All Comments on 'Just a Jab Ch. 02'

This is a fun story. I imagine a platoon of women might relieve his condition, including his time at work. Fun read!

I'd bring in the family friends from chapter 1. Great read!

Definitely a problem that could become an easy harem maker. If nothing else, since he is producing extra sperm, he could be asked by many women that want a baby even. But...I think the lengthy introduction of all the other women that were already in the story will probably get first shot at him.

Interestingly different. I can see all sorts of possibilities, but based on the story so far, you probably have a surprise or two left for us.

So hard to take seriously that it reads more like science fiction than any kind of romance or erotica. Just too silly to really enjoy.

Life is full of shit, why should a story pile more on. Enjoy a few minutes of escape while you read this tale.

I'm trying to understand why so many people commenting on this series have such negative comments. This is a free site, someone has made the effort to write and create a story of fictional erotica. Can't people be decent enough to appreciate that? I guess the anonymity and lack of personal connection makes it easy for people's inner coward to emerge. Along with that, jealousy and stupidity. People, you have enough to rave and rant about in the real world where politicians and sundry assholes are making our real lives miserable. Have the decency to appreciate what you read here or shut up and get out.

Personally, I'm thankful for this story that is well-written. The character names are a hoot (Penny Farthing??) and I'm enjoying the set up of all those women that are now going to service John. Great stuff!

One think I would like to point out, is that talking to the reader "braking the fourth wall" really derails the story. Other than that it's a funny read.

Just think of this as constructive criticism. Your dialog is stilted and lifeless. Try thinking of real, living persons, people with moles and lost pennies in their couch, then THINK of how they feel - then write what they are feeling.

Thanks everyone for your good and for constructive comments. I agree as i stopped the 4th wall thingy after this, Did not like it much after reading back later either.

I hope I have improved the dialogue as I went in the further chapters, but would love to know if improved and any more tips on how to improve my writing is appreciated.

Lots more parts are in the pipeline after latest Ch08, so always needing to know how to get better.

I really love the scenario, there is so much that can be done with a story like this. However, you've somehow made it boring. Way (way!) too much detail that drags the pace to a grinding halt. And the dialog!? Who are these people? Half as substantial as shadows, these characters have no personality, no ... um, character.

Not to mention the sex. I mean, it's got to be a bad sign when the reader finds herself scanning ahead to find something more engaging than a guy with a huge dick boinking his wife.

I abandoned this story a long time ago but figured with all the high marks I might have been mistaken in my judgement. I'll give it another chapter but I'm not sanguine about the outcome.

Good story.