All Comments on 'Late Night Phone Calls'

It could have been a five but you really telegraphed the twist long before the reveal.

But very well constructed with a clean, concise style, and quite entertaining. Thanks. *****

a little dry but pretty good

Good story but,

Stretching it that the wife would murder two people because she was so against cheating and husband would ignore it?????

So some of us guessed who the killer was? Big deal! It was still a good story.

How about some "from the file of stories" in the Non-Erotic section of Literotica?

I'm sure he's seen some interesting cases and I'd like to read them.

Yes, it was quite obvious before the "big reveal" at the end.

Minor point - why all the difficulty identifying the lover? Wasn't his wallet at the scene? I realize it was probably an alias, but it still should have given them A name.

Then revealing that the cop's wife is a stone cold murderer? Damn dude!. It's cool to just go around murdering everyone you think is immoral? Not on my block. Were I a man, and married to this woman, I'd be afraid to go home every day. She might whack me for not putting the toilet paper on the way she liked. Murder porn, enjoyed by the angry.

Sorry guys, didn't set things right to allow anon comments.

Just remember yall, it's free fiction hoping to bring you just a few minutes of enjoyment.

Don't go nuts.

Don't let the anions say otherwise. This had all the right elements and a twist. Nice job.

Gave 5 stars, I like it obviously. So, about the wife and her shotguning. I couldn't see her doing that just because she hated cheaters. I kept thinking you were going to reveal something about Helen that would tie it all together. That was the only stumble that I saw. Keep up the good work

Pappy

The Detective's wife was the primary suspect from the jump as far as I was concerned. However, I will admit I thought she did it because SHE'D been having a steady diet of Canadian Bacon and didn't take kindly to being two-timed. I've seen that plot device several times in other stories.

That said, I can't really praise the swerve since it didn't make nearly as much sense as the "cheater scorned" angle. Double homicide over something that was none of her business? Suspension of disbelief only goes so far. Maybe I'd buy it if it was at least hinted at that the wife was prone to psychotic behavior, and this wasn't the first time the Detective had either looked the other way or even outright covered up her crimes.

One can sleep beside a cold blooded murderer? Why? Was she jealous about Canadian Bacon? I need an explanation of motive. Well written, otherwise, it could go a bit more.

His wife was just disgusted that her friend was a cheating slut, so she killed her and her fuck toy? I just can't understand why you ditched, or even missed, the most plausible and obvious motive: The detectives wife killed her friend because her friend was fucking HER lover! So she killed her lover too, in a jealous rage.

I just wonder what made you choose not to follow that most obvious plot and motive. Nice punt.

I guess I must be a little slow. I didn't get it until the end. I loved the story. Thanks!

How will he be able to live with Helen?

Now spending 24/7 with her. Is she going to lose it when he does something that is offensive to her and she decides to fix him once and for all,lol!!

Good story gldngolfer. Gave you 4*s.

Thanks👏👏

AMerryman

Murder and mayham always belong in fetish.Try to remember that...

The cops wife was the killer, sorry but I thought it was stupid. Up until then I thought the reason was novel, not 1 I had heard of before, but really his wife. Not for me I'm afraid

Saw it coming since page 2. Great. His wife is a psychotic killer.

Wife discovers a former friend is cheating. Sees them making out in public, goes to the house, gets all one fry short of a Happy Meal and shot-guns them both. Blows dude's head off and empties the skank's chest.

Stay tuned! Next week, she goes after the kids down the street who are downloading pirated movies with a fire-ax! Jaywalker beheaded with a katana in episode three. Good stuff, baby! Freddy Kruger is so last week.

Being retired and present law enforcement, loved the story.

Kiddo

Nailed it.

This story only works for me if wifey had been screwing Canadian Bacon as well.

Or else had discovered her husband was screwing the murdered wife, as in the book "Presumed Innocent".

The idea she shotgunned two people in mere moral outrage over cheating is just - literally - insane. And husband knowing it and then staying with her is also literally insane. What would happen to him if she ever merely THOUGHT he was having an affair? Or left the seat up?

It was her? No motive and nothing to place her at the scene or even being involved.

Liked story quite a lot, but I agree with other comments that wife not likely to blow 2 people away without more personal connection between her and one of the characters, most likely the male lover. I think adding in wife's motives would have been even better twist to story.

Telegraphed like Samuel Morse.

"I hate cheaters" is only a motive for murder if you are the jilted spouse or a sociopath. The cop's acceptance of her crime isn't believable.

