All Comments on 'Just a Peek: Love Out of Bounds'

For two people wanting each other so much, it was a shame that they couldn't enjoy the love that they had for each other the next morning.

Thanks for the read

A nice, slow build up. Enough mystery left, "I love you as more than a.." sister or mother? Had he found her with her date taking what was to be his? I look forward to many more chapters of your characters and having others join them.

Hummm.. Sort of a Young and the restless spice story it put the reader standing way back, even the story teller was so far back she (or he) could have caught cold from the draft from the doorway as readers left...

I never had a sister, but if I did, it probably would have been very much like this. Thank you.

yeah,wish it was more than a mother...

Will be waiting for the rest to come.

way to rushed you give no background as to what thier relationship was like before and why and how she left before and no end. this was like reading a three chapter book and skipping the first and last chapter. get a good editor and do a rewrite please and think before posting any more partial stories

DBRS

So close, I think they are twins.

When are you going to favor us with the next part of this story? Iam looking forward to see where you go from here.

Good work, with just enough mystery to tease. Ignore the anonymous naysayer- it's YOUR story, so tell it at your pace. Besides, anyone with an imagination can conjure up any number of scenarios. Looking forward to more. Thanks . . . .

This story was wrtitten more like an erotic novel than porn. I loved it.

Pulled me in right away. Classy and real. Yes, twins. I wanted to be her and I wanted a man just like him. Well done.

I'll admit I'm a little disappointed with the way this story is being voted on. However, I understand: "You can't win 'em all." With that said, I do appreciate the feedback whether good or bad. The fact you were moved enough to take the time to comment speaks volumes. I will never grow as a writer if I can't take criticism and really listen to what people are saying. <p> I will point out that this isn't really meant to be an ongoing tale. It was just a peek at a shared night. But who knows, I might continue it.</p><p> As always, thanks for reading! :-)</p>

Nicely written. Would be nice to see more . Thanks

The writing isn't the problem with this piece. It just doesn't fulfill the requirements for being a story. Instead, it's merely a scenario or anecdote. I'm sure many people will enjoy it, but it's missing too much to receive a high rating for storytelling. Anyway, I don't really know how many people are looking for literary merit; the majority of your audience will just appreciate it for what it is. Obviously, it takes a long time to become a good writer.

Stand-alone stories, well, stand alone. They are supposed to be complete within themselves. I agree with the commenter who said that this seemed to be the middle chapter of a three-chapter story. And, yeah, the ending was a bit disappointing. Too abrupt.

Nevertheless, it was splendidly written. Very moving and full of eroticism.

I like how the story is written, very discriptive. It does seem short like others have said, but then some stories are good that leave the ending and some of the relationship details to the imagination. On this site I was looking for more, but still liked it.

If she hasn't been taking the Before Fucking pill, she now has to hot foot it after the After Fucking pill. Once she gets the proper pills going, they can go back to enjoying each other.

but she will return when her hunger overwhelms her. It's one thing to deny something that is only a theory, an idea in your mind. It's quite another when that idea has taken on flesh, and has taken you to places you have never dreamt of before.

She will be back. Perhaps pregnant from this night. Perhaps not. But she will return.

Too many instructions..

And NO boy would be making any attempt to deny a girl like that.....