by natalie_undie
another story where a wife acts as if she never got laid, but as far as we know she did....by her husband.
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<P> so why is she taking a lover, without caring about her marriage, her family, her husband - without caring about who gets hurt?
Good job of building the tension. But the paragraphs are way too long. Use dialogue to break up and then enhance the action.
Bob finds out, chops Ron's dick off and shoves it down his throat before covering him in kerosene and setting him on fire. He catches his whoring wife, takes her to the forrest and hangs her in a tree and guts her alive, much like a dead deer.......maybe even skins her alive first, yeah, she deserves it.
The writing here is bad with words misspelled, omitted and used incorrectly. Get an editor. Please.
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The storyline isn't much, a wife's descent into adultery for the usual reason: Big Cock Syndrome (boring). The characters are not well-developed. They're two-dimensional without depth although they author does do a fair job of showing Kristin's self-centered nature. Her husband remains the plastic man, a foil against which her adultery is played out. Ron's motivations aren't explored. He's nothing more than a user of weak-willed, helpless females. Right.
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The meagre characterizations, lack of plot and below average writing requires a low rating. Thank you for your effort.
you forgot a few lines: "Kristin had just conquered the world and in her heart of heart, she will smile from here on throughout her life, to the very last day: my god, what a man that Ron and his future friends: I shall never be filled again until I am totally filled by him and his big and powerful friends. I love my husband to death, too, god, what an exciting life I am leading and I love every moment of it!" <p>
"There is no turning back." <p>
LOL
Gee - A reverse stroke job - perhaps in a second language but still crudely without coots.<P>
The zombies fuck and cuck the brainless weak man - I believe this has been done to death and here's another post mortem with femail submissive prejudice.<P>
An editor could help but not as much as a plausible theme where the characters aren't so offensively crude & unbelievable.
This story has potential; the internet seduction is an interesting twist. Without question however, you need some editing help. Also, the paragraphs are WAAAAAY too long.
Keep trying.
This was not a story about an innocent housewife that went cock crazy. It was about a man who manipulated the wife's husband with the promise of a job when he was down and out. He and his wife used both the husband and wife for their own enjoyment, but it was mainly for the rapist. Yes I said rapist because she said no and asked him to stop, yet he would not because he WANTED, not needed, to satisfy his savage lust. He should be sent to prison and let the word spread that he is a child molester. Inmates and guards have no respect of child molesters and it would be unforseen if he lived very long. If the author thinks that all women just want sex with a so called boss, then the author should learn about such things before writing about them.
Don't take any notice of the self appointed critics who pretend to read these stories as if they seriously only do so, to find great writing. Just like me, they come in here to read stories, get aroused, then wank themselves stupid.
These are the kind of people who would have you believe they only buy Playboy for the articles, Yea Right! lol.
I loved your story, it was absolutely appropriate for this site. Please keep up your great work.
Great Scenario ... I really loved their attitudes and the whole concept of the story and the way to aproach their personallities toward their sexual behavoirs ( really liked it and enjoyed the sexual images you gave me. Thank You.
My only one concern ( asumming that in real life really exists people like Kristin and Ron ) is about the really difficult final plot scenario that you tried to build, when suddenly out of the blue and unexpectedly the husband decided to saty the night with this other gal. thats something hard to believe as a real possibility.
Anyway , I just loved and even have some drawing that I made about the kitcheb scene, if you are interested seeing it ( anyone ) please drop me a line or look for me at yahoo ( roggerbbit@yahoo.com )
This is a great hot story......seduction of a housewife.... i love that....
English and grammar need a bit more work on it. Plot was good but became a bit distorted towards the end. Keep trying.
Her life as a housewife is over now. She is a fuck toy to a large cock man. Her husband will never be able to please her except when he cleans her lovers cum out of her well fucked pussy with his mouth and tongue. Good story Thanks for the trip....Rich
I agree with the comments that say you should not listen to the ones who think your story stinks,listen to the sickos that loved it.
right into the plan to make her just another one of Ron's conquests. So just another slut is born.
Do the world a favor and don't get married and have kids with the way your mind works your scary.
I enjoyed your story. I wish my wife would be as vulnerable to this kind of adventure.
Over some some old rough gross man. That is BS so, at that point, I stopped reading and rated it 1*.
they both don't respect marriage, after all the husband is out fucking his new bosses wife. no longer a marriage.
Women don't see a big cock and automatically drop to their knees because it is better. We don't swoon at the sight of a rigid dick that is bigger and thicker than our husbands. I had a boyfriend with a 9" cock and every time he slammed me it fucking HURT. And not the good kind. My husband is about 5 1/2 - 6 1/2 depending on how aroused he is and he makes me squirt. And DAMN, he can fuck for an hour.
So thanks; but no thanks. I'll stick with an average sized cock!
Iḿ sorry but I just couldn get into this story.. Was it about a deranged wife being controlled by her computer? Or was it a dream fuck that never ended? It doesn´t say. It does´t say anything about nothing. I think you need to go back, study and try to remember. When writing a story whether it be fact or fiction, make it believable. Don´t just ramble on throwing stuff in there. When interviewing real women you will find that the size of a cock doesn´t matter It´s how you use what you have that makes for good sex.
Would the couple want to destroy another couple? Hubby should wait until the wife is sleeping and go taser the bosses balls. Fuck this.
Definitely the most innocent cheating whore that I've ever read abour. Also, this is one of the worst stories I've ever read.
Awesome story!
It had me racing through it and the pace of her being fucked no doubt.
I'm hoping for a follow up where Laura gets her turn at the fuck slut.
The slut needs to be on the edge of one orgasm after another with the skills of these two.
And they're swingers so no doubting some well hung friends will enjoy her body once or twice.
Please write more as this was awesome but I feel not complete as I haven't cum yet!
That was the literary version of pissing fire.
Merely the average cuck crap, my poor loving husband just doesnt do it for me and this guy, like everyone finds, has a huge cock.
Its funny how far you gay men bury the truth about yourselves, and yet we can see it.
Very poorly written , by someone I suspect is just learning the English language
really needed to be proof read first.... poor english spoiled what was otherwise quite a good story
Loved it. I hope they is another part to confirm she really is his fuck toy.