Kissin' Cousins

I arrived at Nancy's just before 9pm. I'd barely started knocking on her door when it flung open wide revealing Nancy dressed in what looked like some sort of cowgirl outfit. If you've read any of my stories, you know I'm a skirt, heels, and sweater-loving kind of guy. I also like a bit of makeup and some jewelry on my women. That said, I understand most men don't give a damn what a woman wears as long as they get some before the night's over, but for better or for worse, I'm not most guys. I am intensely turned on by certain things and find it difficult to even get interested in others. This was definitely an "other." But as they say, "in for a penny, in for a pound", right?

While I wasn't yet very experienced in the ways of the world, I was smart enough to know you just don't say anything if a girl wears something you don't like. Ever. But a button-down shirt with metal snaps, pointed cowboy boots, Levis, and a cowboy hat? That, for me, was almost a bridge too far.

I was beginning to regret saying yes when Nancy greeted me with, "Hi, Calvin! Ooops. Sorry! I meant to say 'Cal' but it may take me some time to get used to that. Are you ready?" Nancy was genuinely excited. She struck me as someone was outwardly bubbly but inwardly sad. I wasn't sure that was accurate but I couldn't shake the feeling it was true. I was also under the impression that going to bars must be something she really enjoyed. Oh, great. Strike two. I bit my tongue some more and kept my thoughts to myself.

"Sure! Let's roll!" I said in what I hoped was a convincing tone of voice. I had to admit that in spite of looking like a rodeo buckle bunny, Nancy was still awfully cute. Nothing could change the fact that her skin was soft and smooth or that her face (the part that was visible under the brim of her hat) was just downright attractive. Nancy was pretty. Beautiful was probably too strong a word but 'cute' wasn't quite adequate to describe her. Pretty was the word that just seemed to fit.

We arrived about 20 minutes later and I could hear the thumping of the music all the way outside. "Fuck!" I said to myself. I was only 18 years old but I hated alcohol and loud music. I must be from another planet or at least from another time but what can I say? I know what I like and what I don't like. I might not like booze or booming music but I most definitely did like sex and I had high hopes that might happen tonight or perhaps after another date or two in an atmosphere more conducive to my unique brand of charms.

"That's 'Trainwreck' playing inside!" Nancy squealed. "They're my favorite local band. You're gonna love them! I promise!" She pulled me inside and the first thing that hit me was a dark, blue cloud of cigarette smoke followed by a level of noise that seemed be making my teeth vibrate. There was a very big dude at the door who greeted Nancy by name. He put his hand up to stop me until she sidled up close to him and hollered over the music, "It's okay, Mike. This is my cousin, Cal. He's with me and he just turned 21." Nancy exaggerated a wink as she pulled back from Mike's ear. It was pretty obvious Mike was as charmed by Nancy as I was and he yelled back, "Okay. Have a nice time." As I went by he hollered, "Happy birthday—cousin." Not sure how to take his remark, I just nodded my head and followed Nancy to the bar.

"Hey, Ron! Two shooters and beer chasers on my tab, please!" Nancy told the bartender.

Before he could act, another guy hollered out, "No way! Put those on MY tab, Ronnie!"

"Oh, hey Ed!" Nancy yelled out. "Thanks! Come over and meet my baby cousin!" Ed came over and extended his hand which I shook.

"Cousin? Lucky you, kid! I was wondering whose ass I was gonna have to kick tonight for bein' with my girl here," Ed said. He smiled revealing a gap in his front teeth you could drive a truck through. Now I knew better than to say anything about someone else's grill, but this guy was WAY the hell out of his league with Nancy. I had to assume girls like her put up with guys like him because of the free drinks. At least, I hoped that's all there was to it. Poor Ed also looked like he'd swallowed a deer giving me reason to replace the term "beer gut" with the more pejorative term "deer gut."

Ron also gave me that same look as the bouncer up front. Once again Nancy leaned in very close to this man's face and told him I was with her. That must be all it took to get served because a few seconds later there were two shot glasses with clear liquid in them followed by two glasses filled with draft beer and a foamy head on top of each.

"Bottoms up, Cal!" Nancy said as she tossed back the tequila. "Go ahead. Down it all in one gulp, cuz! That's why they call 'em shots! Woo-hoo!"

