All Comments on 'Keira and I'

I really liked your character development. The only criticism I would have is that you need to edit a bit more carefully. You have mixed homonyms that tend to take away from the story. Otherwise very well done! Jerry

Whilst? Well, it's so, so obseqious....Don't do that, please.

I really think this ranks in the top five stories that I have enjoyed . Loved it because of it's authenticity. More good incest would be appreciated .

Probably one of the best stories that I have read in some time. The story developed slowly in a believable fashion. Very good.

What a great story. I first thought that it was going to be so long to get to the point. But, you have a way to continue to build and build up to the finale. I hope that there will be more as a good followup.

I haven't read this story yet, but I'm struck by the thought that 'whilst' is standard British English usage. Could it be that the commenter is just a bit parochial?

Personally I use the word 'whilst' all of the time. I like it. I like the way it sounds and looks on the printed page. Granted, it may not be in common use here in Texas, but then really, who cares.

I would also say that I enjoyed "Keira and I" immensely. It was very well written, presenting a different slant on the topic of incest and I would like to see where it goes.

As to the writer that referred to usage of 'whilst' as obscequious, I would suggest he look up the word 'obloquy.' The word fits him/her to a T.

Beyond the second degree of sanguinity, it is legal to marry in most U.S. States. Considering what they now call marriage in most states, I'm showing my age a bit, I reckon. I may have said all of this to say that I don't find cousin love to be the least bit repugnant. I'm not even sure I view it as incest. Can anyone say Franklin and Eleanor Roosevelt?

In any case, I thoroughly enjoyed your story.

Great story. Loved the build up to them finally getting together. Would love to for you to continue the story.

Such a beginning almost demands additional development. Like the characters in your story, you are doing great! Keep going...

Thanks!

I love it! Like one of the other comments, here in the US it's legal for first cousins to wed in most states. Please finish the story! It's not nice to leave us in limbo...

it got real unrealistic and stupid at the end of page two.

when she pulled him across the parking garage by the ear there is no way in hell he would allow her to kiss him when they got to the car and no way he would sleep in the same room when they got home. aussie or not this was dumb killed the first part dead as a door nail and PLEASE USE A DAMN EDITOR WAY TOO MANY STUPID GOOFS EVEN FOR AN AUSSIE

DBRS

Pretty witty and the characters feel pretty real. Good stuff.

the ear pulling at the end of chapter two killed it. no guy would kiss her after that and sure wouldn't sleep in the same room as her. keep it believable please, realisticly he would have either slept in the living room or dropped her off then gone home. cousin or not she crossed the line and would not be forgiven so easily there is no love there she is just a tease that needs to be ignored and avoided.

Hilarious on occasion, yet properly narrated. I liked it a lot!!

I really liked it! It was great if I may so my self. I was enthralled through the whole story! I haven't read a story like that in quite awhile! Please make more like this one. It was paced great and the way it unfolded was just magnificent! You are one of the greatest writers to have ever posted a story on this website. I say that just from reading this book alone!

Funny, colourful, and very entertaining. But the last few lines? They made me laugh so hard I actually had an asthma attack. Fucking great laugh! Thank you!!!

nicely written .. slow pace... 22 year old virgin girl ...simply ridiclous though

Just like the title says: this story is unbelievable. You kept it sweet and simple, while establishing character development in 5 pages. We understand the narrator's way of seeing things, as well as start to feel attraction for Kiera. Despite all of the writing praise, I must say it was hot. I planned on watching some cheap porn and getting off quick, but this kept me reading for 20 minutes, lingering on every word, hoping they would hurry up and get fucking. It brought to life the exciting reality of trying g to win someone over. All in all, I am very impressed by this. A job well done.

Why did you stop writing? You have some language skill problems but nothing that couldn't be handled with some diligent editing. Except for a couple of criticisms, most of the responses to your stories were favorable. If you like to write, why not go ahead do so and shrug the criticisms off. You're never going to satisfy everyone all the time. That's just life. Go back to writing.

By the way. I liked your stories

Loved the story you should write another one bout Joey and Keira

So well done! Thank you!

The dead horse has probably been beaten enough already, but I'd like to add my two cents.

I don't think the issue is whether the word is appropriate, rather how frequently it is used in the story. I stopped reading about halfway through page one because I thought it was being used excessively. I counted 47 occurrences of the word "whilst" in this story. That's too much, regardless of the word.

I think if you were to use a thesaurus it would make for a better telling of what I'm sure is a good story.

Now I'm going to go back to finish the story

A 22 year old virgin girl is not ridiculous, contrary to popular belief, not every girl shoves her pussy down on every horny cock that pushes itself in her path, hehe. Hell, I can count several female friends, and friends with benefits, that waited padt twenty before having sex. I'm a guy, horny as fuck, and I waited myself, not for lack of opportunity and I was a decent looking, in shape, personable young man.

Background, family life, education, personal beliefs, friends, all play a part too.

Anyway the story rocked pretty good, with a few oddities here and there. I still find it hard to believe other guys have wet dreams! Ive never cum unless my hand, or something else, hehe, was wrapped around it! ...and does any guy, or girl, actually stroke off a dick with only two fingers?!? Wtf is with THAT?? Thats like just putting the tip in her pussy and calling it good sex! Lol.

The whole 'my love' thing at the end was pretty cheese ball, heh.

But... Fuck. Me. Running. I want to trade my wifes body for that girls, RIGHT NOW!! Came from her nipples being sucked, gushed juices down her legs?! Fuuuuuck!! I can't imagine how many times She would cum with me deep inside her for an hour, whew! That would make my century ;)

All of that and she only thinks that she might be in love with him? Puh-lease! By now she should be absolutely positive that she's in love and wants his babies too. The ending was totally anticlimactic. 3/5