All Comments on 'Know Thyself Ch. 04'

Interesting concept. Needs more sex. I know if I turned into a hot 18 year old,

be out banging a lot more than Ben / Ashley is.

I agree with lefric, but I actually like the pacing thus far. Can't wait for the next installment :)

I really enjoyed this story. I Hope you will continue. Makes me wonder if there is really Life after Death,

I really liked this series. I think it was incredibly well written, and well paced, and I so desperately want Matt and Ashley to do it.

My advice, however, is to let it end here. You've got a great 4 chapter novella thing going on.

Like I said, leave your audience wanting more.

Absolutely don't end it here. There's a lot more to explore in this story's universe, a cliffhanger would be more disappointing than anything. The day will come when there's a last installment, but today can't be the day.

Thank you everyone for such positive feedback! There will be some sex scenes coming up, but only if it advances the plot of the story.

I really appreciate the comment Clanon. It's good to know that someone wants more as they read the story. However, I will say there are more chapters to come. That isn't to say there won't be any cliffhangers as we get deeper in the story, but this certainly isn't the ending.

Thank you so much for taking the time to comment everyone. Really, it means a lot to me :)

Soon?

. . . derfully written, thank you!

I have read now four chapters of this story so far. What I have noticed compared with other stories that I have read is that you do not go into a great deal of detail of what Ashley wears for clothes or her getting ready to go out on a date for instance. Like no mention of her taking a shower, doing her hair or make up. And you seem to not let Ashley explore her own body, which would be normal for a teenage girl to do. You seem to telling it like a guy would I suppose, just not giving all of the details. Will Ashley get her memory of what her 18 years had been like before she became a girl? A few minor typing errors like using she instead of he. But overall the story is rather good and interesting, and want to see how the story ends for Ashley.

I disagree with lefric. I am loving the pace. There doesn't need to be sex on every page... just MY opinion... not to say that he is wrong. I also don't need to know about putting on makeup, or other mundane things that all women do, just that he/she is learning how to do it.

I love that through Ashley, Ben is learning about interpersonal relationships; if and when he gets back to himself he will never feel the same about his personal relationships, or about women.

Great story. Moving to the next chapter. Thanks!

Let me say first that I enjoy the story. You deserve the high scores because of the thoughtful dialog and musings, the interesting plot developments and the serious treatment of what is usually a frivolous sex fantasy. Usually I leave it there and say how I look forward to reading the next one. However, I have become sensitized to the whole political aspect of things because we have been left no area of our lives that is free of politics. In articles and cable news items, in human resource corporate policy statements I am being told that I have to change my views and think the right way. I can’t watch a fucking football game or ESPN without having someone point out that as an adult white male everything bad in America is either caused by some mysterious unconscious bias I’m supposed to have or because I’m just evil. Never am I told that ‘my people’ invented just about every system, technology, moral code and scientific advancement that makes our prosperity, health and happiness possible. Nope, apparently I’m the problem because I’m ‘multi-phobic’.

So my attention is aroused when I read a story that seems to try to tell me that I’m wrong if I believe in humanity’s most basic of biological facts; that man is man and woman is woman.

It’s an ‘Emperor has no clothes’ kind of thing going on. Mass hysteria erupts, name calling ensues, outraged hatred pours forth when one states the obvious, that chromosomes determine sex and no level of cosmetic surgery, sex hormones or incorrect pronouns are going to change that.

So I enjoy your writing and look forward to the next chapter but I sincerely hope you won’t ruin your story by lecturing us that “the whole idea of masculinity and femininity is absurd”. And remember that to arrive at a situation that made it plausible for your character to say that you had to cancel the laws of biology, demand your audience completely suspend belief, and resort to magic.

Still, the writing is worth five stars (even if you are belaboring particular points to excess).

First, this is a fantastic series. I love the character study and the character growth. This is a full-fledged novel. I applaud you. It may seem strange, but one of my favorite parts is your knowledge of the subways. I am an "expatriate" NY'er and your description and feelings about how to get from Queens to Brooklyn really brought it home to me. Excellent job, Bethesda!

Jeez this story was such a bait and switch. The first chapter was well written, and it seemed it could go somewhere interesting. But instead all we get are page after page of the main character complaining and being miserable.