All Comments on 'Lapdancing Girlfriend Ch. 04'

This chapter is an example on how a story can take on a whole new life unto itself. I originally was planning on this being a one chapter story; however, based upon the reception of Ch. 01, began writing Ch. 02. For Ch. 04 I thought of the basic plot writing Ch. 02, but not in its published form—the plot and story took on a life unto itself.

SPOILER ALERT – If you have not read through all of the chapters (including 04), stop now or the story may be spoiled for you.

Although I had planned on Jen and Dan making an attempt at retaliation upon Chuck, it was going to be a simple sting operation with Vice, which would not necessarily go as planned; however, as the story progressed, I got the idea of the company being more of an organized crime syndicate, involving the FBI. Then as I started typing, I wondered how she could “convince” them she would be willing to work for them—so was born her liaison with Agent Geiger.

After writing that scene, I thought about her having a wiretap, but being she was a stripper, how would she be able to hide the surveillance equipment? So I began thinking of gadgets she could possibly utilize, so thought of the jewelry. The the tattoo idea came to me hearing about it a year ago, but was going to be just a brief mention of her getting it; however, again as I typed, her being felt up by another agent took me off on yet another tangent.

And then the final scene with her with the branch chief…completely unplanned, but it just sort of fit and was altogether spontaneous.

I would say 50% of the story developed as I wrote the chapter, LOL, so yeah, this chapter took a life unto itself as I wrote it. Hope you like it, and there are a few more surprises planned in future chapters!

But ive got to say this and the ann series are my top two erotic series EVER soooo thanks and as always more more more

I only little. the first 6 to 9 pages are for kids at lawschool. then the plot got even more unrealistic. not the usual "happy" fun , no just fucking long. I'm really sorry for all the work I appreciate you do. the fucking scenes are good or the best here but the rest ... far to long instead of 2 or 3 or even 4 chapters.

I guess her loosing herself in sexual bliss could have been made with less drastic facts and maybe there could have been something for the guy too.

Doc: This story took a completely different direction than I expected.

Your story line has taken on an adult version of a police crime story.

Undercover stripper and her boyfriend help the FBI take down a criminal enterprise.

I think it’s a great idea and look forward to many more chapters.

signed Bill 5 stars *****

OK so I LOVE all your stories! And while I did rate this one a five something did not sit well with me. So I re read it 2 or 3 times, looking for it. Maybe there was not enough humiliation and she gave in a little too willing? I kept thinking that might have been it…(and it still might be to a degree but you said it s a set up chapter so …. I can let that fly)

Then it hit me…. I was re reading the same story 2 or 3 times within the story. I can see multiple view points of the same scene here and there but I think you went a little over board in this one. I don’t need to read the same scene detail for detail from Diamond’s, Dan’s, and Agent Gieger’s POV ….Maybe that’s just me but I think if I was your editor of this story that would be my main suggestion. Cut out some of the superfluous POVs and if you need to get their thoughts about that event there are other ways to do it.

The strengths of your stories have been the turmoil humiliation, emotions, and sexual awaking the protagonist and her significant other go through. You started to shy away from that with other view points. Maybe that’s why I don’t feel as strongly about this chapter as I do the first 3 (1 and 3 being the best)

It is always difficult to determine what people like. Personally I thought Ch. 03 was one of my worst chapters, I did not have a good feeling about it, and of the Lapdancing series, it so far is the most favored and highest vote. I felt good about Ch. 04. Can't please everybody I guess.

I personally write for myself, but it's always nice when others comment (good or bad) on the stories. I am sorry many seem to not like this chapter.

In terms of the different views of the same scenes, I am trying to flesh out a couple more characters, as they may be pivotal in future chapters. Also, I attempted to show the subtle differences between what Jen was experiencing and others were thinking without knowing her own thoughts. Not sure I failed at that or was too subtle. For example, when Dan notices the box of Kleenex not in the same place, it is odd what some people think of in times of stress.

