All Comments on 'Kate's Mom Comes To Visit Ch. 05'

This story died a long time ago when Paganism was introduced and each submission looks more like a several journal entries that don't really do much to help the story at all. If it was written in story form then I would be able to remember the plot better, if it still had one.

The first few chapters were great, but this very abbreviated "logbook" style with the constantly changing perspective has quickly become confusing. It seems that there still is some kind of storyline, but you have succeeded in hiding it. A bit more character development and especially _descriptions_ would make this much better.

Yes I accept my style may not be to everyone's liking. Remember this im still figuring out how to do this now as to my plot twist I do not apologize either one likes it or not. But I do wonder if my critics have ever tired to write one of these on going stories perhaps I should have made each one a stand alone story? But I chose not to there are way too many of basically the same tale on here so I am tiring to be different.

SUCKY