I agree with @ justbobkc...She killed savagely two people for a very weak reason...And that made the story go to a low level...2*

And even though we knew well before the end it was the wife,it was a twist. The bad part is if Helen killed Beverly it would mean she was a psycho ( kind of like Kathleen Turner in 'psycho mom'), and why would hubby want to be with her? Disapproval of cheating is one thing, but this was not normal....so why would he cover for her, or want to be with her? Well written, had a noire-ish feel to it, but in the end falls on its own absurdity.

Make a good TV movie. Maybe not give so much away at the end.

There was plenty placing her at the scene. The woman's blood on the box of shells and her cut finger.

Kind of sad when the comments have a better plot than the actual story!

As some others have said, love the idea that she was a jealous lover of Canadian Bacon!

If the cops wife did it why wasn't there more evidence than a cut finger to implicate her?

"Why wasn't the more evidence?" - Because there wasn't! The hit man didn't see her, she wore gloves, so no fingerprints, just the slight cut through the gloves to leave the blood. There isn't always enough evidence to solve a crime, hence "cold cases!"

It's a good story but the forensic science is flawed. Latex gloves leave fingerprints.

Great read ... didnt peg the wife till the end. Bit of a mystery as to why she went crackers. Still cant understand why some critics go all speshit negative on the authors who include violence or murder, Its just a fictional portrayal of a pissible human condition. Do you write the TV guys after an episode of CSI? I believe we should comment on the story quality in a fair minded manner even if you dobt like murder.

I believe it said "rubber" gloves, not latex. I realize that latex gloves are maybe more common than regular rubber gloves, but since it says runner we can't assume latex.

How about this...this story has a wife that loves her husband. She has never cheated, doesn't want to and looks forward to spending her golden years with the man she married.

So what's the problem? Isn't that something most of these stories in this genre have missing?

Both, the detective and his wife were home, together, at the time of the murder.

...say that the murderer used latex gloves; he said RUBBER gloves, a different species entirely, and frequently more available to a housewife than the latex kind that used to be used by healthcare professionals. I would be VERY surprised if they would leave a print, even if they did fit!

Thanks for the hard work and entertainment! 4.5 * cuz of a couple difficult passages that might have been streamlined, giving a better read

Thnx again!

Korba

Beyond believable, particularly with her husband being a proud career murder detective. 3 stars, since my last impression was negative.

They were both home when he got the call, I don't think the actual time was given.

Though, with three shotgun blasts, it must have been reported pretty quickly!

This isn't True Detective.

*5

A darn good read. Well constructed with lots of twists and turns. Clever use of language, and explanation why there was no mobile phone tracking of Franks movements.Early in the story it was established that Helen had been on a rare girls night out out.

Thoroughly enjoyed it

Clever story. 5 stars. But I agree with previous post. Wrong category. Non-Erotic. Story intriguing read.

Great story, but I for one need to know why she did it

Yet I just can't figure out why the mousy house wife decides to execute a cheating couple on her eucher night?

Maybe she was actually a small time hired gun? That could explain the extra vacation cash she accumulated.

As a follow up when the retired cop returns from his retirement trip he should begin poking around his old cold cases. Turns out wifey has been a bery busy assassin.

It was said many times that she HATED cheaters, and this was someone she knew, so she was even madder because she knew the husband and felt for him.

So? On what planet is that a motive for murder?

I agree with others, the motive for Helen to commit the murder is this. The simplest explanation is that Helen herself was having an affair with the Gigalo, or maybe the friend, and killed them in a crime of passion. If I were the husband, that's what I'd suspect.

Frankly, since his wife had it out with them in Public, that'd probably be enough probable cause to request a DNA sample. A prior altercation that day?

Might want to think about that.

I remember of BigK10's story "The Fate of Her Lovers", the core of the story is similar. I suggest of reading.............

The story's root is H.U.M.O.R.

BigK10's story "The Fate of Her Lovers" is better but this story's twist is similar humorouse.

My wife had only been in bed with me for a few hours. She had a rare "girls night out" with several of her friends. They don't go wild at some meat shoppe trolling for men or get stumbling drunk. A few of them get together now and then just to clear their heads from the mundane day to day life we all have. All of her friends are cream of the crop women that grew up together. Each one of them are in long term marriages, just like me and Helen.

She came home from a "girls night out" and before home she had enough time............

I didn't say that I thought it was a motive for murder. People asked why she did it, and that was why. I didn't say that I approved, or that it was right, just that's why she did it.

It's not about "probable cause." He KNOWS she did it, but loves her and isn't about to dig any deeper.