In this series I am trying not to make it a pure sex stories...I have others that are more along those lines. Another difference is instead of letting it sit for a month or so, I succumbed to the pressure of releasing it earlier than usual. The next story may be a while as I regroup and figure out which series to write and post next...

I only have two issues with this chapter. The first is how quickly she has become a willing slut, even when there is no form of coercion or seduction. The second is the repetition. The multiple POVs was a nice idea, but repeating the entire (or almost the entire) act, some parts word for word, hurt it.

That being said, I always look forward to your stories. Even your worst (which this is far from), is better then many others bests. Can't wait to see the next chapter in this and Annie.

Have really enjoyed the whole series. I agree with previous comment about the POV repetition. Found myself skipping over those sections while reading, and that's not something I do with your stories. I also thought the lovely Diamond/Jen dichotomy that was there before broke down a bit. Before there was alcohol/drugs to break her down, now it was just the unified Jen/Diamond being slutty. That could be her path, but the villain is more villainous if he's the one who breaks her down...not her own character "defect."

All that said, I love "descent" stories and this continues one of the best of those series. Would have given a 4.5 if available, so gave it a 5 after rounding up. Keep em coming.

I really enjoyed Chapter 3, and was looking forward to more of Jenn/Diamond's work as a "spokesmodel", and everything that may entail. The unexpected turn of events were a little off-putting, but I enjoyed the story nevertheless. The left-turn into a detective story/undercover (or "uncovered") girl did remind me of one of my own stories :) minus the silliness.

I think what drew me to Chapter 3 was Jenn/Diamond's slow, enjoyable slide into depravity, without having to think too much about what that deparvity might entail. Chapter 4 was still a sexual fantasy, but brought th reader down to earth about the reality of her situation, and how it may be pleasureable for us to watch but perhaps not so much for her.

Still, some good writing. I thought the POV thing was a little odd, I didn't want to re-read something I'd already read, but you pulled if off a lot better than some other stories.

Hope to read Part 5 sometime soon.

I have been reading literotica since 10 years and it has been one of my daily basic needs. i am not stretching the fact if i am telling you that i know the stories in and out. of hundreds of authors i have read you are easily in my top 3.

you know exactly how to write eroticism. you know the exact buttons to push while detailing your story. I am certain that you enjoy as much as us while writing these sensuous chapters. probably in the last few months i have checked your stories for the 4th part of lapdancing girfriend. i was afraid that u would post it late. but it came at appropriate time. you certainly nailed what you wanted in this story.

you brought the relation between the cop and Jen to a very sensuous mode that their scenes nearly pulled my breath away. even the episode with Vogel was intense. and you really know how to get the elaborate description prior to the sex scene work. though it is a bit tedious, the result is just worth it. but i would recommend that u can trim the parts like her dancing for the team and even in the second chapter her dancing for the construction guys did a little harm to the spirit of the story.

it would be nice to limit your characters as too many of them would spoil it. the romantic traingle of jen greiger chuck in aspect of the fiance would be relishing and i look forward to this element in your upcoming episodes. i read your other stories though they are good this is more rewarding. i hope u will come up the next chapter soon. Will be looking out for it. and THANK U.

One point I'd like to focus on is some people stating Diamond gives in too easily or too quickly. One thing I wanted to avoid is the similarities between Diamond and Annie in my other series. Annie is the reluctant one, the "girl next door" becoming a sex object. Diamond has been a stripper for years, so is used to the adult oriented nature of her job. Although she had not given in, at this point she has her back to the wall--the contract, her own psychological issues, surrounded by dominant men not afraid to demand what they want. She has to give in sometime...she has signed into the world of a porn star, and I tried to relay at the very beginning of the chapter she is accepting that. She may see little "lights at the end of the tunnel" but ultimately they all lead to her having to spread her legs.

