All Comments on 'Just Say No'

Brilliant and amazingly hot. One of the best stories I've ever read on here.

It should not take six literotica pages and two or three in-universe weeks to clear up a cheesy miscommunication that even a sit-com would clear up in two minutes.

All the circumspect replacements of "habit" and so on were painful to read and took me out of the story.

That said, I like the premise, and apart from the sit-com trope being a major plot point it was very well written, and that's why I read to the end.

Please get a better hook for your next work, which I hope is soon.

Very good. Nice writing and an interesting plot - anyone that references Terry Pratchet is okay in my estimation. I really liked the unintended consequences or misunderstanding as that added a bit of flair that was life-like. Rather than pulling the reader out of the story, I thought it was a good hook that kept me reading. I saw right away that there was a misunderstanding, but I didn't know what it was and was always looking forward to seeing the revelation and resolution.

Overall, definitely two thumbs up. Book references were great and I'm looking forward to more of your stories.

Unlike many people that like to bitch and complain, I am 63 yrs old and have been a Leatherman for 30 of those years. I also at one time in my life was security for a Swingers Club here in Atlanta. Part of that was monitoring "The Sybian Room". So I am VERY well versed in the theme of this story.

Most women that spend any amount of time on a Sybian do have to be helped to stand and moved to a place for them to recuperate.

As for the smoking aspect, I truly hate to see a cigarette hanging out of a woman's mouth, so I could relate to the protagonists reaction when he assumed that Cassie was wanting to have a cigarette. So much so, I almost stopped reading because you had me believing it as well.

As for the BDSM aspect, when protagonist had his chat with Jared and all was revealed, it was easy to see where Cassie was in effect "topping from the bottom", by getting people to say "yes" even when they had no idea what they were saying yes to. The protagonist handled this very well seems to have effectively curtailed her ability to top from the bottom. Although the shower scene at the end shows us that she still is feisty, which is a trait that has it's place in a M/s relationship and many Masters and Mistresses enjoy in their slaves and submissives. I was happy to see where Cassie had in fact selected the protagonist based upon her observations, and that the protagonist took some time trying to evaluate the situation as it was unfolding. I think that is where whoever "Anon" is and made the comment about the sitcom doesn't understand the "mind games" and evaluations that go into an initial "get to know each other" phase.

Like I said, it was a good story

Very good story. Well thought out and written.

The Ambercrombie trilogy was terrific. Also his stand alone books in that world are great too. So many great, memorable characters Wish he would continue it.

Very good.

1. Thank you for taking your time to entertain us with your writing skills.

2. Your story was conclusive and entertaining. I feel the misunderstanding trope was kinda stretching the believability (sorta like a romcom) . Although I start wondering whether the main character was a high-functioning autistic.

3. You have great taste in literature.

4. Don't give up on finishing Morgan. It a really great story and you already set up the world and characters. It would be a waste if u abandoned it.

5. I hope this encourage you. XD

Thank you for sharing this emensly enjoyable tale. It was a sweet read.

The part where she is finally done being forced to orgasm over and over till she has lost all ability to comprehend what is going on around her; where she is trying to speak ... "Gu, muhm fuuuu..." reminded me of Chloe Camilla in a scene she did d for Kink. The one where she's mounted on a wall with a Sybian and her tormentors just crank it up and walk away. When it's turned off she's a quivering mess speaking in tongues! I loved it! Highly recommend watching it.

Good evening,

Just wanted to leave a quick word about how impressive your story was, and how scary close it is to my own fantasies. On a site with as many varieties of stories as there are colours of eyes, it's rare to read one that is exactly what you dream of.

Aside from hitting the nail on the head, the quality of the story was truly incredible, and while I think that the 'I won't let her smoke' was a touch long, it fit with the characters you had made, and lead to an incredible climax of the story. I'm sure woman like that are rare, but I hold out hope that I may tame one myself one day.

I'll be reading your other submissions now, and I hope you continue to post stories of this caliber for some time to come!

Your newest fan,

Cheers,

Dennis

I've never commented on a story on here before, probably never will again, but this story is the hottest thing I've ever read. Just thought you should know that you are a terrific writer, with a firm grasp of the human condition. Just wow.

