All Comments on 'Just Like in a Song'

This story seems very realistic. You are a very good writer. I love how you build up the tention and how you make sure the feelings and emotions are expressed and projected out clearly. This is one of the best stories i've read here so far. Well done 😇

Utterly breathtakimg , everything from then tension and the feelings and the love are perfectly weighted.

Your writing is good enough that you should be wanting to take it to the next level. I am offering you some minor criticisms, in a constructive way, because I have no major criticisms.

There were some mistakes that need to be fixed: den of iniquity (not inequity), pedaling down the street (not peddling). You can't be one-third Indian; you are either one-half or one-fourth. You don't have a settlement hearing; cases are settled out of court but hearings are held in court. Yes, these are minor criticisms. One mistake which was less trivial; Marcy had a daughter living with her but the daughter disappeared from the story after Marcy moved into her brother's apartment.

If you are content to be a good writer, you need not change anything. If you want to be an excellent writer, you should use an editor and pay a bit more attention to details.

Loved it. I would love to read how their future plays out. Hopefully happily ever after together as one.

brother-sister tales have never been my favorites. You have changed that. This is simply the sweetest, most poignant story I have ever read here. It was so well done, I felt myself tearing up at the same time the characters did, even the ones where they reminisced about their parents. Thank you for making the last 45 minutes of my life so well spent.

i hope they get an happily ever after with maybe a kid or two of their own. this is the cind of incest stories i come to literotica for during my mental illness / depression thingy i had last year to read the incest romantic stories that had love so powerfully written that i felt their love in my arms and hands. which is something i do with strong emotions my own or someone elses like when reading stories like this

no stupid 12" cocks with 45DDD chests, so silly trying to mimic the screams of excitement, just a lovely pure love story. Thank you for writing this.

You either need to learn the English language or simply read your own writing before you upload it. The amazing number of errors in grammar and spelling takes a lot of the reader's attention away from the story line. Perhaps an editor? Your story is very good, and I want to see more from you, but please work on the little things. They are important.

Absolutely wonderful, beautiful and gorgeous! The most FEELING story I've read on this site. 'Beautifully conveys the angst the nameless brother has carried for so long, and the confusion becoming a slow acceptance as Marcy discovers the feelings he has hidden. I can only hope that Marcy and her nameless brother/lover can have a full life together, if only in our imagination. There are little errors here and there, but most of them don't really matter, since they don't take away from the tale - except: what happened to Sandra? Her mom has gone to live with her brother, her father has run off with his skank, after changing the locks on the house, Belinda has her hubby - where is the poor daughter? MSTarot has always been too good a writer to leave such an important detail hanging. Please revise and clear that one up - and give Marcy's brother a name, so he becomes even more a person.

Clicked on it as soon as I read it was your name.

Omg. This was such a sweet, tender, story. Too bad you didn't care enough about it to present it properly. The incredible number of errors, misspellings, punctuation, gives the impression that you don't care. The story deserved better.

Sandra did not live with her mother.

I did not leave her out or forget her.Sandra was living at the dorm at the college she was attending.

She took early placement classes to to get away from high school drama and her sister's bullshit drama. Her complaint was that she was having to help her mother through what was going on, more drama, and was missing her classes. There can be no doubt that there were several long phone calls between her and her mother in the time span of this story but they were not something I needed to bring in to carry this tale. The focus is on the two main characters. Not Sandra, or Belinda.

And Sandra's favorite color is teal.

Every main stream book you have ever read has been through a huge process, and has been seen by at least a dozen eyes hunting for errors. Line editors, proof readers, beta readers and of course the author himself and the main editor in some cases.

Whole lot of people being paid a whole lot of money to make a story error free, and grammar perfect. And that money comes from the readers. You paid for that privileged perfection.

Now Literotica is a free to read site, and when you come on here and slam amateur Authors, that do not have that network of people, all you are doing is telling someone that they are not as good as those main stream authors when in fact some of the writers here on Lit are far better.

