All Comments on 'Kondo San?'

The bouncing between languages was a bit disconcerting, but from a writing standpoint it made sense. The whole sequence could have stood a little more build up, but it still had a good balance.

Thank you.

Five.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uAEphHf0P-c

The awkwardness due to the lack of familiarity with foreign customs on both of their parts made your prose sparkle. I have spent a fair amount of time in other countries besides the U.S., and you brought back to life a few treasured memories for me. This strikes me as a very unusual story for this site, and I think you did an admirable job. I don't mean this at all as a criticism, but I hope moving forward, the awkwardness softens a bit.

Thank you, this is a very good story. I wish that my abilities in foreign languages was some thing other than none. But you did make the story very enjoyable and surprisingly easy to understand.

although a little confusing about the his and hers body parts. The language intermixing was cute, but also confusing. I have good oral skills, but they don't include other languages. Nonetheless, it definitely provided an atmosphere of the Japanese culture where I have visited and enjoyed and although I engaged several Japanese students on the ski slopes in English conversation, none of them suggested we reconvene in a pleasure hotel for extended intercourse, verbal, oral or otherwise.

I hope you will write many more. Your work is both very educational as well as entertaining.

Question : Can this come just from imagination?

(Loved the first part)

Joe, I liked your skill at blending two such different personalities, from two such different cultures. As if you were making a mix-tape of two different musical styles.

As for the weaving of languages? The Britamerican language is a conglomerated colossus of thousands of languages! A substantial percentage of contributions c of words were taken from dialects, technical jargon and slang of hundreds of small tribes and sub-groups. That never had more than a few hundred, or fewer, native speakers.

In addition to adopting a multitude of word-concepts from languages that have not been spoken in centuries and thousands of years. The native speakers dying out leaving us these jewels of resurrected languages.

Very enjoyable! Thank you so much for sharing it with us!

You need to be more careful with pronouns (him/her, his/hers, etcetera). Many times, you used the male/masculine version of a pronoun when referring to the woman. A minor error, but enough to pull the reader "out of the story" Perhaps you could find an English-fluent editor to help you to catch and correct these errors BEFORE you submit a story to Literotica.

-Rei

Thanks for your appreciation. Regarding my gender mistakes... well, I had noticed them many time. It's just a matter of lack of attention, in the writing and in the editing (I am always in a hurry to see my things published, y'now...).

I will be more careful for the next editing, I promise...

Thanks again.

Most stories on Literotica are "repeater" stories -- you've already read them, or if not, if you keep reading in the same genre or category, you wil read them repeatedly. Oh, the names and places change and so do the details, but the core story gets told by numbers of authors. This is not bad. But it means that it is hard for an author to be "different." But that is the exactly what Joe456 has accomplished. He has taken a common Literotica plot -- boy meets girl and they have sex -- and made the names, places and details so different that, as I was reading, I truly thought I was reading a unique story. It was not until I began composing this comment that I realized I was meeting the same woman (story), but dressed so exotically that I did not recognize her. Absolutely MASTERFUL! It's something that few people could do, especially Americans, because it required knowledge of 3 languages, and used considerable knowledge of Japanese culture, as well as some corresponding information of Italian and American cultures. It was so real with an I-was-there-and-lived-it feel, that I cannot imagine how the author could have contrived it (details, yes, but not the main force of the cultural blend), without having lived it, or at least a considerable part of it.

By the time he got to the actual union with the woman, the author had so steeped me in another culture's way of thinking, that I felt the woman was looking at this sexual encounter in some Japanese Oriental mindset that differs from our American Western perspective. I still say, from my Western-Christian-American worldview, that she was a slut. Not a wild, unrestrained slut, but a deliberate, controlled, thinking slut. But,nevertheless, a slut. If she were not, there would have been no Literotica-type story.

The strength of this story is also its weakness -- trying to encompass 3 cultures with their languages. Of course, I cannot speak to anything Japanese or Italian. But there were times when I was thinking: geez, every paragraph has an English problem. I like it when non-English writers give the "accent" of their own language's thought patterns and modes of expressions. It gives it an exotic flair, instead of reading the same old English ways of expressing thought. But in this story it became too much of a good thing, to the point of interfering with the story. It is more than just the gender confusion of pronouns that has already been mentioned. It is to the point that a native English-speaking editor is needed to straighten out a multitude of things that do not feel right in English. I notice that this is the author's first story, so perhaps this problem has been rectified and my suggestion is no longer needed.

Nevertheless, this story is so unique that I gave it 5 stars. It was a pleasure to read (in spite of the mild interruptions in thought due to the language problem).

Paul in Oklahoma

Thanks for your comment (sorry, that's not a comment: that's a review...). As a matter of fact, I have never lived in Japan, and my contacts with Japanese people (and Japanese girls) have been not so much thorough, but I have read a lot about that Country, its culture, its religion and even its point of view about sex, and I keep being interested about it.

I could put some more of it in the next editing of my series, but I am afraid I had pad the stories out a bit too much already...

Good story, however, like other said, the pronouns can put some people off. Also, what are the odds of meeting someone so proficient in English/Italian and that person offering her help in Tokyo? Highly unlikely.

Yes, it is quite unlikely, but not impossible. Someone who speak foreign languages (and in a place like tokyo they are not so rare) is always happy to practice them and use it for some useful purpose, especially for the benefits of somene in need. However, it's a classical example of "A meets B" (see the "Divine Comedy" for details). And after all, I was writing a story, and the two main characters had to meet each other, somehow. A story is a story is a story is a story...

As far as I am both an Asian fan (I am caucasian, live in Europe), and a travel Fan, this story is the best I red on this site.

It does not sound real? sure it does not. but it doesn't matter. We read here fantasies. What we would like to happen to us.

Your story teleports us in a world of dreams, and best mark is still not enough. thank you! .