As I raised the tiny, clear glass the smell hit me and I thought about putting it down but the excitement in Nancy's eyes convinced me to follow her lead. I downed the shot in one swallow then immediately felt like I couldn't breathe. "Here. Suck on this!" Nancy said holding a slice of lime in her hand. Again, I did as she said and to my surprise, my urge to gag passed only to be replaced by a deep burning sensation all the way from my throat to my stomach. "Now take a drink of beer and then we dance!" she yelled. "Wooo-hoo!" What the fuck had I gotten myself into?

The beer tasted worse than the tequila but at least it didn't burn. Nancy dragged me out onto the dance floor as soon as I sat down my glass and it was then I noticed my lower lip was tingling and that same sensation was running all the way up and down my back. Damn! So that was the allure of alcohol! Not bad.

I'd learned to dance by going to the local Mormon Church with my friend Glen which is where I also met Karen. Unlike their Baptist counterparts who considered dancing (and movies) a sin, Mormons actually sponsor dances for their youth. I was shocked to see Karen Moreland there, the girl I'd had a crush on since the 7th grade when she was in 8th. I'd just gotten my braces off but had still never had a date in my life.

Surprisingly, Karen had also come with a friend and didn't have a date. As soon as Glen introduced us, she grabbed my hand and told me, "You're with me tonight!" Having never had a girlfriend before, I ended up telling her that if she ever wanted to go out sometime, to just give me a call rather than asking her out right then and there. Fortunately for me, two days later the phone rang and it was Karen calling. She told me she was taking me up on my offer and would like to go out with me sometime. I asked her out for Friday night and she enthusiastically replied by saying, "I'd love to!"

I took her to a modestly nice restaurant using the money I was earning from my job on a dairy farm and we had a nice time talking and laughing as we got to know one another. On the way home, Karen really caught me off guard when slid over next to me and took my hand. A few minutes later she asked me if I'd like to go parking. That was my first real kiss and I got many of the French variety to boot. At each stage of our relationship, she was the aggressor. The next step was her putting my hands on her soft, size-C breasts, then graduating to giving me blow jobs, and finally telling me at the drive-in that she'd decided she'd do anything for me. Later that very night in a secluded spot in the woods, I lost my virginity to her in the back seat of dad's Chevy Impala.

Because of that dance, I'd learned enough that I could at least hold my own on a dance floor. "Can you line dance or two-step?" Nancy asked me. I told her I could do the two-step and within seconds were flying around the room where everyone there seemed to know Nancy.

"Hey, Nancy!" one woman about her age called out. "Does your boyfriend have a twin brother for me?" she teased.

"Back off, bitch!" Nancy said playfully. "That's my cousin you're talking about and he's all mine tonight." Nancy's smile and easy-going manner was infectious. We danced the better part of half an hour and that one shot had me buzzed the entire time. Just after ten o'clock, Nancy's friend, Jean, came in with another girl whose name I didn't catch.

"Jenny! Over here!" Nancy called out as she waved wildly at them. Both girls smiled and made their way over toward us. "Hey, girls! This is my cousin, Cal. You know, the hottie I told you about." Nancy winked in that exaggerated way which told me she had indeed discussed me with her friend.

"Oh, my God! He really is as cute as you said," she said as she gave me the once over. "Hi, Cal. I'm Jen."

I shook the hand she offered and said, "Nice to meet you, Jen."

"And he's a gentleman! Where have you been hiding this boy, Nancy?" Jen said as we danced to the next song that had just started playing.

Before I could say another word she and Nancy were calling for more shots and beer. There was no time to protest and before I knew it I'd downed two more shots and another large swig of beer. There was to be more very large shot and another beer chaser before I quit for the night.

Jen grabbed my hand again and I suddenly found myself back out on the dance floor. "I can't believe you're only 18! You're really cute. You know, if Nancy wasn't your cousin, you'd be getting lucky tonight. She talked about you non-stop for half an hour yesterday. But she is your cousin so...I'm hoping I might be the one getting lucky later on." Jen pulled me in close and I saw Nancy motioning for me to kiss her just as we spun around and Jen saw what she was doing. I don't know how women know but they do. Jen looked at me for a few seconds as I was looking at Nancy and she said, "Oh, my God! You've got a thing for your cousin! Oh, my God! Fess up. You like her! And by that I mean you like her, don't you?"