This site has spectacular talent that bends over backwards to cater to the wants, wishes, desires, fetishes, and kinks of tens of thousands, if not hundreds of thousands of people every day. For Free.

This story rolled in at 21,247 words. For that effort a paid author would ask at least $2.99 per copy as an e-book on Amazon. $5.99 as a paperback novel.

If you feel that because myself, or any of the other authors that post to Literotica, have somehow cheated you by allowing a misspelled word to creep into our stories. (Stories that we are give out for you to read for free)...then please go pay for the perfection you are so clearly requiring.

Or better yet write something and post here what "you" can do as an author. Lets see that "perfect" work you can do. Put your money where your mouth is, in other words.

To those that enjoy my stories thank you. thank you for your comments, good, bad, critical, and helpful in all ways. They are always appreciated as that is the only pay I get for my amateur wordsmithing. (and sorry for the rant, I have a terrible migraine headache. Storms coming in.)

MST

PLS!

really people if you are so worried about the spelling missed words or whatnot to even READ the story I never really leave comment but damn like MS said this is FREE you write it they read it READ the story/between the lines/innuendo/ whats in the unsaid whatever if is good great if not help make it or the writer better not let people rant but I kinda just did so whatever I liked it

This is a very nice and loving story. I have read stories where the spelling was so bad as to be illegible. This story was never at a point where little grammatical and punctuation errors took anything away from the story. There are many commercially printed articles and such with similar problems or worse. Obviously, others feel differently. In my opinion, I'd rather you spent more of your time writing stories than worrying about minor discrepancies in the "presentation" thereof. I'm sure I've made punctuation and grammatical errors in this reply. Yet, I believe my thoughts, as were yours in the story, are clear. Keep writing please.

Fine job. Great build, I liked it,

This story was beautifully written. Better than some I have read by mainstream writers. Do not ever let anyone put down your writing!! You have a gift my dear. Thank you so much for sharing with us.

of the story are wonderful. The tenderness expressed by the couple along with the raw emotions exposed by the circumstances clearly show the powerful undercurrent of passion they have. And the reluctance and caution with which they take each step is a nice touch of added realism.

The first time or two that a word was used in error, i.e. lose for loose, etc. it bothered me. Then I became a bit annoyed, having to go back and read it again to be sure of the intended meaning. But eventually I just took them in stride as they actually became quite humourous. A couple of them I thought might have been deliberate. The cheating husband getting the house (which is rare), then stripping all the cash from the accounts, so I thought it might actually be a den of inequity. She tells us she has put on some weight, and he likes his hand on her soft rounded hip, so she might be approaching amassment.

Thanks for the romantic drama, and the smiles.

Loved it! The errors did little to distract us and we agree with MST's response. It was given for free. Perfection is not even found in the paid books. Errors are frequently fixed in later editions.

Great writing. Would like to see another chapter. Thanks

God what a beautifull story...

This story was simply wonderful. The love and passion were palpable. Without doubt the best story I have read in a very long time. Please do not stop writing!

I think this story was one of the most beautiful stories I have ever read. It has everything that one who has ever been in love would appreciate and hope that you that criticize and Nit pick about the spelling of a bunch of jerks. You're going to criticize somebody think about many stories have you written none and how can you possibly criticize someone who has written a beautiful story.

I don't think anywhere in this story he said that he was a professional writer!

Well I'm an author on lit and I agree that the ridiculous number of errors in this story seriously detracts from it. Yep, I'm an incest writer and I choose to remain anonymous, because that option is available to me. I've never had a single complaint about my proofing, because I take the time to do it, simple as that. Yes, mistakes creep in. Nothing's ever perfect, and downloading to lit can be a b*tch sometimes. It's never perfect. Legitimate errors happen all the time. But that's far from what this was. I saw it as either total incompetence, if it was proofed, but more likely just not giving a crap.

