All Comments on 'Kevin's Trip Pt. 02'

Maybe SF!

5

Sci Fi wasn't what I expected. I was thinking he had escaped and had long term amnesia. His memory returned just as the cheating wife was released. He met her again and laughed at her while she ranted at him.

Still, well written and enjoyed it.

Great, but needs to be longer.

Yup.. definitely a case of mental delusions !!!

I think you watched Millenium too many times. Also, why not go back in time and just grab a sperm bank and bring it into the future instead of monkey around finding people who are on the brink of death. Anyway, surprised it went in this direction, might be fun if this continues to bring his wife into the future for the drama.

Odd

You write very well and crazy creative. I'm afraid you're going to turn this into a page every 3 days instead of writing longer and doing it up proper, so it feels worth reading. You are doing well, I personally don't like really short additions.

Dumb !

"It's 400 years into your future, Kevin"

That's as far as I got, this has to be your worst story ever! And really no need to split it up in to miniscule chapters.

Damn.... talk about the proverbial "happy ending". Ends up with an Andrews Sisters look-alike, too! Uhhhmm... yeah, this is it!! 5++++/5!!! And thanks... Keep 'em coming!!!

Delightfully crazy. I love it!

That last twist was really good.

I can't say I have read anything like it, so points for originality with overall story. However, as much as I like big breasts, does every two-timed man have to hook up w/ a chesty woman?

We're, what??

Fun little feel-good story, thanks for that.

Poor

Weird.

Nice twist!

Oh my goodness.

I am sorry Mr. MattblackUK.

But the sequel just -- awful.

You had a nice part one. but part 2 is a huge disconnect from the previous.

Meh.

Now that I did not expect. Very nice. Thanks! 5 *

Seems like a brainfart of the author. Matt, you can do better.

Entertaining! Didn't expect the Sci-Fi twist, but I definitely want more.

Good read! I wonder if she ever runs into Marty and the Doc?

Wow, now that's what I call a twist. Great little story, well told, and very originial.

And now for something completely different.

Lost interest 2 paragraphs in...Zzzzzzzzzz

This chapter was much improved over the first chapter. Narrative flowed well and enjoyed the plot twist, although it was a bit too quaint and rushed. 4*

FUN!

Damn it! I liked part 1 and was thinking part 2 would be a decent follow up but here you go with a fantasy and not a loving wife.

This is new for LW. Check out the TV movie Millennia, similar idea but on s bigger scale. Thanks

Hard to rate such a fragment, and looking forward to an interesting sci-fi story

Interesting thus far. Kinda quick to be asking a woman to marry him when he’s only been awake a few hours, but fantasy is for fun. Now we have two old timers hooking up, interested to see where this goes.

maybe kevins trip chpt 2 should be in scifi because there's not much reality in it.

Well that went a completely different direction!!

That was different and entertaining. Nice job.

Loved it. Only problem is that it was too short and makes me want to see another part.

This is just too stupid

400 years into the future !?!? At this point I stopped reading

Definitely did not see that plot twist coming.

Ooo. This is gonna be a very interesting series! Thanks

Imaginative, the turn it took was a big plus. I Wish it was a little longer. Want more details about where he ended up. The new setting has my interest and has me asking a lot of questions like why rescue people and let them live a trad-life rather than his sperm donor idea which seems like it would be more efficient?

Definitely wanted details about what happened to his wife and attackers. Might sound vindictive but consider that his wife and his murderers literally had victory sex after killing him. They stepped over that line into cold heartedness that there has to be at least a little burnage. I have a family member that was an accountant that stole several hundred thousand from their employer that got about 5 years or so, considering that his wifes punishment of just 5 years seems like nothing.

Well, this tale sure went south!

It's a well written story with an interesting premise, but it just seemed to lack something. Perhaps there is a third part that brings the story full circle. Four stars

Really Matt, one page follow up? One that made no sense? Sorry, I don't get it!

I’m reminded of Kurt Vonnegut’s ‘Slaughterhouse Five’ protagonists Billy Pilgrim and his blue movie star lover Montana Wildhack, who are transported in time and space to the planet Tralfamadore so they may mate for their alien audiences. Kevin’s Trip’ could be the beginning of a series wherein you resuscitate, relocate, and couple randomly chosen and seemingly disparate hapless victims of misfortune or tragedy to your 25th century Utopia!?!

Nah….this silly Time Travel gimmick to “explain” what happened to Kevin just fell flat. First of all, it meant that readers got **nothing** in the way of info about why his wife did what she did. It also cheated readers by rendering all of their time spent trying to evaluate possible clues in the first chapter regarding what happened to him 100% moot. Irrelevant. Finally….and because there were one or more home security cameras recording events — which is how wife and fuck buddies got nailed —- they would have shown his body “disappearing in a flash” when Dr. Who showed up to snatch him away 🥳.

++++

Seriously….can’t understand all the kudos for this gimmick from other authors and readers….nor the high score. It was trite….boring….and unsatisfying for anyone who invested a smidgeon of effort to try to figure out chapter 1. Dr Who swooping in was a cheap trick.

++++

Maybe worth 2 ⭐️⭐️

Quite the imaginative ending. Thanks.

That was probably the lamest story I have ever read here.

Think about how different things were from 1622 to 2022. And you expect us to believe they still use the urban slang “tiddies?”

And “The Internet Archives”?? In 400 years the internet will be a distant memory.

And she fell in love with him during the month he was unconscious?

Maybe had you posted this in Fantasy you may, just may have gotten a few people to acce this nonsense.