Although reluctant mentally, she is not going to show it. In addition, the POV's are showing how she is acting based upon the circumstances--particularly in front of Dan versus alone. Alone she is less inhibited, more exhibitionist and willing to let things go as far as they will, while she is more reserved with Dan around. This sets the stage for the next week where she is going to be more alone without Dan and why she will act the way she will.

At some point, she has to give in and in this Chapter, she has reached that point...not to say she will not show some reluctance in future chapters, but I don't want to give away anything else for future chapters ;)

Loved Ch. 04 and caution my fellow readers to not confuse emphasis with redundancy. Rarely does an author convey the entire thought patterns of characters directly and indirectly involved in a scene. It is an arduous task to write in that style but well worth it. Imagine watching a film that was recorded with just one camera angle, depth and range and never including cut- aways or flashbacks. Knowing what each character was thinking before they acted gave the reader the whole story. You know what happened but also why each character acted the way they did. Without this technique one would assume that Geiger and his peers are rapist cops, Dan a cuck and Jenn/Diamond a psycho slut.

Speaking of which, Jenn/Diamond is a complicated character that can't be labeled as a whoring slut or a weak kneed submissive. Like anyone, she is subject to her emotions, primitive urges, demands of others and her immediate environment's morals. DocCis has been masterful at identifying and explaining who she is from past and present experiences. But he has also skillfully emphasized the ever changing demands and morals pressed upon her by a host of others. A loving and loyal girlfriend stripper with some submissive tendencies and emotional problems who sought professional help in the past. She is then drugged, blackmailed and coerced to cheat and becoming chattel for the club. Seeking a legal remedy has only made her a pawn of law enforcement. Personally I am rooting for the boys in blue and hoping Geiger gets her at least a few more times. Same goes for Vogel, Nick and even Mr. Lee for surrendering his jacket. But i digress.

Jenn/Diamond is neither slut nor submissive, like her author she is simply trying to please everyone at the same time and I hope to be reading about it for along time.

Dear author, please post the next part soon. can't really wait to see what happens later. Jen Geiger chemistry is over the top. Chuck's dominance over Jen is also something I am looking forward to. Waiting for the next episode with bated breath. Your fan.

Would realy like to see geiger be a lot kinkier with her. Maybe end up being the dom in her life after the case is closed. He should put a serious cucking on her fiance.

Thank you everybody for your comments...whether praise or criticism I read and take into account all.

Haven't had time for Ch. 05 or any of my stories lately due to RL matters, but plan on sequels for everything...even poor Annie who has been left alone for a year now. ;)

Excellent. I can't wait for the annie comeback. I hope it will be very slutty and kinky. May be the boys could blackmail her in school, forcing her to wear sexy outfit, with stockings, short skirt, collar, even cuff and leash during lunch time...

This is by far my favourite series on lit. I would give it 10 stars if i could. I've been checking every day for an update on when we can expect the next chapter. Hope its not too long!!

Hehehe, thanks for the feedback from everybody, both private and public.

I have started (finally) Ch. 05...I spent all of Sunday (10/07/2012) working on it and so far have about 1-2 Literotica pages done...and she has only gotten off the plane!!!! LOL, I'm probably going to breeze through a lot of the generic "corporate" stuff, but I need some of that so people cool down a little between each hot scene. Just off the airport and she has been fingered by two separate people, had sex with one person, and been felt up by at least 5...Diamond is a busy gal! ;)

Hoping I have time, but really, my only time is weekends, and if I'm not in the mood to write, I write shitty, and I know people won't like it. As it stands, it's looking probably early Nov. for this next chapter...but then again, I could have my Muse bite me in ass and end up writing it all in the next week...hard to say.

Again thanks to everybody for the feedback...it does keep me going, so keep it coming!

I can't wait for the next chapter. This is the hottest story on this site!!

HOLY SHIT!!! I have been a member of this site for over six years....have some favorite writers and stories but DocCIS just jumped to the head of my list....this is the BEST story series I have read in a LOOOOONG TIME.......can hardly wait for the next chapters to come along

Thanks, and much appreciated.

