by Paniolo Boy
Hi, this is a great story. You have imagination and you told the story well. I was a little bored at first, but after I got into it I understood why you spent so much time setting the scene. I don't remember any misspellings but you did misuse words on occasion. For example you used "sole" when you should have used "soul". The word "sole" usually refers to the bottom of your foot, shoe or a particular specie of fish, "soul" refers to a person's inner spirit, it is intangible, many people believe the "soul" leaves the body at death. There is a lot of disagreement about what happens after that. Even with the short comings I have mentioned, I am going to see what else you have posted and read that.
-- srgeek --
So romantic! But maybe it might be followed with them trying to get Kimiko pregnant?
Thats it, you just leaving us hanging after the tremendous buildup. I kept looking for chapter 5 and 6.
I will be looking forward to that.
It's been more than a year since they wed. Tell us about the kids they bred; how they did it; how Ai got jealous and swapped beds with Kimiko; how the ladies at Todd-san's office hit him up; how Kimiko's father went to visit California and impregnated multiple teenagers; etc,
Yes please, continue. And don't forget Todd's and Kimiko's career.
Appreciate the good work. It has a lot of parallels in my life working in Cali and Tokyo.
I loved the entire piece and cannot wait to see more. You write wonderfully and I'm enjoying the adventures of Kimiko and Todd. I'm very eager to read what happens next!