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All Comments on 'Kyle and Mandy's Pool Day'
by babyred99
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- 4 Comments
Anonymousabout 7 years agoToo many typos
Proof read before posting. Have someone help you. Typos slow down the reading flow.
Who is Cole? Mandy's brother, husband or boyfriend??
Good try...needs work.
Not sure if this is in the right category.
Anonymousabout 7 years ago.
Arrrg. Your story was pretty good, but it was supremely annoying that your grammer went down the toilet right at the good part. Totally ruins the mood to have to translate what you mean from what you wrote. Go back and edit it.
Other than that, pretty good. I love stories involving sleep play.
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