All Comments on 'Keeper of Secrets'

You could have spent more time on the sex, but I would have liked another page in length, not less build up.

Believable and interestingly nuanced. Very pleasing read. Thank you for sharing.

I fell in love with Ellie, so that makes it a great story!

Maybe that gave away the twist a bit! Either way I really liked this. I kind of understand the complaint of the sex having not been "sufficient" but I don't think you should take it in heart. Sometimes less is more and I really enjoyed the vividness of the language used.

I hope you add new chapters to 'The Switch ' soon.

I felt that the localisation in the early stages of the story was a bit overdone and unexplained. Just a few more words here and there could have helped, such as 'the floods that had swept through the low-lying areas of Brisbane" rather than just 'the flood'.

The bits I liked best were towards the end where the characters were explored more. We all have our insecurities -- nobody's perfect. Some hide them and others wear them on their sleeve. Describing those insecurities was done well here.

Lue

There may be a few confusing ideas you have to clear uo, but overall the story is great. Maybe include more descriptions of the sex, and Seth's hairy sexy body, and how the family dynamic will work out. Keep going. It is interesting reading!

With couple of interesting characterizations.

Liked your story. Hope there's another chapter to take them further and clear up Aidens issue with his mother. Thanks for it.

What a wonderful story.

The tentative way they tip toed around each other. The reluctance to move forward after the breach of personal space.

And then boom, the barriers collapsed, and we were in a different story. Gone was the shy, demure, and insecure woman. And the final comments about knots, her wrists bound, and the bad things he was going to do to a former rape victim ruined it for me.

Good story and I enjoyed it but the question is not forbiden and it is if not the first the most frequently asked, I have no problem with the question at all and neither do the vast majority of those I served with, the problem is the manner in which it is asked or the person and reason for asking.

I must have been asked it over a hundred times (at a minimum ) and have only refused to answer or been upset with it a handful of times.

People are naturally very curious as it is a very uncommon thing to meet someone who has taken life (legally) and who it is (safe) to ask.

Again good story.

at the very end KILLED this story. it sells rape... 1 star

With a lot more character and depth than the usual Literotica submissions. However, I agree with those who think the very end is a little creepy. I think you need to rework it a bit. There's nothing wrong with the ropes and the teasing, and nothing wrong with him returning the favor.

I think the problem lies with how you haven't really supported her love of symbolically tying the man up. There should have been a hint earlier that was where her interests lie, and I think you need to come up with the reason why she loves that sort of sexuality. It could be she is just wired that way, but it could be a result of the rape in her youth. In which case, if she loves the sense of control, would she love the sense of LOSING control?

I think you need to present her as a veteran in her own right, a veteran of unpleasant men. Both are wounded, but only one set of issues is presented.

Aidan is a little shit and Ellie is a manic character. She's super timid but then ties a guy up with her underwear and is later crying about her son and is over it nearly immediately- it's just not a believable characterization. You did well describing promiscuity as response to being raped though.

Try and avoid using the n word in your future erotic stories.

I guess I’m a sucker for happily ever after. There are so many things you could’ve added to finish the story. Maybe one more page could’ve done it. I also would’ve preferred the omission of the “N-word“.

Love their growing relationship, and Seth's hairy belly (I presume a hairy chest as well). He is a great man with a great understanding for her, and an even greater capacity for love. Keep writing please!

The revelation that Seth has contacted her son on FB, prior to them even having dinner, killed the story for me. If it had been dealt with as the tremendous violation of her private life it was, I may have accepted it. But for it to be glossed over as anything he had the right to do, went directly to the issue of rape that is a huge crisis point for her.