All Comments on 'Lady in Red Ch. 12'

keep it coming and faster please

You sure do know how to tell a story. Ya get 5 again.

Well told and just a fun old fashion barn burner.

Wow! Great, well written, and fast moving. My eyes were blurry by the end of the chapter. Those kids are mature beyond their years. Loved it!

Thank you for writing and sharing your stories!

Excellent writing. Fast paced, very entertaining and won't let you go until you finish the chapter; then leave you waiting impatiently for the next chapter.

In the first posting, you talked about a need to suspend belief.

Is see nothing yet, even the presence of the president, that is unbelievable compared to the best writers.

W.E.B. Grifith, Tom Clancey and other have even wilder fiction.

I am enjoying your work.

I will add a calander appointment to come back and look for more "Lady in Red" postings.

Did you know that Robert Heinlein first published one of his novels in serial form in the Boy Scout monthly magazine?

I enjoyed several of your short stories,

I hope you have several other novels.

5* Just love the way it rips along!

Regards

Mr Wolf

so over the top but so FANTASTIC!!!!!

Oh god, I haven't laughed so much in a long time. It's absolutely ridiculous but i'm loving it. WE ARE SPARTA!

Dude really the dialogue in this story is terrible

Love the story and love when there's like a twist like this to spice up the story

But wat I read was a pep rally for a mass shooting

Seriously hav someone edit your story

Wat a waste

"He quickly patted the body down and found a deadly looking knife in a sheath on the man's hip. He pulled the knife, looked at the wires and immediately severed a green one. Steve slid the knife between his belt and his pants."

When you pat down the body of a suicide bomber, isn't there a chance you will pat the trigger? Oops, my ba . . .(BOOM)

Too bad it wasn't a friendly looking knife. Deadly looking ones really scare me.

And glad to see the suicide bomber was following the NEC bomb wiring color codes. Wouldn't want any improperly wired suicide bombs, would we.

Steve might have wanted to keep the deadly looking knife in its sheath, and slid that in his pants. An unsheathed knife stuck in you pants is kind of dangerous when you bend over, or fall. Oh, right, Steve NEVER falls. And he only bends over when he is taking Tim's cock. How long are you going to keep that a secret?

IDIOT!!! @anon 2/12/15, showing the world you are insensitive even if for a ficticious story, get a life MORON!

there is no middle ground

just like the comments, one extreme or the other

This is Sparta!

And so am I. Love it to bits.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Terrorism_in_the_United_States

Count how many people Iraqis killed in the US. Don't worry, you may overestimate by a 100%. Heck, 200% for all I care. Can't be more than ten, right?

Now guestimate how many Iraqis were killed during the same time. Lately often by drones when suddenly dead rains down from the sky. Collateral damage as it's euphemisticly called.

Maybe, but looking at the reactions to previous comments, I can very well understand the necessity for anonymity.

Cheers, buddy.

This stretches credibility so far beyond believability that it should be in a new story category - satire.

The story said they spoke Farsi. While a small population of Iraqis speak Farsi it is the dominant language in Iran.

YET ANOTHER SLIVER OF A CHAPTER.

... how he mind works. It can be completely involved in the excitement and emotion of the story and at the same time appalled by the incredible naiveté of the writer.

As usual this story is full of flaws,eg how did Steve know there were four terrorists in the hall when the doors were closed.

Sittin' on the edge of my seat, tense as the drama unfolds.

To heck with realism -- give us the exciting drama.

Gwen's on-camera, live nationwide report and plea had me holding back tears -- for something that only exists as keystrokes in cyberworld. That's writing!

Paul in Oklahoma

PS on a minor point. A new paragraph, properly, starts a new speaker. But, who? I have to stop reading, skip to the end of the paragraph, note whose talking, go back to find my place to resume reading. Introducing the speaker before he opens his mouth, would not make the plot better or the storytelling better; it would just smooth the way for us readers.

What a load of bollocks.

Is Steve the reincarnation of Emerson from In my Life?.Also as usual the story is full of flaws,eg how did Steve know how many bombers there were,the gym door was closed.

Well done HDK. A rollicking yarn and soap opera in one. It is well constructed, well written and rolls along at an interesting pace. I wonder what else could happen next?

As pointed out ,this story is full of flaws,another being Laura just happened tho have at her fingertips the numbers of ten doctors who could answer the phone immediately and have the time to stay on and give advice,get real.Even fictional stories must be based on facts.more

Why didn't Steve ask Tyler to open the door slowly so he had more time to kill the terrorists before they realised what was happening and it would also give him a bit of cover.As for the phone messages to and from Laura what a load of hogwash.

Has someone as already posted,what a load of bollocks.

On the previous chapter you posted that you weren't going to read any more of this story, but you are still able to comment on it? How does that work?

Jealousy is an awful emotion. Perhaps it's time for you to go home and tell Mommy all about it.

Maybe she can help with your struggle to imagine a nickname for yourself?

It’s so over the top I can’t stop reading it will he be the first man to kill osama Ben ladins successor single handed will he be president of the world will defuse a nuclear bomb with a ball point pen and a paper clip will she find the cure for cancer and will he give her 12 orgasms with his 12 inch super phallus on prom night can’t wait to find out lol in the story of this is Sparta lol

Emergency plans well laid up and rehearsed. Emotional throughout.

Sadly it is not foreign terrorists killing innocent school children but out own demented home grown monsters.

I believe 100% in the second amendment but there is no reason that a teenager who can’t buy smokes or beer should be able to buy any kind of firearm he desires.

For those of you commenting about “over the top,” it took me reading almost the entire two series before I got it - these stories are an un-illustrated series of comic books. Once you get that, the stories make sense.

Steve took them out fast, but Billy's and Jared's bravery aren't far behind (although Steve killed 'em all). Gripping and quite the emotional plea from Gwen to get blood donated quickly. 5

This was the best part of this Story so far .. Keep up the good work . 5 Stars

Great stuff

5/5

I’m such a sucker for this story. Do I like it? Sometimes. Do I hate it? Sometimes. But the author has put together a great bunch of characters that makes me NOT want to put this story down. Damn him.

Wasn't Governer o'malley Governer Leary ? After all his daughter is Amber Leary

You sure know how to write a tear jerker !

I cant imagine Biden being at the scene of you know the thing

Honestly, with the soap opera/comic/"over the top" construction of the story, I am starting to wonder if the "Walldorf"-like anon who is repeatedly commenting below and on the other chapters (and with a real long breath, some of those comments are a year appart each pair), isn't HDK himself with his own version of "breaking through the fourth wall"... (somewhere, HDK is even reacting to the anon, would that be "breaking through the ceiling" then?!? ;-) )

On the story itself, I am reading it for the third time, hoping for book 4 to come one day (@HDK?!? ;-) ), and even though there are some elements I do not like, I am still enjoying myself immensely, so 5/5...

This author can sustain nail biting, spine chilling terror, drama and suspense as good as any modern American writer.