All Comments on 'Late Coming Home...'

You can obviously write. In your effort to creat something intense you have created something harsh. Word choice, tone of voice, thought and action, at each choice you went dark. It will appeal to many who like that sharp edge. For others it is too much. Sexy as hell or ugly as hell, I doubt there will be much middle ground.

Stay true to yourself as a writer and keep at it.

Agree with previous comment, there is not a word of any shred of affection from him to her. She could have been involved in an accident in desperation to get home in time. This appears more as an abusive relationship.

Thanks for the comments. I was pretty pissed when I wrote it and I understand what you mean about making the darker choice each time. Rereading it, um, yeah, I guess I was pretty pissed. That was a bad week. More coming.

Well then Thunder, I hope writing this was cathartic for your crappy week. ;)

Will watch for what you do in the future.

I understand what the others are saying but for rough punishment "grudge" fucking I was right with you. Perhaps if you expressed that his anger was from worry of missing his pet, that loss of control for him, in the beginning then it might smooth over the "dark choices" later. The ending showed affection as best as they both could which is fine for some couples (yes him saying that and her loving the clean-up is afftection for some). But with the dark use of tension, a bit of soft kissing or holding even after clean-up would have go a long way for some readers.