It's not true that you need an army of proofers and readers. You need one set of eyes--either your own, after a little break, or a friend. That's it.

As an author on lit, you can always take the attitude of "It's a free site, you have no right to complain." But then why post here, and why leave voting and comments on? Clearly you WANT the feedback. I'd guess you weren't complaining about the score and the great comments, only the bad ones.

No, there is no financial reward on lit. But there is a currency, which is the love you get or don't get from readers. There is a different kind of relationship here. The gains/rewards are different than commercial venues, but they do exist. By all means, adopt the attitude that you're just deigning to post here, casting your pearls before swine. But I bet you don't think about that when you're letting yourself feel good about awards, votes, being on top lists, and favorites.

You're lucky to have lit. And seriously, where would your writing "career" and identity be without it? Hey, good luck in the e-market. Maybe you can cuddle up to those meagre dollars and cents when you're needing to feel a little validation.

One of the best build-ups ever on Lite. Ignore discouraging comments & don't stop writing. You have real talent.

Great story. I really appreciated the build up.

I couldn't take any more of this whiney little brother putting his needs above his deeply traumatized sisters. Love means putting the welfare of those that you love above your own selfish needs. He could have waited until sis was more emotionally stable and positive about her future and that of her children to express his desires. I was hoping that someone would punch this jerk in the face a few times. Oh, yah, getting his emotionally distraught sister shit faced drunk? I realized that was the writers tool in order to let it slip about his desires, but everyone knows that alcohol abuse never solved a single personal problem. I have read thousand of incest stories and non have annoyed me this much. I normally am a big fan of the authors work.

You bashers need to chill out. Yes it has its errors, but it was a great story. 8.2/10. Also, to the author, don't let these guys get you down. Good work!

You got a fantastic sense of humor as well as a good understanding of story development and pacing. That said find a good editor cause there are lots and lots of grammatical errors, many probably from spell check/autocomplete, which make it look a little sloppy.

It is ALL here...passion...sensuality...tears...lust...a deep meaningful love...THANKS!

As soon as I saw it, I clicked it, favourite author on the site. Was a good story but not as enjoyable as others such as "taking the place of" in my opinion. I personally feel the love making needed more intricate detail. 35 years of desire would make one passionate encounter.

Loved this from beginning to end. Well written, well structured, believable dialogue. I wish I had your talent as a writer. This will make me try much harder.

Thank you

The only thing missing was the fact you made her a 'non-dick sucking' woman. The love was heavy and full. He wanted all of her, she should want all of him.

Full of compassion and told with care.

I really enjoyed it.

Well done !

just wanted 2 say thank u 4 this beautifully written story, my heart ached 4 this man

this story was simply incredible, like so many other amazing stories you have written it feels like it could be a series and evolve into one of the most heartwarming tales i could ever have the privilege to read. if you ever post more work i cant wait to read it.

oh the jibes,"hinderberg tities, belly dancing elephant, watermelon theif" really got my goat. how to stop laughing was a major concern. have you seen bbc comedy in the 80's just good friends, the humour was eerily similar, its on youtube,

wow your story is just not incest, its much more, so much more. & people complaining about oral? guess they dont get it in real life, so they demand it be present in fiction to fuel their fantasy... ha ha just kidding they cant even imagine that.

Loved it.

No nonse involving sex like many incest stories.

Wonder why so low point.

