Karma - Intervention

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Dennis was now in a Hospice. His life was over at the ripe old age of 48 years old. He was in his hospital bed. Everything that they tried to extend his life had failed. He had no family left. He had never married after his divorce, and the few children that he had fathered during his affairs either didn't know about him or didn't care about him. He never had any visitors, and he would be dying alone. He was near the end of his life when it happened. He saw a shimmering at the foot of his bed. He watched the shimmering as it slowly took shape. Eventually, it turned into a redheaded Goddess.

"You again." I spat.

"Yes. It is me again. Do you remember that 18-year-old that you tried to pick-up at a frat party in your first year of college? The one that rejected you?"

"There were several of them."

"Yes, but this one actually told you why she wouldn't go out with you." She answered.

"Vaguely." I replied.

"That was me. I tried to get you to become a better person. I really hate dispensing bad karma, but it is, after all, your choice. I tried again when you were 25. In fact, I interacted with you about a dozen times throughout your life. Do you remember Kendra? Your platonic friend? Yes, you tried to seduce me, but that never happened. We were friends for six months before I moved across the country for a job. I tried to use our friendship to help you change. As we can see, that didn't work either."

"Well, if you are who you say you are, how could you spend so much time on me?"

She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm a Goddess. I can be where I need to be. I can spend a couple minutes with you, then be on the other side of the planet looking and sounding completely different."

"So, have you come here to gloat now?"

"No. As I said, I despise having to give out bad karma. I would much rather if everyone was a good person, and I could just give out good karma. Doing this to you brings me no pleasure at all."

"Then why are you here?" I asked.

"I am here simply because you have no one else to be with you at the end. No one should be alone when they meet their final destination."

Karma:

I was there to comfort him in his last hour. Yes, he was an unrepentant bastard, but that didn't matter to me. I was there when he took his final breath. I was the last face he saw as he passed over. When it was over, I left as I had come. There were other people to deal with.

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  • COMMENTS
35 Comments
GuyfromShadesGuyfromShades5 days ago

Enjoyed the story, Thanks for your writing.

Calico75Calico7515 days ago

Well written. Not really much content/plot, but I appreciate the efforts involved in creating the story.

GardenshedGardenshed18 days ago

Well written,good story. Don’t get on the bad side of Karma…. Just saying….

Thanks for sharing…..

Demosthenes384bcDemosthenes384bc19 days ago

Entertaining but almost entirely narrative driven. The paranormal side of Karma smacked of ST’s world a bit, but without the depth of his broader universe. 3.6*

JoeBetterBNiceJoeBetterBNice20 days ago

I feel like some good ideas are in this story, but I lost interest about halfway down and started skimming as Karma was fixing everything and the story had zero suspense. The reader knows that bad things are going to happen to the jerk and good things for the nice people. I know a lot of stories on this site are predictable, but this was over the top predictable. I have read another story where Karma was a character, and it did not come off so predictable, but I can't remember why. The descriptions and flow of the story are fine, so the writer definitely has talent, I just didn't like this tale due to no mystery about what was going to happen.

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