All Comments on 'Just One Hour Ch. 01'

Oh, Shit! Oh Shit! That was one hot story! Absolutely, positively, without a shadow of a doubt, YOU ARE one of the best damn writers on the site. This is great stuff. BRING MORE!!

yeah dude, real cool, just wish this would happen to my cock teaser wife too.

No one should be treated this way. Except a teasing slut.

Your story was great, having just read it I am now extremely horny and secretly wishing that I had been Debbie. Keep the stories coming.

Always great to give a cock-tease what she deserved. but the guy below had a point. She didn't really show how much of a bitch she really was. If she had it would have been an even better story. But a great one none the less.

You are a genius!! I have never had to go to the bathroom and cum after reading a story before! Please keep writing. Maybe your next one can be about a 25 yr old brunette teacher??

Brilliant story. This has really brought home to me the things my wife took part in many years ago. Why she was always so reluctant to go when ordered by her boyfriends, why she always did go, and why she always vowed never to go again. Can't wait to read the next episodes.

very good, more please

The story is fairly good, but the writing really needs corrections. Reread your own story and get the worst errors out. At some points they really hamper the flow of reading.

I have no idea if the writer is still penning here after so long but nonetheless I thought I’d share some observations about what was an interesting and worthwhile read. As others have said there are numerous grammatical and speaking mistakes that can be jarring to read, which is a shame. The following little critique will contain SPOILERS.

My actual suspicion here (and I may be wrong) is that this story was created by copy and paste of some kind of chat exchange between two parties, one of whom didn’t have English as their first language. There are sections where grammar and spelling are excellent, followed immediately by others with a slightly different narrative pace, poor grammar and spelling, followed again by other grammatically better sections. This, and the occasional slip into present tense makes me think this was two people role playing a fantasy and each taking a turn to advance the story, with one then copying and pasting the whole “chat” into one coherent story. Even the two “villains” of the piece are very different; one an Asian fetishist with a bondage dungeon, the other a “big black guy” gangsta. It’s as if two people’s differing fantasies are being combined.

The first paragraphs going to explain exactly who the girl was also makes me think this was a chat made into a story. The chatters either didn’t have a real figure in mind when chatting or had already touched on it when setting up the chat, so the author who posted it here had to add that explanation as a bolted on first paragraph. Tho again I could be wrong.

Overall tho I thought it was a good story. I personally could have done without the shower at the end and the enema play, and would have liked to have seen a lot more forced cumming from the snooty girl, as a means of breaking her down during the hour. Also a bit more “anticipation” during then cab ride would have been good as she realised she was being slowly driven the wrong way etc. Possibly some more early defiance and angry resistance from her at the start would have fitted with the “arrogant bitch used to getting her own way” character, maybe countered by a bout of CP followed by a forced cum to show her who was actually in charge.

I’ll read the next stories in the series and see where the author developed matters.

too slow to get to the end