It shld be atleast 4.8

My sister was divorced and I used to go to her house every day.To see how she was doing.And after awhile She said that she would love to have sex.I said with me.She said that she always had feelings for me.I said If you really want to because I feel the same way you do.Then I told her that I was seeing someone but we only have sex .She asked me who.I said you really wouldn't understand.She said tell me and I said that Im having sex with a man She said no your not.I said yes .I've been gay for along time.She said really .I said yes.She said you suck cock.I said ya.Do you let him fucl you.I told her ya She said you really love it I said yes and I always have .She said do you swallow his cum I said ya.She said is he black .I said yes She said I know who he is.She said that she still wants to have sex with me.So we went to her room and we had sex.I cum in her mouth and we both shared it.And cum in her pussy and ass them I licked all the cum outta both holes.She said that she would love to see me sucking off a black guy I said you would.She said yes.She thinks it will turn her on.I said ok .you want to suck his cock with me.She said that she would I said you would.She said that she probably let a black guy fuck her.I said you would.She said that she always thought about being fucked by a black guy.So a week later me and her sucked a black guy off together and She fucked a black guy too.When we both got back home .We went in her room and I licked her whole body clean So we been both having sex with each other and having sex with black guys.We both live together and sleep together.We been in love for ever.

S

This is a love story,not a sex story! The sex was just a symbol of her commitment to him and his lifelong dream. This is without doubt the best, most detailed, finest job of emotional storytelling I have ever read! "Wonderful" is just way too weak a description for it, If I had any small complaint, it would be that you should seriously consider getting someone to proofread your work. I know you must have spent many hours writing and rewriting this story, and it took a considerable amount of time to read it as well. You draw the reader subtly into it so that he feels invested in its outcome. When this is the case, it would be a shame if the reader were to think less of the story simply because of a few spelling and grammatical errors. Nonetheless, please keep writing and I will keep anticipating great things from you!

I LOVE this story. The best I have read on Literotica, and I'm not ashamed to say, as a 49 year old male, that it made me cry.

The plotting was excellent, and the dialogue spot on. I could see this as some indie, Jim Jarmuch movie.

At the time of my posting that story that was my best effort. I take a great deal of pride in my work. Paid or not, I always do the best I can. In fact, I quite possibly do twice the work of some other Literotica authors for whom grammar comes more easily. If that is not good enough for you Anon, dear Anon, I humbly ask you to go find another author to read, since my work is apparently not up to your normal "free" reading standards.

Also, something for you to ponder, that key above your shift key is the capslock. You need to learn its function. Thank you, MST

MSTarot

Firstly I would like to thank you that was a good story. I don't know about anon below but I felt that was an excellently written story. Honestly speaking, one of the best I've read on literotica. So again thanks and keep up the good work.

I am amazed that a person with your talent hasn't yet begun to explore the commercial side of the craft. Thank you for your hard work and excellent product, and thank you for sharing this great story with us.

A shame nothing was written about that tomorrow.

I found the icest in this story almost secondary to the lovingly crafted history & foundation you built for the man & wamon therein. But it was a Jim dandy vehicle for the brother to tote his 25+ year old unrequited love affair around in!

There is an old saw in academia that goes, "Those who can do & those who can't teach.". There should be another such saying pertaining to free self-publishing Web archives such as Lit: "Those who can write & those who can't critique"!

Yes, your story had a few flaws, but they were damn to few & far between to detract from any of the love & tenderness you created between the siblings it contained.

Being a straight male 58 year old WASP (with the heart of a slightly roasted marshmallow:), I have to tell you sir that the only other sibcest yarn on this archive that pulled at my heart strings as often as this one did was a story called "Colleen". And it was 3 or 4 times larger than "Just Like In A Song" is, if memory serves me correctly.

All The Best To You & Yours,

Cary

I have to agree wholeheartedly with Hoss..

Really enjoyed this - many thanks for sharing this with us.

Also agree with the comments made by hoss.

Looking forward to reading more of your work.

Why is this not higher? While there were certainly grammatical mistakes, they were few and far between, and like most good writers, slowly diminished throughout the piece. Amazing. I wish I could rate higher.

I am pretty hard to please, and you just did. There is no higher compliment I could give you.

One of the best I've ever read.

It's rare you come across such a story as this. Equal parts painful and lovely making a completely beautiful thing. Thank you for sharing this story.

This story was far from perfect in so many ways, but it moved me, and that is not something I take for granted. 5 stars, if only because of that.