Personally, I agree with you, and others, that it would have been cool that wifey was a jealous lover of Canadian Bacon!

Reasonably well told. (Some spots required re-reading to figure out "who's on first" and "what's on second".)

The detective's wife Helen being the perpterator was telegraphed fairly early for me (although as a retired criminal prosecuter, it could just be the "hunch" at work, rather than the author telegraphing it).

The big issue for me was wife Helen's homicides. She is a cop's long-time wife, he's had thirty years on the job, or they've been married for thirty years (his reference to "the next thirty years), with this wife. Law enforcement jobs are not conducive to total monogamy by either cop or spouse. She probably knew friends of her husband as well as in her own job(s) over those years and some of them must have been unfaithful in late 20th Century, early 21st Century America. She or Detective may have had family members or extended family members who divorced.

Money and cheating are the two main causes of American divorce.

The deceased wife was 1/2 of just old friends who'd moved away from day-to-day contact with Detective and wife Helen. Some of the divorces I mention above probably occured to people who had closer relations to Detective and wife Helen than the deceased wife Beverly and her husband. How many other relatives and friends did she whack over those years? If she did this now to a mere neighbor, what happened if her sister or her brother-in-law were discovered earlier by Helen to be cheating?? Or her best friend from high school, or one of the women in her "girl's night out"? Presumably, Helen would have been much more outraged at one of these people cheating! There would literally be a pile of corpses surrounding good old, righteous Helen!

As others have pointed out, the next time he leaves the toilet seat up, he's in deep kimchi! Frank better hope the six-month world tour doesn't include any cruise ships!

A quibble or two with the plot. Husband Frank confronts whatever his name is con man and wife Beverly in his house. They argue and Franks pushes the con man around a bit and leaves--he has to get back to combine the papers he'd left at home with the papers in his travel hotel for the meeting in Parkersburg the following day. Frank's mistress Barbara remains in the car but she can see Frank and the con man and Brverly arguing and Frank departing. No one mentions that the wife and con man are nude or nearly so at this point. So presumably they are dressed at that time.

Hit man says he saw mistress Barbara remain in car while Frank went in. WHAT THE HELL? Hitman says he never tried to make the hit, but in order to see Barbara remain in the car, he obviously WAS at the house that night, and Forensics finds his fingerprint on the house door?? But he was never there. Hitman should have used this as a point in his favor against the killing. If he didn't already know what Frank looked like, this episode would have identified husband, con man lover and wife Beverly. So he could tell the authorites he knew the guy boinkng Beverly that night was not the husband--his target, and why would he have killed two people he knew were not in his contract to kill?

Also, another quibble. We are to believe that after this interruption of their boinking, the hitman and wife Beverly get back to it, and obviously, DO NOT LOCK THE FRONT DOOR, as the killer enters. Con man and wife Beverly didn't lock the door after hubby Frank bursts in and then leaves??? (No mention of forced entry to the door or other part of the house in the story--ergo, forced entry did not happen!)

And Frank doesn't lock his gun case??

In addition, the killer has time to enter the house, go to the den, open the apparently unlocked gun-case, remove the shutgun, break out and open the box of shotgun cartridges, load four rounds (if it was pump-action or semi-automatic) or else load one or two rounds into a breech-loading (single or double barreled) shotgun and carry shotgun (or if it was a breech-loader, shutgun and one or two rounds) back into the front room where she dispatched the con man and wife Beverly. [A pump action or semi-automatic would have been the smart call if Detective's wife Helen had a choice at the gun case. Most such shutguns load at least four rounds and make reloading in the middle of the carnage unnecessary, but Frank's firearm holdings are not discussed.] And Helen was totally silent while she removed the shotgun, broke open the box of cartridges, chambered some or all of the cartridges??

Yes, I had meant to mention that also. They were in the front room, how did the killer walk in and go to the den for the gun without being seen?

And unless the killer took out both of them before the 'nads shot, why was the wife not running away while Canadian Bacon was being shot and the gun reloaded?

I thought the wife might have done it then assumed it was someone else. You had me till the end. Good story keep writing.

After the first hint it was obvious that his wife did it, just a shame that he didn't actually confront her about it.

The premise of the story was entertaining, but was let down by the delivery, most of the story read more like a summary than an actual story especially the latter half. It felt distanced and rushed.

A typical amateur mistake.

The author should have spent a bit of time showing through dialogue and immersive descriptive text, instead of just summarizing what happened.

Fleshing out the bare bones so to speak.

