All Comments on 'Kirsten's Revenge'

...to make. On the one hand, I loved the payback, with the punishment fitting his crime perfectly earning a high rating. On the other hand, you've GOT to get an editor or learn how to proofread. Honestly, the typos seriously detract and l'd normally rate it down significantly. Try reading it aloud to yourself and you might notice the missing words and other errors. If you appreciate someone's comment, ask them privately if they would be a Beta reader and share their responses to your work. Check out the writers' resources online here. You write well. I know you can write better. Good luck.

I enjoyed the theme of this -- you handled it well -- but your presentation was so poor as to make it hard to read. Never submit your work while the ink is still wet!

I know you want to get it posted and publishes, but a little more polish would make the difference between the three stars I am giving you and the five you might otherwise have had.

Most of all, keep writing -- it is the only way to improve.

When he gets out what do you think is going to happen? He's going to wait until he gets her alone. Then he gets what he wants as the first thing he does is break her little finger and promises to keep breaking things until he gets his way. Stupid story with no regards to consequences. Password protected? Don't make me laugh.

1 star.

He reads al the LW stories he can and hates them all because the wife fucks around . you must have had a woman really fuck your heart and mind dear annoy. Oh wait It was your wife!! I forgot. Good I'm glad she fucked you up. Wish we could all buy her dinner. have this a 5 to help offset the asshole of LIT's 21 vote!!

I want to thank everyone for the feedback. The comments on proofreading are spot on, and the comments regarding presentation are also appropriate.

I struggled a little with this one as it crosses time and setting. So I'm working that out, and I will begin to seek out feedback before publishing.

Regarding other negative comments. I will not censor any comments. I hope people like what they read but I understand if you don't. If you really hate something, do what I do when I watch TV: I turn if off or change the channel.

And yet something has me thinking that most of these negative posters are also guys. I admit that yes, presentation and formation of the story could be better. They could be worse. There are plenty of strokers that are more terribly written - and I assure you that they have very little criticism. These literary critiques...I can't help feeling that they're coming from guys that are sharply disappointed that they didn't get an immediate benefit from the story. Me? I'm laughing. Big smile on my face. "Mike" starts out in the place that a lot of make characters start in within the nonconsentual genre - he's a dick, he's abusive, and in this story he does get what he deserves.

I'm the usual non-realistic manner characteristic of the genre.

Always password protect. Loved it!

I love this! It made me laugh so hard. I am male and rather dominant in the bedroom, but the misogyny of so many of these non-con stories is so apparent that I think a little revenge tale is just what the doctor ordered to take the steam out of some of the pasty, mouth breathers who drool over the outright rape and burn-the-bitch revenge porn this genre is swamped with.

Could the story have gone on longer? You bet. Could there have been some improvements in the presentation? Sure. Still, it's a good effort, it's freaking hilarious and it sends a much needed message of potential revenge to the veritable army of limp dicked little toads lurking hereabouts.

This story is awesome, winner is you.

Too many of these stories ramble into nowhere. An ending is nice, but a good revenge story is the ultimate money shot.

Didn't see one typo or anything else to interrupt the story. It was great. I took some lessons and appreciate your good thoughts. For a short story this was excellent. I plan on using your outline on a similar problem I have. The only thing I can think of is you might have brought in a dog.

Nicely done! The "gay cowboy" killed me!