All Comments on 'Kate and Jake Ch. 01'

This looks like it could be a very hot story, more please as soon as possible!

No wonder Jake is "smiling from ear to ear." Real soon the kid's going to have his head between his mother Kate's thighs, where it last was 18 years ago when she gave birth to him as a tiny baby. Jake'll come face to face with his own mother's vagina, the best thing a son can ever see. He'll study it carefully, drink in its beauty with his eyes, inhale its sharp musky aroma deep into his young lungs--his own mother's cunt-smell, finer than the priciest French perfumes. Then Jake'll joyously apply his lips and tongue, his whole greedy mouth to his mommy's delectable twat, slurping it half to death. How much further will Kate allow her boy to go? I can hardly wait to find out.

This could be a very good story but please stop the clichés. The idea is really good and you made a good start. Look forward to reading more

Reading my prescription bottle is more erotic than this.

It's kinda of lagging but you got the two characters to admit to start teaching than stopped. could have had a little plaqying and kissing going on before you stopped

Seems like there's nothing like a shared love of exercise and fitness to bring a mum and son closer. Looks like mum is going to give her hunky stud son the time of his life! I think we should give the author every encouragement, I wonder how many chapters he's going to manage :)

A really great comment sue, I couldn't agree more. This story has a good feeling of love and tenderness to it. Also, very healthy, sporty and fit boys of that age are in a near constant state of sexual arousal, regularly producing huge amounts of sperm and with amazing stamina - I just hope mum knows what she's letting herself in for...lol

The story is off to a great start but while one can give a lot in small portions you did not. IMHO at the very least the first part needs at least one actual act of incest to make it a good story; you failed on this mark. You didn't even offer an appetizer for all we got to see is what was on the menu. For that you get **

Note even eating a mother to an orgasm would be an appetizer; why you posted before that baffles me.

You may be one of those authors believing we spend the rest of the hours in the day or the days after till we get to the next part. Sitting on our butts and hoping for part 2 for part 1 was just so good. Nope for we have probably read stories before or after yours and even got some sex since your lack luster of a submission.

well....I guess you can't please everyone...lol

Good start just please don't drag this out to a 20 part story where he hasn't even had a lick yet. Or wait a month to part 2.

Just put a little more of a mother child speech pattern in there and it will make the story so much more friendly to a reader.

I encourage you to continue though, because you have very good premise for a start to your series. I see so many possibilities in your storyline.

I am looking forward to more.

Please keep going.

Read the dialogue to yourself. Do you think people really speak to each other like that, in such a robotic way (as has already been mentioned), and in such full paragraphs, explaining everything to the very last detail?

Part of writing is being a bit of an actor. It's difficult to read and enjoy a story when dialogue isn't at all like dialogue.

I thought that the story idea shows promise, but it reads like it was written by Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

Way too analytical and matter-of-factly. No emotion, only facts.

But a good story idea, so keep practicing.

Good start. I hope you've already submitted part 2 for publication.

I see that this authors last storys' installments were posted in pretty quick succession, so let's hope that the same thing happens this time!

Thanks for all your comments. To those who wished for a speedy release of Chapter 2, I can inform you that Ch.01 and Ch.02 were posted one after the other at the same time. Unfortunately, Ch.02 was rejected because, as an Australian, I used a UK English style guide and positioned my commas accordingly. I have re-formatted Ch.02 according to American practices and just now posted it again (31st July 2015), along with Ch.03 and Ch.04. Sorry for the delay, but it was out of my hands. I'll make sure following chapters are written, edited, and posted as soon as possible - using an editor slows things down, but augurs well for a better product

As for the Anonymous commenter who said: "you'll get on... What the fuck does that mean?", I could say the same about "I'll swing by your place..." and a lot of other Americanisms, but instead, I look them up (Google is your friend). Contrary to popular opinion, there is a whole English speaking world out there (outside America). "you'll get on" means "You'll get on with me"; "You have pleased me (to your benefit)"; what you just said puts you in favour with me.

Anyway, I enjoy all comments, positive (thank you) and negative, so please keep them coming - they're educational.

Many thanks, James

Thank you for your positive comment Sue. I base my stories on real life experiences that either I or people I know have had, and it is refreshing for me to know there are at least a couple of people out there (you and Anonymous) who appreciate real life scenarios, rather than porn videos transcribed into text, or BDSM fantasies.

Let me be quick to point out that I have nothing against BDSM, having been a BDSM Dom and Master for over 25 years, and there is little that I have not done in that regard here in Australia and overseas. In fact, I am in the final editing process of a book I have written on BDSM.

Many thanks, James

Thanks very much for your updates James, it's always good to get news from the author, that's what makes Literotica so enjoyable I think, folks sharing comments, views and opinions (good and bad). I'm sure there'll be plenty more to come! Nice of you to mention 'sue' also, I'm sure she'll be pleased :) So....more on the way, wonderful! Thanks again.

Should be longer where's the rest of the story

this poor guy musta been out of it ..lol

I enjoy the stories you write on here more than others because you use real life experiences that, as you said, you or someone you know experienced and I feel that that makes the stories just a lot more enjoyable in general because it shows/tells people that this isn't necessarily just a work of fiction, that it is somewhat real, if changed a bit :) (I hope I managed to get through what I was trying to convey, I suck at finding the right words sometimes.)

You spelled "gray" wrong. One of several errors...

Enjoyed the chapter. Pity that people who comment about grammar make grammatically incorrect comments.

This really doesn't flow at all. People don't speak in long blocks of text, generally. You need to make it more natural. Split it up with the character undertaking an action or something, and make things more concise. And keep your exposition out of your dialogue as well, or at least integrate it better.

I like the premise, and it's atrociously written or anything, but it could be better.

Liked the story so far. Like the character development. The predicament of the respective parties is logically developed. The one unanswered question is when the mother became pregnant at 16, where was the charge of statutory rape?.