Know Thyself Ch. 01

Wow, I think to myself. I'm beautiful. Shoulder length blonde hair, black bra and panties, gorgeous legs. This is the type of girl Ben would've dreamed about going home with. Well here I am! I have gone home but notwithher but ratherasher.

I go to the closet and pick out my attire for the day. There are some clothes in here I will have to work up my courage to wear. Dresses and skirts don't quite appeal to me yet, so I return to the dresser and look for a pair of shorts. I find a pair and put them on, once again looking in the mirror. Wow they are short! They come down just past my butt, so at least that is covered. In another drawer I find a white t-shirt with the word OBEY on it. I never understood those shirts. I've seen them before but I could never tell who or what I was supposed to obey. I slip the shirt on and realize it's very tight. Ben would never wear something like this but that's mainly because of the mild gut he had. Ashley is quite a different story. The shirt accents the curves of my body and the size of my breasts. I go back to the closet and find a pair of sandals. It's either that or heels and I'm not quite ready for that either. This girl has to have a pair of sneakers around somewhere. I'll look for them later. I take one last look in the mirror and realize this is as ready as I'll ever be. I need to get out of here.

The day was uneventful, other than the various cat calls I received. The first time it happened I was surprised and thought, "why do girls complain about this all the time?" After a couple hours and a few dozen more comments I immediately began to realize. God this is annoying! It was finally evening and I found out what that middle-aged woman was talking about earlier. Someone by the name of Wendy texted me asking if I'm still coming out.

"Sure," I begin to type. "Where is it again?"

After a moment her response comes in. "Jeez Ash!!!!!! The Wall. 7"

The Wall? 7? Well seeing as how it's 6:45 right now, she probably means we're meeting at 7:00pm. But The Wall? I'd never heard of it before. I look it up on Google Maps and realize it's not that far from my home. My new home, not my old one, which come to think about it I guess was never my home if I never existed. I'll have to pay a visit to my Astoria apartment at some point. Maybe there will be some answers there.

I get to The Wall and realize it's a restaurant and bar. Before I walk in I realize an immediate danger. I'm not going to have any idea what my friends look like. What do I do? Then it hits me, Facebook to the rescue again! I know the girl's name is Wendy. How many friends named Wendy can this girl have? Sure enough she only has one and I get a good look at her picture. I walk into the restaurant and realize it's basically an Applebee's rip off. The hostess asks me how many and I say I'm looking for a friend. I see Wendy sitting at a table in the back with two other girls.

Crap! I'm not going to know their names either.

As I walk up to the table, Wendy shoots up and yells out in a high pitched voice, "Ash!" She gives me a hug and a kiss on the cheek. The other two girls hold their hands out for hugs as well. I guess this is a hugging group. I sit down next to Wendy. The Ben part of me notes that all three girls are very attractive. Wendy has light-brown skin and black curly hair, probably bi-racial. The girl across from me to my left has curly brown hair and the one directly across from me has reddish hair.

"So what's up?" Curly brown hair says to me.

I shrug. "Nothing much. What about you?"

Wendy cuts in. "Well Jen says Brian just posted on Twitter that he's on his way here." Ah! So curly brown hair is named Jen. But who is Brian? Wendy is looking at me with a big smile on her face, as are the other two girls.

"So?" Is all I can think of to say.

"Oh come on! All you've been talking about for weeks is how cute Brian is," Jen says. "Don't act like you don't want to have his babies."

The three girls all laugh. I just shrug. "Maybe.

The girls laughter dies down.

"Something wrong, Ash?" Wendy asks.

"I'm just feeling kind of weird today. It's been a rough day."

"Yeah, we can tell," Reddish hair says.

I look at her. What does she mean she can tell? There's no way they can know I'm really a guy. It's impossible. She picks up on my quizzical look.

"You're not wearing any makeup. Did you just roll out of bed?" Reddish hair says as the other two giggle.

I completely forgot about makeup! I don't even know how to put it on. I file that away as another potential problem for later.

"I didn't sleep well last night."

Jen looks at me. She nods to reddish hair. "Stacey has some in her purse. You want to put some on before Brian gets here?" Ok good, so reddish hair is Stacey. At least I have their names now.

"No, I'm ok."

"All natural. I like it," Wendy says. It's clear she's my closest friend.

The waitress walks over to our table and smiles. "What can I get you girls?"

She's looking at me so I just order the first thing that comes to mind. "Sam Adams."

The three girls at the table chuckle under their breath. The waitress doesn't say anything so I look up at her. She has her eyebrows raised.

"Can I see some ID?"

"Yeah, sure." I open my purse and find the ID from earlier. I hand it to her. She looks at it and immediately hands it back.

"Nice try. Can I get you anything else?"

I don't understand what's going on and then I realize what it is. I'm only eighteen years old. I mean, Ashley is only eighteen.

"Sorry, I'll have a Coke."

The waitress smiles. "Much better. And for you?" She takes the rest of the orders and walks away.

"What was that?" Jen is looking at me with a smirk.

I can't think of anything to say so I just blurt out, "I forgot I can't drink."

They just stare at me with weird looks but then Jen and Stacey look up behind me and I realize someone is there.

