All Comments on 'Kristin's Fall'

by natalie_undie

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  • 36 Comments
AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
another wife who acts as if she never had sex

another story where a wife acts as if she never got laid, but as far as we know she did....by her husband.

<P>

<P> so why is she taking a lover, without caring about her marriage, her family, her husband - without caring about who gets hurt?

MacDukeMacDukeover 16 years ago
Good Start

Good job of building the tension. But the paragraphs are way too long. Use dialogue to break up and then enhance the action.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Well Done

Great Story, keep them coming like this.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Bob

Bob finds out, chops Ron's dick off and shoves it down his throat before covering him in kerosene and setting him on fire. He catches his whoring wife, takes her to the forrest and hangs her in a tree and guts her alive, much like a dead deer.......maybe even skins her alive first, yeah, she deserves it.

Alvaron53Alvaron53over 16 years ago
Not well-authored

The writing here is bad with words misspelled, omitted and used incorrectly. Get an editor. Please.

<P>

The storyline isn't much, a wife's descent into adultery for the usual reason: Big Cock Syndrome (boring). The characters are not well-developed. They're two-dimensional without depth although they author does do a fair job of showing Kristin's self-centered nature. Her husband remains the plastic man, a foil against which her adultery is played out. Ron's motivations aren't explored. He's nothing more than a user of weak-willed, helpless females. Right.

<P>

The meagre characterizations, lack of plot and below average writing requires a low rating. Thank you for your effort.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Take no notice of the termite brained reviewers

Nice story, more please

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
dear author,

you forgot a few lines: "Kristin had just conquered the world and in her heart of heart, she will smile from here on throughout her life, to the very last day: my god, what a man that Ron and his future friends: I shall never be filled again until I am totally filled by him and his big and powerful friends. I love my husband to death, too, god, what an exciting life I am leading and I love every moment of it!" <p>

"There is no turning back." <p>

LOL

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Lower Crack Controling Upper Pie Hole

Gee - A reverse stroke job - perhaps in a second language but still crudely without coots.<P>

The zombies fuck and cuck the brainless weak man - I believe this has been done to death and here's another post mortem with femail submissive prejudice.<P>

An editor could help but not as much as a plausible theme where the characters aren't so offensively crude & unbelievable.

LustHoseLustHoseover 16 years ago
Concur with "Good Start"

This story has potential; the internet seduction is an interesting twist. Without question however, you need some editing help. Also, the paragraphs are WAAAAAY too long.

Keep trying.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
RAPE ! ! ! !

This was not a story about an innocent housewife that went cock crazy. It was about a man who manipulated the wife's husband with the promise of a job when he was down and out. He and his wife used both the husband and wife for their own enjoyment, but it was mainly for the rapist. Yes I said rapist because she said no and asked him to stop, yet he would not because he WANTED, not needed, to satisfy his savage lust. He should be sent to prison and let the word spread that he is a child molester. Inmates and guards have no respect of child molesters and it would be unforseen if he lived very long. If the author thinks that all women just want sex with a so called boss, then the author should learn about such things before writing about them.

melsdadmelsdadover 16 years ago
Great story to wank to

Don't take any notice of the self appointed critics who pretend to read these stories as if they seriously only do so, to find great writing. Just like me, they come in here to read stories, get aroused, then wank themselves stupid.

These are the kind of people who would have you believe they only buy Playboy for the articles, Yea Right! lol.

I loved your story, it was absolutely appropriate for this site. Please keep up your great work.

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Great Scenario

Great Scenario ... I really loved their attitudes and the whole concept of the story and the way to aproach their personallities toward their sexual behavoirs ( really liked it and enjoyed the sexual images you gave me. Thank You.

My only one concern ( asumming that in real life really exists people like Kristin and Ron ) is about the really difficult final plot scenario that you tried to build, when suddenly out of the blue and unexpectedly the husband decided to saty the night with this other gal. thats something hard to believe as a real possibility.

Anyway , I just loved and even have some drawing that I made about the kitcheb scene, if you are interested seeing it ( anyone ) please drop me a line or look for me at yahoo ( roggerbbit@yahoo.com )

AnonymousAnonymousover 16 years ago
Hot Erotic Story

This is a great hot story......seduction of a housewife.... i love that....