Been busy writing Chapter 5, so I'm hoping "soon" although I'm not expecting it until around US Thanksgiving due to time. Hope it will be earlier, but don't want to rush things, but definitely appreciate the feedback!

Oh my god! This is the best series i've ever read. C'mon doc you gotta give us more!!

Amazing story hope the next one comes out soon.!!

Seriously.... Best story I've found on this site....

"Annie Babysits" rocks, but this one.... Wow.......

I can understand a few of the comments regarding seemingly re-reading the same thing from differing POV's, but still, I used to rarely check this site...

Now I check YOUR story listings EVERY day, just crossing my fingers for a new chapter!! ;-)

Thank you for the time you've spent, and spend, on this...

It is MUCH appreciated....

Thank you everybody for your comments. I AM busy on Chapter 05, and I update my profile at least once a month with updates on all the stories. As I mentioned on that, once I get chapter 05 out, I will be returning to get a chapter of Annie out. It's been well over a year since she was going to house-sit for the boys, and it's about time we read about it!

Lapdancing has a total of at least 11 chapters to it...it may even be longer as a few chapters may evolve into more than a chapter, but I definitely want to get it finished. Annie and my other stories are pretty open-ended, so I took on Lapdancing as something with an ending I could get to, although it's slowly growing into something more, but appreciate all the comments, good and bad!

its a really great story, i love the amount of detailed descriptions.

a hot scene in a foam party would be wonderful! :)

Oh my god - what a story!

By far the best I have read in a long time. Normaly I don't read the very long stories, but I can only tell you - this one I just can't put away!

The story reminds me very much of another story, 'Recession Blues', by Stormbringer. In many ways I think it could almost have been a sequel to that great story - starting of where Stormbringer left us hanging :-)

I read your comment about bringing more reluctance into the story, and I completely understand your reasoning - but in my opinion just a little bit more would add a very intoxicating element to an already smoking stroyline ;-)

Now - back to the reading....

Any sign of the next part??

This has the makings of a good storyline but I have a lot of experience with strip clubs and I have to say casual sex is 24/7 married or not. And if a guy throws the cash around he'll make a lot of pretty friends for the evening. And Vogel is right, when the boss says jump you don't ask how high. Most of these girls are just trying to pay car and rent payments. They learn a lot of bad habits along the way and unfortunatly the all grow old.

Unfortunately still no ETA on the next chapter. Work has picked up again and I haven't even been able to relax on a weekend let alone have time to devote to working on any stories. I am hoping things slack off a bit over the next few weeks to have the time, but sadly, I haven't touched Chapter 05 since Xmas :(

@ Anon above, yes, I completely understand about some of the girls who dance. I dated a dancer a while back and when your job is selling the fantasy of sex, many things are taken for granted most people do not. That's not to say girls who dance willing spreads her legs, LOL...I am NOT stereotyping dancing girls like that, merely saying they are more open in terms of their comfort level when it comes to casual sex than a girl not exposed to that life. Some of the girls I knew were very straight-laced and one was even a 24-year-old virgin (God's honest truth) and yet she danced like she was a pro, LOL. Some of what I write about is based upon my relationship with them...

Again, hope to have some time in the next few weeks. My long-term goal is by the end of February, but this being a hobby, I first need the time away from work, family, and real life before I can spend some time on writing :/

This is the BEST story. Pls can we have the next installment! Ken

Ch. 05 is starting to come alone nicely...in fact, I posted a teaser on my blog ;)

I read your blog, but dont have an account to post there. But I want to tell you that it is very difficult to read long chapters like this on and the pending Ch 5. I think it is a mistake to post a 20 page story covering a week when you can release them as seperate stories for each day. Write them all together if you must for continuity purposes. But release them one at a time over two week intervals. That also bridges the gap to your next story.