This is the only story I've found on this site that managed to be hot, and actually have characters I cared about in a relationship I enjoyed seeing grow. This was clever, sexy, sweet and just fun. I would read sequels to this. I would read something by you that wasn't even erotica. This is the first story of yours I've read I'm going to have to go read your others asap if it's anything like this.

I would love to see this as a series

I play with this stuff in real life, and orgasm denial and forced orgasms are both something I love to practice. The combination I truly found hot in your story though is *choice* and submission. I find that most mind-control stories here are a form of rape ("I used my mental powers to date rape someone"), and that bothers me. Your story, on the other hand, is consensual: the woman clearly knows what she is asking for. I find the idea (and reality) of person being controlled actively wanting it and choosing it amazingly sexy.

Yes, I also enjoyed the humour. :)

Thank you for sharing your writing; I hadn't read your other work so I shall go off and do that. I look forward to more.

I truly enjoyed that. well written and a perfect subject to write about. thanks. D^

God help me. Too many Great stories to read, too little time

Well done! Incredibly arousing and a great story. I love Bob and Cassie as characters and the resolution was perfect.

5 stars. Bravo.

Usually I don't post comments under any story whatsoever but this time I just have to. Be it to salute you or thank you or to encourage you or all of it. This story was simply amazing. I only read it because I also read Morgan and was disappointed that it ended/took a turn away from the main storyline(which I came to liking after I reread it several times). I'm more than happy to hear Morgan will continue, so pumped for it in fact. Now that I know that take your time for creating another masterpiece in your dystopian paradise, I'll be there to read every last bit of it. Thank you and keep up your good work.

I had to throw in the 'sir' - since it fit in so well with this story. But it's also a reference to how a close friend of mine and I address each other. Anywho...this was a tremendous story and a wonderful stopgap while we all await the next chapter of your fantastic story Complementing Morgan.

Aside from the smoking hook, which was a bit overmuch, I thoroughly enjoyed this story. This hits very close to home for me in that I would love to be rendered unable to orgasm and I could totally see it being me shampooing again and acquiring an extra month. :)

Your choice in books is also quite good, I LOVE Pratchett!

I loved this story. It is the best story I have read. I intend to see what else there is by DistopianArtificer. Please write more like this.

Great dialogue, well paced, good characters with believable desires and needs. I didn't buy the smoking thing even at the onset as it seemed like an irrational leap, and the long description about why he hated smoking just underlined it for me. In terms of BDSM beyond the smoking hook, it was enjoyable. It was pretty unbelievable that the main character didn't display a prior interest towards domination and then revealed a hidden streak that circumstantially led exactly to what they both wanted from a relationship, particularly as the sub was quite experienced. But hey, it is fiction after all, and it was an enjoyable story.

My only critique was that it sounded like they enjoyed their routine for several weeks, not just one. A little confusing, but it didn't detract from the enjoyment value, so well done!

I enjoyed this immensely. I like to think he does eventually tell her about the smoking mix-up, also I imagine that her month long exclusivity is restarted whenever she makes any kind of request for orgasm not just her particularly worded trigger.

I thought the smoking hook was cute. I found it sweet and amusing rather than unrealistic.

As for the rest? It's incredibly sexy. That prolonged oral scene in particular. Deliciously Evil.

Not as intensely arousing for me as your other story, but a whole lot of fun. I think my favorite thing about it is how clearly you explain how the denial dynamic works. Very enjoyable, please keep writing!!

That was pretty amazing. Ive been reading my way through jukeboxEMCSA's stories & yours came up in the similar stories box & i thought why not. Glad i pressed the link as the story was so enthralling. I even liked that it was predictable to what her asking 'May I' was actually about. Cant say i kept reading for the erotic side, and thats not a bad thing at all! Im not really into s&m & only some elements of bdsm are of interest and that is generally control/reluctance but it was nice to read a story where the 2 characters are more than they seem and the development of this keeps me reading. Shall check out your other stuff.

As a dom who loves orgasm denial, edging, and hypnosis along with loving relationships, this story made me happy. Keep writing, you are very good at it!

I am not usually into this kind of thing, perhaps mostly because no one has ever written an exciting or mentally pleasing story about it. After all, expressing emotion about it is a difficult thing.

Or rather, it is difficult for most. You make it seem easy! I thoroughly enjoyed reading nearly every word of this story.

To make it short: Bravo.