So chapter 1 was a setup for this story? No thanks.

I was so looking forward to a good BTB story. What I got wasn’t even good enough for a late night B-Movie on the Sci Fi network.

I'm pretty sure this needs to be in the SciFi section, not the Loving Wives. Other than that, interesting story so far.

For once the cuckold wins, although the story took a spin into another galaxy. I would change any current woman for a 1930's woman. Those at least had some redeemable values...!

Interesting. Are you going to continue this series, or will this be the end of it? Looks like Kevin will have a better life, and a new world to learn about. Maybe we can find out more about what happened to his ex-wife and her lovers.

I haven't read all the comments but so far this is a strange twist on the Loving Wife theme. While Part 1 seems to be headed in the standard direction Part 2 has left the station and in heading into the Sci-Fi region. My honest opinion is that society might start viewing sexual independence as the norm but the need for a repopulation of a world that is overcrowded today seems unlikely. Come on Part 3!

wow, awesome short story, very imaginative, but somehow seems possible. I gave 3* to the first chapter, but had to 5* this just for the sheer creativity of your mind in dreaming this up and penning it to paper(or tapping electrons to screen).

While original, I felt the story was dull and undeveloped. Way too short. I was disappointed. While I rated part one 5 stars, I rated part two 3 stars

lol okay, no matter what I think about the rest, I didn't see THIS twist coming ^^

Enjoyed it, but it was a little silly. Well done.

mmmm not what I was expecting and to be honest it feels like a cop out on the orignal story, makes the first part irrelevant in my opinion.

Interesting idea but seems like a plot outline. Needs to be fleshed out!

so scifi and still only a page long guess thats my fault but is this going to be like a 5-chapter story with just 1 page each? and 400 years into the future a bit much there way too extreme scifi for me u need a grounding rod.

Loving Wife to Sci-Fi fantasy

Strange but not unusual just like Saddletramp1956's LW Sci-Fi Fantasy stories....

Interesting with no realistic feeling

u screwed urself when u put quantum theory in it 400 years and no culture shock? never use time travel device in a story unless u know quantum theory, which u do not

dragon dont bother no matter how many times u type it will never be enough lol im convinced that half the "edits" and "proof reads" dont actually happen lol i bet theres going to be wizards in the next chapter

Are you on drugs ?

I just asked if you were on drugs , but I actually enjoyed your story !

1. Should never have have a 2-parter.

2. Should never have been posted.

3. At least it was short.

Complete nonsense.

Two seperate, completely unrelated stories. They belong in 2 separate categories. Both stories feel more like first drafts and not complete stories. Neither story has an ending.

When I wrote part 1 I already knew what part 2 would be.

Also, the fact that the collection of the body wasn't seen on the CCTV. That's because "They watched the door of the house of Kevin and Helen open and saw the body of Kevin dragged behind some bushes."

The body was hidden from the camera by the bushes in the garden.

I’m surprised that nobody noticed that the plot is the same as the Kris Kristofferson movie Millennium.

A curious little story. Part one started off well enough but part two just turned out to be a thinly veiled rehash of the Sci-fi classic Millennium by John Varley, in which people are snatched at the moment of their untimely death and are transported far into the future to repopulate a dying world.

You lost me at “Elon Musk was right.”

She removed his hospital gown and started to ride him. I figured that after being comatose in the hospital for 2 months, he would have had a catheter in his penis. Would have made sex uncomfortable, if not outright difficult.

Pretty boring. The main problem was the lack of depth and expansion. Like others have said, it's basically a bare-bones outline.

Really stupid.

Wow, this is a new low. Switch to sci-fi category. Does not belong here

Why'd you stop? keep it coming. LP

Made me laugh

I'm not really a sci-fi fan but I'll wait for the next chapter

Nice and original part two!!! Well played! 😉👍

An interesting story, but this should be in Fantasy/Science Fiction. His marriage is mostly irrelevant, being used only as a setup for what appears to be a Romance story, or maybe Erotic Couplings. It also seems unrealistic that the nurse knows only as much of his predicament as was revealed in the first chapter. Guess their records and history people just use Literotica as their background source? Seems like they know A Lot about Penny and her history, and that is WW 2 era. So the failure to elaborate on what happened to his whore wife and her asshole fuckers detracted from the suspense and drama. You would think there would be a detailed record of someone held in prison for 10 to 25 years.

Anyway, I guess this is the end? You never said. But thanks for the effort.

An interesting development of the story, which only leaves me unsatisfied on one point, the time switch is so fast that I didn't have time to adjust to it. It's amazing that your protagonist managed to do it in one go. 4*!

I liked it. Charming fun story. I would live to see a continuation. More character inside including what happened to the wife. Just a thought. 5stars

Nah .... just doesn't do a thing... sorry.

I expected something better but you wrote this. ***

May not belong on LW however it was entertaining, please finish the tale.

What are you on?

Apparently my story reminded some people of a film called Millennium. That's not a film I am familiar with.

I'll have to look it up, now.

Definitely needs more but good story

Needs to be fleshed out. This could be quite good.

Not your best mate.

As a SciFi it is an interesting little story. Would like to see a follow-up with Kevin and Penny. If you have some ideas about this future world that is.

Another chapter would be great.

Excellent concept - but things happened with penny just too fast needs more fleshing ou

Interesting but the rush to finish the story made it less enjoyable.

I disliked the fawning on Elongated Musk, even if it was sardonic. He is a tool.

GAWD! I LOVE A Utopian Ending!

Interesting concept, though it seems that this was very shortened and could have been developed into a much longer story.