Unfortunately you seem to be the in the minority. In fact, you are only the second person to voice in favor of breaking up the chapter versus posting it all at once. I can see both sides of the issue...but going to go with the majority and release it all together. For those that want short stories and haven't spoken up, each day is broken up with identifiable markers (****) so you know where you broke off if you only want to read one day at a time.

I had the same issue with Annie Ch. 03, and split it up and got a whole bunch of negative replies saying I should have kept it all together for continuity and such. And as I said, you so far are in the minority compared to the literal dozens of replies I've had to release a single chapter :/

I have enjoyed reading all the chapter so far and have no complaints about their length or the various POVs which I like.

I have to agree with some of the other comments about Jen giving in too easily. She has felt under pressure (and possibly drugged) with her Boss and felt she neede to prove herself with the FBI Agents, However, if we are to believe in her as a basically good girl who'd like to stay true to her Fiance it is hard to see how chapter 5 will keep us sympathising with her predicament in light of the well-written episode when she is brought to orgasm while being tattood, for instance.

If she was less slutty we would see that being forced to make porn films would be really traumatic for her but the Jen we have come to know will probably take it in her stride and any number of cocks in her pussy.

Looking forward to the next chapter.

The thing to remember about Jen/Diamond is first she has been a stripper and has been involved with the adult entertainment industry for a while. Also, her past history has involved hyper-sexualism which also plays a part in her giving in to some of what is happening to her. The drugs and such have tipped her over the edge, but in the end, she is finding she enjoys the sexual experiences.

The primary struggle within her is not that she does not enjoy the sex, but that she DOES enjoy it...while she is still in love with Dan and struggles not to betray him. She feels she should be fighting more, but her body's reactions cause the turmoil. She cannot say no given the predicament she is in with her contract as well as trying to assist the FBI, so it is either be forced, or take a path of least resistance.

So she is reluctant yes, but her body's reactions overcome her mind's morals as she tries to come to grips with what is going on around her. The drugs, alcohol, and other things merely keep her confused and allow things to happen easier.

In Ch. 05 she give in even more, but there are some reasons explained both in previous chapters as well as how things occur in Chapter 05 to explain some of her allowance of things.

It is why the stories are in not in the Nonconsent/Reluctance category. If she is forced, I want her to realize she like sit more than she should and although reluctant, gives in if that makes any sense...

In the end, it is all fantasy, and although I am trying to make things believable, some things are a bit more "open" for how the plot should advance...

Thanks for the comments!

Thanks for replying to my previous comments.

As an old Romantic I hope you will be able to end the series with Jen and Dan still together.

I'm not going to give anything away, hehehe...but it will be an interesting journey ;)

Be sure to check my blog once and a while as well...I try to keep everybody up to date on progress, add teasers, and such (URL in profile)

I read your blog so I know that the next chapter is going to be posted very soon. I honestly can't wait! !

The reason why long stories are dreaded is that it does not let you enjoy the good parts. Take for instance the scene where Diamond gets down on her knees and we learn that she can't say no and never could. That is a moment that can be enjoyed for a month. Its like putting a tub of ice cream out when just a cone is what is needed. It would be more enjoyable to see release of one day a week, rather than the whole week all at once. Its like comparing a fine film to Transformers. Lots of explosions, but nothing that stays with you.

True. All of my stories are pre-planned in terms of chapters and such in an outline. I know for a fact Annie will have 13 chapters, that Lapdancing will have 11 chapters, even my Director Jekyll story and Dreams have their future chapters laid out.

What I do NOT plan is how long those chapters will be. I come up with how I want the general plot to go, but as I start writing, other scenes come and go in my mind and I just do what "fits" in my mind.

I knew Lapdancing 05 would be long, but not how long. I would say over half the chapter was written 'on the fly' without any pre-planning...it just came out as I wrote.