I have read a lot of stories here and have not commented on any. This one deserves my praise. I loved every aspect. I appreciate that it was a complete storey rather than several parts. Please write another.

"That— that's very generous, sir. But please don't get hit by a bus. I love you." She paused, apprehensive. "You are planning an staying longer than a month, aren't you, sir?"

Paragraph on the last page. The 'an' should be a on.

This story was great, the characters were deep and had complex motivations and personalities, which made it all much more real and enjoyable to read.

I was half expecting near the end that, after realizing what was going on and what she had promised to do for him, he would actually reserve a CD that did have the commands for her to never orgasm again, to be used once they get married, as a sign of perpetual commitment.

But that's just me, the story was very enjoyable to read.

It's definitely a slow burn, but I like this story over your other one. I daresay the clear consent in the story had something to do with it...

And I'm totally in love with Cassie all over again - a smart, confident, aggressive woman who makes her consent clear but makes me take the actions to close the gap. Beautiful.

The protagonist is great, too: perfectly willing to take control, but also very explicit in making sure he has her consent.

The hope of meeting somebody that truly understands me is what keeps me going. Thank you for giving me a glimpse of what it could be like.

Wow... I have never seen a story that captures bdsm as a whole... Cassie is not only a sub but a brat, but also a pain slut. It also shows just how much the wrong type of person can affect your life, Jared was not the right dom for her, and ended up hindering her more than anything when he willingly hipnotized her like that, and then tried to make it to where she is denied what she had become accustome to which was asking for permission to cum and not being able to without it. And then you come along and change that. I have honestly never seen something like this on here. I'm so glad I didn't just skip over it. Please keep writing you have an amazing talent.

I don’t know what else I can say that hasn’t already been said. You put the “literature” in literotica. I am in awe, sir. Please never stop writing (but at your own pace!)

like Cassie, so many times I wanted to have an orgasm. But I felt the need to wait until she did. WOW and WOW and WOW!

You're giving all of us goals.

I still think the smoking misunderstanding was a little bit contrived (though I had assumed that she was just talking about masturbating in general), but after that, it's all beautiful.

And that bit in the end where she asks for permission, *knowing* not only that she's not going to get it but that it's going to lock her in to denial for another seven months... gods that was amazing. Really, really amazing. Consensual kink and mind control is very, very underrated.

I was very impressed by your understanding of hypnotism, most people think it's some kind of mind control thing where you can just take control of someone but, it looks like you must have read a book on the subject or something recuse you did great.

I'm sure that heading evokes some horrifying imagery - but there is one thing in this story that acts as its lynchpin. If the protagonist wasn't obscenely, stupidly, obnoxiously oblivious, the entire premise could well have fallen apart.

I've reread this a few times.

Yeah, the thick-headedness is an obvious plot device.

Yes, it's probably less realistic than some.

But I doubt that it was easy to write, even if you were in a sympathetic mood.

I mean, not everybody can act deliberately oblivious. But your character literally turns obviousness into an art form.

5 starrs.....if only I could find my own Cassie

Your dude is not an incredibly likable guy. It works in this story though. Grammar issues.

I am thoroughly impressed. I’ve read material on this site for years and this is the first one to actually interest me into the plot. It is also the first comment I’ve ever written. I don’t frequently remember the things I’ve read on here, but this I will remember. I’m seriously stunned. Thank you so much for that experience, the story was spot on. Cheesy at times, with how blind he has to be, but some of what’s revealed at the bar made my jaw drop. “She did WHAT hOW MUCH?”

I’m just still shocked I was invested in the story. Keep in mind, I am not a book worm, in fact I don’t often like reading. But this was phenomenal. Congratulations.

Both characters totally mad, great fun, solid writing, well done.

I now have to read your other works... I was wanting to read something simple and move on, but no this was just too damn enjoyable that I had to finish and now I can't move on before reading your other stories.

Only bit of criticism I tended to get hung up on the few times you used the incorrect word tense and what I have to think were simple typos... a quick edit by a second party would be highly recommended before publishing... (not saying that I'm any better and in fact far worse, but still these were the only issues that caused me to consider not giving your story 5 out of 5 stars, though in the end I had to round up and gave it 5 stars anyways...

I don't usually vote or leave feedback, but this story was well written, witty, and very, very hot.

