans think that they invented the English language. Maybe they should read more British novels rather than cheap American paperbacks to learn how to speak and spell properly like the use of the letter “u” in words, lol!

the middle of page four. Suddenly they’ve calling each other ‘baby’. That and how they talked during sex just seemed out of character.

However, anyone who plays oboe and listens to Dolly Parton can’t be all bad.

This reader enjoyed the story. If English originated in Britain why do the Brits find it necessary to say their work was written in British English. It seems like that is redundant. I guess I ought to go back and preface all of my work and say that they were written in American English.

If I have one criticism of the work, it is the unrelenting use of “He said” and “She said” when it was clearly evident of who the speaker is, he said. My comment is meant to be constructive rather than a cheap shot. I hope it is taken in the spirit that it is intended.

Hmm. Rereading after several years and not remembering the story. I found myself expecteng, a little, a jailbreak from the bad guys and a more dramatic (second) rescue.

Good story, BTW.