"Hi girls." A male voice says behind me. I turn around to see a boy around my age, maybe slightly older standing there. He's taller than me and has short light brown hair. His blue eyes match mine and he's wearing a New York Giants jersey. A man of good taste at least.

"Hi Ashley," he says to me.

"Hi," I say back, staring blankly.

"Hi Brian," Wendy chimes in. "We were just talking about you."

"All good things?" He says with a smile, but still looking at me.

I feel like I should say something. What would a girl normally say to me in this situation? I blurt out, "Mostly."

The three girls at my table giggle.

"Well anyway, a friend of mine is holding a graduation party on Friday. The four of you are invited if you'd like to come."

"Yeah, sure." Stacey is quick to accept.

"Cool!" Brian looks again at me. "What's your number? I'll text you the info."

My mouth goes dry. I totally forgot to look at what my phone number is. I just sit there, my mouth hanging open, looking like a fool. Once again, Wendy comes to the rescue.

"You can send it to me." She rattles off her cell number.

"Thanks. Hope to see you girls there," he says as he walks off.

The three girls all look at me, each of them trying to suppress a laugh. Finally they all let it out at the same time.

Jen looks at me. "Someone's in love."

"Yeah, real smooth Ash. He has no idea you want to marry him now," Stacey adds in.

"I would be speechless too if that boy asked me for my number," Wendy says, trying to save me.

The rest of the night happens without incident and is kind of boring. The three of them rattle on about things that make no sense to me. To be fair, it's not their fault. I just have no idea who any of the people are or what any of the inside jokes are referring to.

When I get back home, I lay in my bed reflecting on the weirdest day I've ever had. Things will probably go back to normal tomorrow. They have to, right? I tell myself this has to be some type of dream while another part of me says it can't be. It feels too real.

My room turns out to be pretty hot, so I decide to wear a pair of panties (non-thong!) to bed and the same spaghetti-string top I woke up in this morning. Instinctively my hand goes to my crotch. That's always how I (meaning Ben) would go to sleep. For a second I almost forget I no longer have a penis. My new vagina surprises me as I touch it. The same electric feeling from this morning starts to fill me and I start to rub myself on the outside of my panties. It feels like nothing I've never felt before, for the second time! I start to think about Wendy, Jen, and Stacey. That's who Ben would've thought about. The three of them were definitely hot and I start to imagine myself in bed with them. Suddenly the feeling starts to subside. I don't understand what's wrong and I try harder to hold onto it. I slide my panties off and insert the tip of my index finger inside myself again, just as I did this morning. The warm electric feeling starts to come back. Once again, my free hand goes for my nipples. I take my top off and lay completely naked in bed. I fully insert my index finger and start to slowly take it in and out. I know I should find this weird but it feels so good that I can't seem to stop. Without thinking, I put a second finger inside of me. Again I think of Wendy, Jen, and Stacey. Their beautiful bodies, ripe and supple. I imagine them naked with me, the three of us rubbing our bodies together. The feeling starts to subside again. For some reason I can't hold onto it when I think of my three friends.

I decide to let go of them and just focus on the feeling I'm giving myself. I find the nub of my clit and start to rub that back and forth while my other hand massages and plays with my nipples. A slight moan escapes my lips and my stomach starts to tighten. My back arches as I start to get even more into it. I'm now rubbing my clit fast as ever, the current of ecstasy surging through my whole body. I almost lose control of myself.

Then an image pops in my head. The image of Brian. I imagine him naked, on top of me. Without thinking my two fingers go inside of me and start to pump in and out and in my head I see Brian pumping in and out of me. It feels like total bliss and I can feel an explosion building up inside of me.

What am I doing?! The thought scares me but I can't seem to get it out of my head. I lose control of my hands as they continue to pleasure me.

"Brian," I whisper out to the solitude of my room.

My moaning becomes stronger and suddenly the explosion erupts. My fingers become completely soaked with my juices and my legs tighten around my hand. My body spasms and I let out a squeak at each jolt. My whole body becomes very sensitive so I let my hands rest at my sides. I continue to jerk as each orgasmic spasm begins to rest me. When it's finally over I lay there, thinking about what just happened.

I just came thinking of a man. It's never happened to me before. Why didn't I think of Wendy, Jen, and Stacey? They're the ones I really want. As if I wasn't confused enough, the way my body feels is like nothing I've ever felt before as a man. Even my biggest ejaculation was nothing compared to the orgasm I just gave myself as Ashley. But does this mean I'm into men now? It can't be. It was just a weird one-time thing. I've had a very stressful day and the weirdness of whatever's happening to me must be getting to me.

I know tomorrow I will wake up back in my Astoria apartment, to my bare walls, and to my old self. I'll be Ben once again. There's no way I can wake up as Ashley, can I? There's no way this can be permanent.

I suddenly feel a tinge of fear. Not fear at being Ashley permanently, but fear that I will never feel the ecstasy I just felt. Ben never felt that good before and can never feel that. Only Ashley can.

I quickly get the thought out of my head. Tomorrow I will wake up as Ben and continue my miserable life.

As I start to drift off to sleep, a small part of me wishes that when I wake up in the morning, I can live as this beautiful creature named Ashley for just one more day.