I'm off to read your other stories now.

"Can you think of a time when you were reading a really good book, when you were completely immersed in what was happening? Afterwards you looked at the clock, and several hours had passed while you were reading and you didn't even realize it. That ever happen to you?"

"Sure."

Jared smiled. "Congratulations, you were in a trance, not a particularly deep trance, but still a trance. That's all it means to be hypnotized. You're focused on something else, and the real world fades away. The world is still there, you're still there, but your attention is elsewhere."

Me: "Hah! That's pretty freakin meta, considering by the definition here, I'm evidently in a trance. Clever, author. Verry clever."

Wow! How come you haven't written more? I would.love to see even a short addition to this story, maybe pick it up after, saaaay, six months?

Your story was not what I expected but it was soooo intense. I love it! I wasn't prepare for a mature story (compare to the very sexual ones I read for fun) but it was very very interesting and I love both characters. I need to read more of your stories ^^

I usually avoid mind-control stories, but this was amazingly believable, and utterly captivating. I've never felt I had to comment on a story before, but was compelled to this time. Thanks for writing this.

This piece itself is a hypnotic spell, I'd suffered thru all the tantalizing plots, waiting for the magic word to my "rescue".

Short version: Absolutely amazing stuff, real hot, very funny in places. Loved it the whole way.

Longer version: As you asked for feedback here we go!

Overall its a great piece, works really well. The only thing i can critique is just nit picking "editor style" things. At the end of the day. its a very good piece of writing that does everything it needs to really well. I was also super happy to see a BDSM story that is not agony porn, and dealt with the subculture in a healthy (?) way. Asking consent and communication(!). Even if it was ignored in the end most of the time, it was still presented. So A there. Same with the mind control/hypnosis part as well.

The characters were fun, and nuanced enough for such a piece of short fiction. Liked them a whole lot, really enjoyable. Their banter was fun as well, and sizzling hot.

I felt it was a bit too long, like it should have ended a few thousand words earlier, but as that was the original plan, it makes sense.

It is a bit longer than a regular short story. Which is the expected on this site as well. Know your medium, which in this case are both the written word and the site you upload to. Expectation is shorter stories with more chapters. This one might have been better off cut into two. Or at least a comment on the beginning saying "Hey this might be a bit longer than what you might expect".

Pretty much any other nit pick i have stems from the same issue. The story falls in between a short story and short novella. There are just enough space narrativly to introduce some more developed side characters other than the pair, but its just short enough that there is no space for it. They just get 1-5 sentences and dissapear into the night. Specially the phantom lawyer lady. It felt like you were building up to something there. Dropped her name a bunch, even set up a good tension point. Then left it unresolved. I would recommend either cutting extensivly in the midle, or padding the story with a bit more side charactrer action and pushing it into the 30k ish range. I felt like we didnt really get to know the MC too well, because of the limiting first point of view. We got to know a different side of Cassie due to the conflict with the hypnotist. But there wasnt the same depth with the MC. The interaction with the lawyer lady was never expended upon. Just a short "hey im jelous now" situation, that ended in sharing their feeling. We only learnt that he is resolute with his work and socially totally blind. Not really fun. Not much more layers there, cause we allready saw that before hand with his interractions with Cassie.

My last comment is purely personal, and is more of a problem with the genre than your writing really. Its the "purely-coincidental-misunderstanding-that-without-the-plot-would-fall-apart".The cigarette orgasm fiasco. It felt clumsy, and a contrived way to create some manner of tension where non was. I personnaly find it annoying beyond all beleif, even if its a main trope of the romance genre. *sigh*. In the end it didnt break the story, but it did give it a more comedic tilt, and made the male lead seem like a dufus. Which is fine, if that was your original intent.

There you go. Tried to make it constructive and not just a tally of "all the mistakes ever". Great job, and i'll be following your writing in the future for sure.

Just wow. This was amazing. Please give us an update for Morgan. Your literally one of my top three favourite on Lit.

An excellent story, well-built and with a good understanding of both BDSM and hypnotism. Btw. I totally saw it coming that it wasn't about the smoking. :D

I'll admit, I didn't come here for an entrancing story, but instead with the intention of getting myself off. That being said, I stayed because this was nothing less than the best work of erotic fiction I've read in my life. I can't say it was entirely what I expected or hoped for, but it was well worth the time it took to finish reading. Keep up the good work, and rest assured, I'll be back for more.