I was really feeling the tequila and I noticed two things. First, I was having a hard time talking. Just forming the words because a real chore. Second, I couldn't seem to stop myself from talking. I ended up saying what I'd have normally never said. "Yeah. I guess I do," I said hoping I wasn't slurring my words. "But just look at her. She's so pretty." The last word sounded like it had two "d's" in it rather than two t's.

Jen just laughed. "Okay. I see where this is going. Or rather where it's not going—at least for me. That's a shame because I'm really horny and pretty damn great in bed, Cal. I just wanted you to know that," she said in a way that let me know she understood she was losing out to a friend. She paused then smiled wickedly. "You know what they say, right, Cal?" I had no idea what it might be that "they" were saying and I was now too drunk to care. "Incest is best. Yep. That's what they say. Good luck with that, okay?"

Jen dropped me off next to Nancy and said to her, "Okay, girlfriend. He's cute but he's got a thing for another older woman here." Jen nodded at Nancy who seemed genuinely confused. Jen continued. "Guess he's all yours. Too damn bad. I'd have done him six ways to Sunday."

We made our way back to the table, and I don't remember anything else that happened that night until we were back inside Nancy's house and to be honest, I don't remember much of that. When I opened my eyes (or at least when I remembered doing that) I was on her couch and she was pulling a blanket over me. "You're gonna sleep here tonight, lightweight. Sorry for getting you drunk. I should've known better."

"It's okay," I murmured. I was still pretty out of it but tried to pretend otherwise. "I'm fine now, I slurred. "Thanks for taking care of me, Nancy."

"No problem, Cal. Sleep tight." She stood up for a moment then sat back down next to me. "Cal? Can I ask you something?"

I was still pretty foggy but was awake enough to mumble, "Sure. Anything."

"Jen told me what you said. You know, about me being pretty and all." Nancy sat there for a moment looking down at me. "Did you really mean that? Do you think I'm pretty?"

I tried to focus but the room was still spinning. Not as much as it had been but things were still moving as though stuff was made of liquid. I did my best to look at her and tried to act as sober as I possibly could, but I wasn't fooling anyone. I was still slightly slurring my words as I said to her, "Oh, yeah. I did say that. You are pretty, Nancy. You're really, really pretty." I was semi aware I should have stopped right there but unable to, I added, "I wish you weren't my cousin cause...I... I...I really luv...y..."

Nancy reached out and smoothed back the shock of hair that had fallen into my eyes as I passed out before finishing my sentence. She leaned down and kissed me on the cheek and said, quietly, "Good night, Cal." As she raised up, I woke up momentarily as I felt the back of her hand brush across my cheek. I reached up and grabbed it and pulled it toward my mouth. I kissed her hand gently then released it as my lack of tolerance for alcohol got the best of me. I was out like a light and fell instantly back into a long, deep sleep.

When I finally woke up, my eyes felt like they'd been sewn shut after someone poured sand in them. I managed to open one of them enough to see the clock on the wall said it was 12:35. That didn't make any sense because that was about the time I went to sleep. Or at least I thought that was when I laid down. I hadn't slept past 8am since I started lifting and normally, I'd have already had breakfast, been to the gym and finished my workout, and be having lunch. The thought of food made me feel nauseous and then the pounding in my head brought me to the realization that I was experiencing my first hangover.

"Hi there, sleepyhead! You're awake," Nancy said cheerfully. "I didn't want to bother you, but I was getting a little worried. You okay?"

I forced myself to sit up and noticed my mouth felt like someone had filled it with nasty-tasting cotton balls. "I think so. Other than the jackhammer going off in my head, that is."

Nancy laughed. "Hangovers are the worst. I avoid them by keeping up my tolerance for alcohol."

"Alcohol. Oh, God. Don't say that word, okay?" I said trying to unstick my lips and make my fat tongue work. It felt like it was made out of cotton and seemed to fill my entire mouth.

"You go take a long, hot shower and I'll make you something to eat. Don't worry. Just some toast and orange juice. You'll feel better after that. There are fresh towels in the bathroom closet."

We didn't say much during the late brunch, but as Nancy had promised, I did feel a whole lot better after the shower and eating something.

"Next time you decide to take me somewhere," I said. "Can I choose what we do?"

Nancy covered her mouth and stifled a big laugh. "Of course you can. And Cal, I'm really sorry about last night. I just thought you'd have a good time."

I sipped on some black coffee and told her, "Actually, I did. I mean, I think I did. Not the drinking part, though. That definitely sucked."

