All Comments on 'Katala and the Fox Ch. 02'

Poor choice in recounting her history-- you just copied and pasted the first few paragraphs. Unless the introduction was copied and pasted from this section? We either should have been introduced to Kata as an already grown woman and then found out about her history at the same time as Axel and Isan did, or we should have gotten a slightly different account.

The fight scene didn't go long enough, and wasn't very detailed. I didn't feel panic for Kata. You need to be more descriptive and show the scene rather then tell it.

Her reasoning for stopping the lovefest wasn't very good either.

'"Not that I wouldn't love to continue but the creature I just faced did rip a hole in my back, which would still be there if Howl didn't lick it, though it would be healing quickly, Howl's spit is amazing with healing power. On its own, that wound would be gone in a day, so my healing powers aren't so great. And I am immortal."'

The fact is, it was healed quickly by Howl's saliva. She didn't say, "although my physical wounds are healed, I'm too exhausted" or something of that nature. Then she says that her own healing powers aren't so great because it would take a day to heal rather than being instantaneous. And what does being immortal have to do with it? He already knows. Please, please, please get an editor.

I can tell that I would be very interested in reading your series but I can also kinda tell that this maybe your first time writing a story for the public to read. I'm delighted that you want to share a very original and intriguing story (not that many stories with fox boys in it and an evil elven council) with other people but wouldn't you like for everyone to read it after your writing has been perfected? That way people can fully enjoy the imagination you want to share with everyone. I'd recommend an editor, they can be a great help since they would be reading it for the first time like a viewer would but you'd get the benefit of seeing what they think of the story and your writing before you send it out for the viewers to read. It is up to you though to decide what it is you would like to do.

I don´t buy your story. This is just a brainwashed fantasy, immature and only for children to read. How is it possible for all of her kind to get killed whereas she is immortal - she would not need to hide even as a child - this is just too idiotic to read further. I never have read all the japanese fantasies, but I think You are following in their lead and it is just loughable to think adult readers to like this kind of immature behaviour she is showing all the time! Not worth even a single star!

I really like the feel of this story, but there are some things that keep throwing me.

Changes from first to third person POV, then in Ch1, her age, is she ten, seventeen or a hundred???

Things like that make it a bit more difficult to read your work...

Can't wait for the next chapter. Great work :)

Amazing story!!!!!!!