So first of all... I love a denial slut.

Second, although this has hypnosis, it doesn't feel like the other weird shit I've read. I really enjoyed!!

I will say, the smoking revaluation in the first chapter confused me. I was like "where the hell did that come from?" Other than that, I loved it!

This was an AWESOME story. Thank you for writing.

+2 for a nice style

+3 for Pratchett

-3 for writing the most dislikeable and idiotic MC on Literotica, which is saying something.

Wow just wow

Good job. Well done. Captivating.

Yawn...

I almost stopped reading this impressive story because of the smoking aspect. I was always brought up not to do such a disgusting habit! Especially since it hits home in ways through our family. I am bringing up my children not to do that smoking or other similar such drugs. My grandfather had a trachi. from cancer of the throat. My mother died of lung/breathing disorders due to excess smoking/drinking. My grandmother (even though she quit cold turkey decades before when evidence came out tobbaco caused cancer) had a masectomy. My father just died last week of lung cancer!!!

But I gave the story a chance and i am glad i did!

I thought it was odd that he jumped to the conclusion that it was tobacco she craved and needed permission for.

The way she asked, dressed, submitted to his corrections, had me thinking she was a kinky bitch, into BDSM, D/s, submission, masters, etc. so i was leaning more towards the denial and permission from someone other than herself (male)(i guess if kinky a possible female) to have the ability to cum. Denied orgasm of a female is really fun!

Most erotic stories you read about denial, edging is of a male these days.!

But i have had fun with a girlfriend to deni her orgasms for a whole day of teasing. Or even a week of being seperated from each other. I get to masturbate and cum all i want that week. But she does not. I get to tease her all i want. (like using the phone).

Anyway I am glad i read this exciting story.

Just reread this and damn, it's just as good as I remember.

that's _adorable_ holy shit

The author obviously tried to write a clever story and succeeded to a degree, but still failed in my opinion.

After the fact of choking Cassie multiple times the MC stated he wouldn't do anything to really hurt or permanently damage her. Well, what a piece of crap. Deniying someone to breathe until panic sets in, as the author described it, and even choking them longer on the next session is certainly not some easy stuff. The moment when fear for your life sets in that's certainly not a point in life anybody will enjoy. Also I've repeatedly been told throughout my life to avoid unconsciousness, because of the possible disastrous consequences. Of cause you can't help it if it happens in the aftermath of a trauma or as a result of an illness. But as a responsible adult you should never risk causing it just for fun, especially not to doing it someone else.

On the other hand the MC seems to think of himself as an intellectual. Ohh, but playing the "what or who is normal" card. The term 'normal' has obviously been fraught with meanings it originally doesn't entail. Normal does not mean 'vanilla' or 'plain' or something similar, it just means 'average'. So of cause there are normal people, normal relationships, but what that is has repeatedly morphed during the social evolution of humanity and will continue on doing so. What's normal today? I think the answer to that depends on how far and how close you are willing to look. As for the recent human population it is much more closely to traditions and biological laws than self declared liberals and LGBTXYΨΦ- activists either really believe or want to make everybody believe with the help of movies, tv- series, statements of politicians, artists and other "prominent people".

You might think I'm narrow minded, heck, perhaps I am, because that's another hell of a diffuse and therefore easily weaponised phrase. But the fact of the matter is I really don't give a hoot what people get off on as long as it is about consenting adults, not harming each other. I'm even romantic enough to wish for another condition, which is that nobody should feel obliged to agree to sexual acts because of any kind of dependency.

But as ironic as it seems to mention it on a website dedicated to erotic/ pornographic/literature, I do not believe it to be the most pressing problem of mankind to not only make everyone be aware of every shade of sexual identity, but to also embrace all of those variants, even if they feel alien and strange. People are harassed, humiliated and bullied for any number of reasons. But I refuse to let myself being talked into taking a special interest or feeling a deeper sympathy or sorrow for selected groups. Mass media are hyping up just a few of the dire situations different parts or groups of mankind find themselves in, while neglecting to whine and mourne about all the others. If I'd let my attention be directed this way, it would just make me a hypocritical, ignorant, magnanimous, self righteous and elitist neo colonialist.