AnonymousAnonymousabout 15 years ago
Grammar is...

English and grammar need a bit more work on it. Plot was good but became a bit distorted towards the end. Keep trying.

digdaddyrichdigdaddyrichabout 15 years ago
With her being totally submissive she will be used

Her life as a housewife is over now. She is a fuck toy to a large cock man. Her husband will never be able to please her except when he cleans her lovers cum out of her well fucked pussy with his mouth and tongue. Good story Thanks for the trip....Rich

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
I agree

I agree with the comments that say you should not listen to the ones who think your story stinks,listen to the sickos that loved it.

Ducky7Ducky7almost 15 years ago
She fell alright

right into the plan to make her just another one of Ron's conquests. So just another slut is born.

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 15 years ago
don't

Do the world a favor and don't get married and have kids with the way your mind works your scary.

mudhentwomudhentwoalmost 14 years ago
Well done!

I enjoyed your story. I wish my wife would be as vulnerable to this kind of adventure.

DWornockDWornockalmost 13 years ago
"pussy getting even wetter"

Over some some old rough gross man. That is BS so, at that point, I stopped reading and rated it 1*.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
burn baby burn

You make me sick you fucking trash

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
another whore that doesnt respect marriage

she is worthless trash

cantbuymycantbuymyover 11 years ago
looks like

they both don't respect marriage, after all the husband is out fucking his new bosses wife. no longer a marriage.

AnonymousAnonymousover 11 years ago
This was sooooo accurate...NOT!

Women don't see a big cock and automatically drop to their knees because it is better. We don't swoon at the sight of a rigid dick that is bigger and thicker than our husbands. I had a boyfriend with a 9" cock and every time he slammed me it fucking HURT. And not the good kind. My husband is about 5 1/2 - 6 1/2 depending on how aroused he is and he makes me squirt. And DAMN, he can fuck for an hour.

So thanks; but no thanks. I'll stick with an average sized cock!

AnonymousAnonymousover 8 years ago
good

More in this series, pls!

AnonymousAnonymousover 7 years ago
Wife?

Iḿ sorry but I just couldn get into this story.. Was it about a deranged wife being controlled by her computer? Or was it a dream fuck that never ended? It doesn´t say. It does´t say anything about nothing. I think you need to go back, study and try to remember. When writing a story whether it be fact or fiction, make it believable. Don´t just ramble on throwing stuff in there. When interviewing real women you will find that the size of a cock doesn´t matter It´s how you use what you have that makes for good sex.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 7 years ago
Stupid

Stupid garbage, written poorly.....

trandall9991trandall9991almost 6 years ago
why

Would the couple want to destroy another couple? Hubby should wait until the wife is sleeping and go taser the bosses balls. Fuck this.

26thNC26thNCover 4 years ago
Innocent

Definitely the most innocent cheating whore that I've ever read abour. Also, this is one of the worst stories I've ever read.

AnonymousAnonymousabout 3 years ago

Awesome story!

It had me racing through it and the pace of her being fucked no doubt.

I'm hoping for a follow up where Laura gets her turn at the fuck slut.

The slut needs to be on the edge of one orgasm after another with the skills of these two.

And they're swingers so no doubting some well hung friends will enjoy her body once or twice.

Please write more as this was awesome but I feel not complete as I haven't cum yet!

iameaseliameaselover 2 years ago

That was the literary version of pissing fire.

Merely the average cuck crap, my poor loving husband just doesnt do it for me and this guy, like everyone finds, has a huge cock.

Its funny how far you gay men bury the truth about yourselves, and yet we can see it.

PorterrhPorterrhabout 2 years ago

Very poorly written , by someone I suspect is just learning the English language

redkathleenredkathleenabout 2 years ago

really needed to be proof read first.... poor english spoiled what was otherwise quite a good story

AnonymousAnonymousalmost 2 years ago

And then the husband caught them and divorced her. The end

AnonymousAnonymousabout 1 year ago

Loved it. I hope they is another part to confirm she really is his fuck toy.

Anonymous
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