"What part did you enjoy?" she asked.

I took another sip before answering. I didn't look up when I answered quietly, "The being with you part. That was nice."

Nancy didn't respond for a moment, either. Her reply was also very soft. "It was nice for me too, Cal."

Neither of us spoke while I finished my coffee.

"Cal? Do you remember us talking last night after we got home?"

"Um. No. Not really. I did have a crazy dream, though."

"Really. What was it about?"

"I dreamed you were kissing me on the cheek. Weird, huh? Even more weird was dreaming I kissed you back." I was feeling ever-so-slightly better and tried to smile as looked up and did the Elvis thing with my mouth as I used the title of one his lame movies, "Kissin' cousins, right, little mama?"

Nancy smiled at me but it was different this time. I don't think I would have understood it even had I been my normal self and I certainly couldn't make sense of it in this condition. It was just that it looked so unusual. It looked...caring.

"Yeah. Kissing each other would really be weird, wouldn't it?" she said softly while looking down at nothing in particular. "So did you actually want to do something together again or have you had enough of your crazy cousin who takes you to bars and gets you drunk?"

Another strained smile from yours truly. "No. I'm not tired of my crazy-but-cool cousin. I really would like to go out again. Well, not 'go out' go out or anything. You know, just maybe go do something together again one evening."

"I'd really like that, Cal. You choose when and where this time, okay?"

I stood up and got ready to leave. "So I'll call you then?"

"Yes, please. I'll look forward to it. And Cal, I really am sorry about last night."

We got to the door and I said, "I'm not. Sorry, that is. I like spending time with you, Nancy. You're not crazy, cuz. In fact, I think you're pretty great, you know?" She didn't respond and I said, "I mean that. You're really...amazing—for a cousin, that is."

Nancy seemed genuinely moved by what I said and I thought for just a moment I saw a tear well up in her eye but I still didn't trust my senses so I dismissed it as nothing. I opened the door when I felt Nancy's hand reach out and grab my arm. I turned around to face her and as I did, there was that 'look' again. Nancy stepped toward me and put her arms around my neck and hugged me. "Thank you for going out with me, Cal. You're the best cousin ever. And you're pretty amazing yourself—for a cousin."

I stood there and held her for a few more seconds before we released one another. This time, I definitely saw a small tear at the corner of her eye. I instinctively reached up to wipe it away as I asked her, "Are you okay?"

"Yes," she whispered. "I'm fine. I just get like that when... No one's made me feel special for a very long time."

"Then I don't feel so bad because you are special and you should feel this way all the time."

Before I could say anything else Nancy shooed me out the door, gathered her composure, and said, "Okay. Go! Get home. And whatever you do, don't tell your dad, okay?" She smiled and looked like her old self again.

I headed down the steps and called back. "Not a word. I promise!"

Chapter 3

Sex with Karen had been easy. She was always the aggressor from the first kiss to petting to blow jobs and finally fucking. Sex wasn't easy, per se, with my English teacher but I had a risk-free way of letting her know how I felt. She assigned us a paper in which we had to say with which person we'd most like to spend a day and why. Without naming names, I made it quite there was this hypothetical high school senior who had a crush on his very attractive, hypothetical English teacher. I also made it very clear that should she have a similar interest in him, he would be utterly discrete and never mention anything that might happen to anyone. I also surmised in this paper that the hypothetical teacher was married but often felt alone due to a husband whose work came first. As it turned out, that was exactly the situation in which she was living. Getting a first invite wasn't too terribly difficult and from there, a lot of patient listening and understanding were all it took. Well, that and getting my braces off and almost a year in the weight room. But I digress.

But this was different. How was I going to be able to have sex with my 36-year old cousin? My sense was she was physically attracted to me but giving me access to Valhalla was an entirely different story. I didn't think something as obvious as a drive-in movie would work and she didn't seem like the kind of woman who was impressed with an expensive restaurant or the kind of jewelry I couldn't afford anyway.

I was mulling over the possibilities when I remembered having met a guy from Karen's church named Sterling—after the city in Wyoming. Unlike mine, his dad had money. He was airline pilot. He also owned a ranch with cattle and horses. Working in my favor was the fact that Sterling had a girlfriend named Renee and they were fucking like minks (or so he once told me during one of our after-church talks in his truck in the parking lot.) Were all Mormon girls really that easy? My experience thus far had told me "yes."