But Chapter 5 in its entirety flows much nicer than each day...as each day builds upon the previous ones. In terms of Diamond's experiences and advancement of the plot, the only way it could be complete is as it is now, covering the entire week. I received a ton of criticism splitting Annie Ch. 03 up into 3 parts, so was hesitant to even offer the possibility of doing that with Lapdancing 05. After asking for input on my blog, the final vote from everybody was keeping it together.

As one person commented, if people want to take a break reading it, there's nothing compelling them from doing so, hehehe.

Never! No way this contract could be binding and evoke any payments.

Love this story, but it is toooo long to actually enjoy it.

If you think this chapter is long, wait until you get to Chapter 05! :p

I've never read anything like this before, you're a Master in this style, truly awesome

Thanks! Although each series is different, be sure to check them out...although Lapdancing Girlfriend seems to be the most liked. Also be sure to check my blog (URL in profile) for story updates, teasers and whatnot!

Thanks for all the time and effort you put into your writing. Love the way you bring the thoughts and feelings of the major characters into the story. Your descriptions make it like we too are watching her actions.

Thank you for the kind words! You can keep track of where I am with each of my stories and what's going on in general on my blog (URL in profile). Glad you enjoy the stories!

I just signed up to Literotica because some moron keep leaving stupid comments to this author. Last time I left a comment anonymously praising the author and who ever this idiot is keep saying that this author is leaving positive comments for himself. I left that comment because I fucking enjoyed the story! I don't understand the mind of such a person. Waiting for someone to leave a comment and copy-paste his same stupid comment over and over. He or she probably need to find a job.

And for DocCIS another good story! Now it feels like I know Dan and Jen personally. Whatever the end of this story is I hope it's not a sad one. Keep up the good work!

Thank you for the comments, much appreciated. And I hope you enjoy Chapter 05. Chapter 06 will be coming "soon"...definitely in 2014, LOL...although some people doubt my ETA's ;)

As to the spammer, he has once again been reported to the admins so his posts will be disappearing shortly...probably along with his IP being banned, so don't worry about it.

The funny thing is why such people feel the need to keep reading and posting. If you don't like a story, don't read it...plain and simple. But the anonymity of the internet is his friend...although I'm sure he'll soon find he is not so anonymous when his IP is banned from the site! :p

I hate when some author tries to make his fantasy story more credible by manufacturing some stupid legal contract.Any such contract would be completely unenforceable, particularly because it is compelling illegal behavior, and no such contract can ever be valid.

I suggest using veiled threats of violence. At least someone can suspend their disbelief to accept that form of compulsion, but you'd have to be a moron to believe there is any way to enforce a contract that requires illegal behavior...

I'm sorry you did not enjoy the story, but I'm sure you'll find more realism elsewhere on the site ;)

Hooked since the first chapter. I've been craving for a story just like this. Hoping to find one as a video but have had no luck. Wish porn movies were as hot as this story. Personally find parts of the story take too long to get to the point and the recap of previous chapters are kind of unneeded. Unless you've haven't read the previous chapter but why would you do that?! Unfortunately there are many more chapters to come and it will suck having to wait. Honestly hoping for a unhappy ending...

Appreciate the comments and praise!

The main reason I reiterate some of the previous chapters is I know how long it takes for me to get a chapter out (in my Annie story's case, well over 2 years!) so try to do a recap for people to catch up on. Probably unneeded as after that long, people read the previous chapters over anyways, but it's become a habit for me.

I DO try to put a divider though between the recaps so if people are reading the entire series they can easily skip it...

Again, thanks!

Still come back to this chapter. It's my favorite of the series. When you finally get around to finishing it, I'd definitely buy it if you made it into a book.

Repeating every scene from 2 or 3 or 4 points of view really makes the story drag. There is not enough personal insight from the different viewpoints to make them worth stretching the already long story out more.

The rerun scenes get boring enough to make you skip ahead pages at a time to try and move the story along. This chapter has about 15 pages that don't advance the plot or give significant new insight. The whole FBI show was far fetched and pointless.

That being said, I like the story enough to try and finish it, but am almost dreading the 40 pages coming up.