How did everyone not ask the question I had from the first paragraph, what happened to the daughter - no school changes nothing

The oldest daughter is married. The youngest daughter is off at the local college. where she lives in the dorm to get away from her sister's drama thunderstorms (and to make it faster to get to her classes.)

She only came home to help her mother pack.

...finding time to answer silly qoustions from us readers. And the story is wonderful, as are many of your other stories. Thanks.

This is the second sibling incest story of yours that I have read and once again its a beautiful one. The brothers love for his sister spanned years and never died despite the pain of seeing her marry someone else.

This is what sibling incest stories should be. A real 'story' of love and devotion, and yes, some sex.

5 star....

read all your stories in this genre thank you for giving us all wonderful and moving works please keep up the good work

First, I loved this story just as I loved Heart Strings. You are a most talented writer. Thank you for sharing your talent with us.

Second, I was struck several times with the notion that this story could be dramatized. I can visualize it done in two acts. The first would be everything leading up to Marcy moving in with her brother. A second, shorter act would be the time they were living together in her brother's house. Scene shifts would be relatively few but easily demarcated. And as much of the work is already dialogue, writing a little more shouldn't be too much of a problem.

Finally, I very much liked the fact that this was first and foremost a love story and that the sex was almost incidental. Also, that its narration was restrained.

One of my favourite stories that i ever read without a question!

Thank you for writing this. If I could give it more stars than five, I would.

Whenever I hear the song Cheers darlin by Damien Rice I think of this story and vice versa. Thank you.

Head scratcher for me. Author what's with them being drunk on their asses half to time? Characters seem too fucking stupid to be walking around unsupervised. Sissy had more balls than WIMP Bro. NOT once did he take up for sister against her worthless husband. The story never finished...3 stars

Amazing story, I really enjoyed it!! A nice chane of pace from the normal, worn out tripe we see over and over! :)

...a few glitchy words or phrases here and there that needed editing, but nothing too distracting.

As to the previous poster, what did you expect her brother to do? Go beat up her ex? And that would help her how, exactly, in court when she was trying to take her loser ex to the cleaners?

"Your Honor, my client had to spend the night in the emergency room after his wife sent her brother over to assult him, breaking his jaw and nose and fracturing his eye socket"

Or worse, he goes over and the brother gets beaten up. Soo helpful!

That's why she has a lawyer, to clean his cheating ass out.

I particularly loved her having her ex's sister on speed dial, so she could call and tell her what a douche her brother has been! It's surprising how many people will side with the loveable ex-inlaw over their brother/sister/son/daughter. Hell I know several families that spend time with the divorced family member decades later!

He should have divorced her first, THEN got his dick wet if he wanted out so bad. Loser. Hell, it's like he wanted his wife to catch him, fucking another woman in his own house! Lol.

No, he did just what he should have done, been a shoulder to cry on, help offered, or forced on as necessary, heh. A sanity check and a keep her out of jail checkmate! ;)

Thanks for sharing your story with us!

Really enjoyed this story, from the conflict the brother had with his feelings for his sister and how he cared for her even though he was fighting his secret sexual attraction to her! What elevated this story was the humor especially the part in Walmart! Would love to read more of this!

This one of the sweetest romance ever written for a brother sister love story. Please provide a sequel with their bond lasting till they are in old age

It would have been better if brother had a degree worth a shit and made very good money so he could have helped Sis a LOT more. Instead he was a drunk pining away for lost love with a cheap job even thought using his worthless degree. Yep it was clear in your story Author he lover her, it was clear to me he didn't deserve her. There is zero conclusion. Roger was taking her to the cleaners with zero help from Bro. A great story line with a poor character in Bro and zero ending.

I don't know what story you were reading, but it certainly wasn't this one. (Also, your grammar is atrocious.)

"It would have been better if brother had a degree worth a shit and made very good money so he could have helped Sis a LOT more. Instead he was a drunk pining away for lost love with a cheap job even thought using his worthless degree."

