All Comments on 'Just Relax Ch. 03'

over the first two. In fact, it is worse. Worse even than your other two submissions.

There are incomplete sentences which just stop and then another sentence starts in multiple places. There are phrases where the gender changes mid-sentence. Frankly, this is rough draft quality.

Takin the three chapters, as a whole, especially given the paragraph length of Ch 1, I would suggest you give this a thorough edit and re-write, then submit it as a single chapter story. With some work, (and taking into consideration other suggestions I sent privately), it could be quite good.

Keep at it...