All Comments on 'Just What She Needed'

Discreet, you even used the right word for your handle. I'm sure you are discreet. Great story, sex and love make a winning team. But triplets? Pay that sperm donor a bonus! Your characters are much more real than the cardboard dykes unfortunately to be found in most of the strokers. The wild gay lifestyle is largely a joke, from what reality I've seen. Good job!

When I like a story, I read it through and offer my quibbles. Here they are.

“and in the middle lay Ronda,”. Is her name Ronda or Randa?

“She took Lens glass”. Should be “She took Len’s glass”. This is a correct use of an apostrophe, to show possession (although it looks like ol’ Ronda or Randa has other means of showing possession).

“they knew just were to touch to make their lover shiver and tremble with desire.” No, one misspelling and one ambiguous clause. As written, it sounds like each of them had another lover in bed with them; too many men on the ice, bench minor! Try this: “they knew just where to touch to make each other shiver and tremble with desire.”

“The red head moved over to sit beside her and started feeding her the strawberries then would kiss her between bites.” Sentence structure. Try this: “The redhead moved over to sit beside her and started feeding her the strawberries, kissing her between bites.”

“then Randa turned her over abruptly and attacked her pussy.” Illegal procedure on the offense! Don’t go from anus to vagina without thoroughly cleaning item last used on anus. Danger of serious infection. No problem doing anus and vagina, but do vagina first, then anus, or lick and suck that asshole, take a timeout while she recovers or fixes her make-up or plays with her nipples, clean up thoroughly, and then do the pussy. Rinse and repeat. Remember, safe, sane and consensual--and sensual.

You go, girl!