Yes, the brother had turned down higher-paying jobs, but the jobs he had taken instead gave him more personal satisfaction AND paid enough to make him financially stable. There's nothing wrong with that. Yes, there were a couple of times in the story where he drank to excess, but I saw nothing to indicate that he did so consistently, so to call him "a drunk" is ... overstating the case, to put it politely.

"Roger was taking her to the cleaners with zero help from Bro."

That's simply not the case. Rodger was trying to screw her over financially, but her lawyer was taking all the proper steps to counter those efforts. And I really don't see how you can say the brother was "zero help" when he helped move everything she owned twice in a single week, took her into his own home when she needed a roof over her head, and provided as much emotional support as she could possibly need in an exceedingly difficult situation.

The only way your assertions are even remotely supported by the text of the story is if you consider only the financial aspects of the situation, and even then they're a stretch. Saying the brother doesn't deserve her is ludicrous, and there's a very clear conclusion: the brother and sister choose to enter a relationship with each other. This is a great story, and the brother gets exactly what he deserves: someone who truly appreciates his love and generosity.

when I reading , as if I heard a sad melody.

Six months lurking -- five of them as a member; read over three-hundred stories -- favourited almost a hundred of them... sometimes it was face-burning, sometimes it was heartwarming and sometimes it was both... but during all those times something felt amiss.... But to read something like this, if I had to do all of that again, I'd gladly do it a hundred times over... I never seem to get the right adjectives at the right time.... But this story doesn't need them, this story is the personified form of the best adjective there is. All I can just say would be a simple thank you, which while not being enough would be completely fulfilling all the same... Ash.

I loved this story. I just finished a different story, by a different author, who led me through an "just erotic enough" sib tale, only to ruin said story of a blooming romance by including some rather far fetched elements simply for the raunch. I found this story hoping for a palate cleanser, and found, instead, so much more.

You have an amazing talent, your 1st person narrative pounded the nail on its head...the correct amount of emotional tension to make incestuous desires not only plausible, but utterly heartbreakingly authentic. A mature, reasonable arc of the sister's incredulous reaction to her brother's drunken confession of his love, to her finally, in the proper amount of time, accepting and reciprocating his emotions.

I applaud the use of a more mature protagonist who has had decades of life to deal with, and finally accept how he feels as "it just is and that's it." His years of loving her and the waiting, to me, has the perfect emotional impact compared to two teenagers who realize, by accident, they "love" each other. Don't misunderstand me, those stories are wonderful in their own right, and I do completely enjoy them. This story, the way you tell it is a touchstone to a reality that is much more palatable, and earnest.

Thank you for sharing this!

Classy, not trashy. I can write a complete dissertation about how I loved it. Let's just say, wonderful tale that is much more realistic than most other stories here. We can't allow our self to get caught up in other peoples unhappiness. You have succeeded in writing a wonderful story. That's all you need to know.

Thanks for writing what I have to consider the truest example of a sibling relationship that I have read so far. The feeling of unrequited love and fear of rejection is how it really does feel for a sibling in love. Funny enough alcohol is usually how it comes out in the open.

A story about a couple of sot drunks? DUMPED

Damn that is one fine story. Needs 10 stars.

That was one hell of a story.

I just could not stop reading!

Once you set the hook, you never stopped reeling!

Excellent job, I enjoyed it emencly!

Quite good, very enjoyable...

Get an editor for spelling and usage.

... and continue to write!

He is her rebound. It's a recipe for disaster. I'm glad there's no sequel.

Despite a few errors, this was a fantastic story. The premise (older siblings) was right in my wheelhouse. Thanks for sharing...

Almost perfect. I just wish there was an epilogue of sorts that told us what happens a few years after. Are they together? Did she get her money from the divorce? I need to know where these two are!

A lovely story with a nice build up and ending. An epilogue would be nice, showing that they endured and had a wonderful few decades together, but I suppose we'll just have to use our imagination.