So, following the author's logic Cassie is something special, because she is not normal, but at the same time he is stating through his MC that really nobody is normal. Yeah, I totally get that.

The whole misunderstanding idea killed the story for me. Like otherwise the writing is good but the premise was so flawed it was unreadable to me. Skipped to the reveal and then bailed.

I wish I could give this story more than five stars. You're a really good writer. I was really into both characters, and yes it was erotica but I was more interested in what was happening than getting off. The term "shit popsicle" literally had me burst out laughing. I liked them both, and as a person somewhat similar to Cassie, I understood where she was coming from. And I've also had that reaction. I remember the word "contradiction" being used as well as "too complicated." Also as a reader I loved that both of them were smart, bookish people. This was really really good.

Wow! Extraordinary and beautiful is how I would describe this story and the style it is written in. A way I have never described any erotic story I have read...and believe me, there were many.

This story has ended well, however I really do believe this story could...and should have a sequal. I really wonder about...and yearn to know what will happen next and how their relationship will grow.

Well done, and thank you for writing this Masterpiece. I will be reading your other stories now hoping they are of the same magnitude as this one.

Cassie clenched her fists. "Why do you have to be so mean? Do you have any idea what you're doing to me?"

"Yes," I said.

it's just so unusual that a literotica story stirs up my feelings but there's something about this one that does. I dislike the misunderstanding angle a bit, it's a bit too anime for me. it's all incredibly well written though. bravo. you make me want to find my Cassie.

One of the best i've read. I like the pacing and even though i don't like bdsm much, it is so erotic. i also liked their conversations. the best part for me is the ending though. the part where you show how perfect they are for each other. :)

I would love a followup story of him training her in those 7 months. Any possibility of that?

A very interesting, very well written and powerful story. I will admit I got a bit unsure about things when she was liking the idea of being denied forever, since I was quite certain this wasn't about smoking, and was 99% sure it was orgasm control, since that wasn't what I would call a happy thought. So I am glad to see that you didn't end up going down that road.

The characters are such well drawn people, "flaws" and all, that is what makes this work so well, I can and I do care about, believe in and want to know more about the characters. Something that often doesn't happen, sad to say, so it is always good when it does happen :)

Great Story Well Writen

A well written story with nicely developed characters.

Nice story, great read.

Actually took me a while to get the plot dynamics. Smokers bad, lol. Keep up the good work.

Great story! Character development was perfect. I have always argued that reading a story is so much better than watching one. The ability to place oneselve into the role is so much easier with the written word. Becoming the Dom with your words was so easy, and so enjoyable, Thank You

Doctor S. Orgasmo-scientist recriminate previous relationship and see he is like the spiritual inheritor of Marquis de Sade a Maestro extraordinnaire. Honestly i would find it beyond my capability (emotionaly) and means (I'm not certified in BDSM studies) to handle a relationship with a woman like her. Exploring/experimenting should be fine but here it's the defining factor of the relationship. It give the vibes that there is not much beneeth. But it's well portrayed and written sorry for blabing

Very enjoyable. Great story. Thank you for sharing this.

Excellent piece of work.

This is fantastic. Smoking hot, hit all the right buttons

Came for the submission, stayed for the Pratchett references.

Hypnotic suggestion? Very p-sychological

Really enjoyed this. How he figured out exactly what she needs

This is absolute perfection. Not only the style and deftness of your writing and dialogue, but the topic is perfect. The characters are the best versions of their roles that I can imagine. What I wouldn't give to

Wonderful story!!!!! I’d love to read more like this, but not the same over and over if you know what I mean.

Amazing!

Wow, Amazing work of art

Great read!

Just wondering if had read anything else by Abercrombie? And if you liked him, try John Scalzi.

great story, thank you :-)

Well written piece of erotica. I would love to meet sir.

Great story, well written both with plot and character development. Would love a sequel, something maybe 7 or 8 months later. If she was a hot mess after seven weeks, what is she going to be like at that length of time.

I enjoyed this. It had a misunderstanding that felt a bit like something in a sitcom, but in the end, the author definitely stuck the landing with some good character development and effective storytelling. Mind control and hypnosis were described more effectively and in a manner that was easier to digest. I appreciated this effort and I'm sorry that this author hadn't been more prolific here.