I would recommend rewriting, and focusing on writing out every bit of possible dialogue that was mentioned to make them come alive as real people. It would make a big difference to the quality, if done well.

And add more text dealing with the senses to make it more immersive.

Who said she went through the front door? This is just one example of you all trying to make yourselves feel superior to the author by nit picking one line or an item in the story. It is impossible for an author to indicate EVERY DAMN DETAIL that could possibly be thought of to paint a complete picture.

Did the story need to mention the murderer came in the west side door or that there was no forced entry? Or was it necessary for the story to indicate the den was not located adjacent to the front room or the gun cabinet was locked or unlocked? Would any of that information had made a difference to the story?

You all are acting like Monday arm chair quarter backs second guessing a play from the day before saying you could do better. Is any of this really necessary?

I believe the author's intent was to simply give you all a story to enjoy hoping you would come away saying he did alright. That the guy put forth an effort to simply write because he wanted to give you a few minutes of immersion in a fictional world.

But, instead many of you have deepened the toxicity the Loving Wives genre has turned into. Even the greats avoid it now and have taken up to posting elsewhere. And who complains about the lack of good stories? The same people who cut down them down.

Think about it folks...

Good story, but why? They needed more of connection to the couple then that they used to be friends. Hard to believe that her hatred for cheaters was so sever that she would kill over it. If he we would have been her brother or their best friend it would have been more believable.

A plot so transparent it might as well be glass; writing, (and spelling and grammar), so poor it smacks of someone who skipped 80% of school and sat at home watching NCIS LA; plus plot "drivers" that I believe were retired sometime in the 18th century.

Like I said, bad - with a capital D for dog turd.

I don't like NCIS LA.

This story felt more like Joe Friday from Dragnet than NCIS pick-a-city. It had a dry delivery with more tell than most modern writers (effete bastards, all of us) care for. We get a bit of telling versus some very contrived dialog for The police procedures. And I liked Dragnet, so there's that. Wonder if the wife could have been involved with our Northern friend and more jealous than outraged. Yes, I know that there was nothing in the story to support this. But hey, it's loving wives. Could happen. Anyway, I liked it. Thanks for writing. 5 stars. JPR

I had a good time.

Jedd Clampett

And she committed double homicide because she hates cheaters even when their cheating doesn't have anything to do with them? Oh, wait. That describes 60 percent of the readers of cheating wife stories.

but still we needed and still need more sex. dont just tell me a story or take me to dinner, there always needs to be sex. always. dog gone it.

You seriously couldn't come up with a motive for her murdering two people, other than hating cheaters? Everyone saw it coming that she did it. I assumed she was fucking the Canadian too, that the girl's night was involved, and there'd be fallout of some kind. But no. Just popped off for a quick double murder because she hates cheaters. Literally the dumbest fucking ending on Literotica.

this was a very good story .thank you lonerider10

Either Helen is a psychopath or the author isn't able to come up with a better motive. I mean if she could kill two people in cold blood because they were cheaters, not associated with her, then she could easily be a serial killer. So a detective is married to a serial killer. And they have the audacity to look down on cheaters?

The more plausible situation is that the author had a good idea, but didn't take the extra step to make it plausible. He wanted a happy ending for the retiring couple so he didn't want to put her in a "bad light". But obviously to him someone who could kill two "cheaters" in cold blood is not a bad person.

Ending was totally predictable. What wasn't predictable that it would be based on such a silly reason.

Very good story. A BTB with a nice twist. Some people just don't like cheaters. Some like them a lot less than others. Good for Helen.

a nice touch the band aid had a cute little girly name brand.

Bet he never cheats on her.

But, then again I used to figure out the end to plenty of Dragnet episodes growing up (even when I was 8 or 9). It’s also why I really liked to language and storytelling pace of the dialogue— very “Joe Friday”. “Just the facts mam.”

the author did too good of a job with clues as to who the killer was. However, it seemed to be odd and out of character for the Cop's wife to be the killer other than saying she hated adulterers. Now you have to wonder how many others she has killed over the years.

Maybe Helen killed her lover Beverly because in a fit of jealous rage. ?? ? Sheds a different light on her hatred of cheaters, eh.

The "killer" is supposed to have presumably cut themselves while opening the box of shells in a rush...

But the killer wore gloves.

If they had the foresight to put on gloves, why would they have rushed to open the box...?

It meant they already had the gloves with them... so being there with gloves was planned... and why be there with gloves unless they were expecting to conceal a crime...?

So, the premeditation of wearing the gloves would have more likely resulted in a calm opening of the box.

Even if Helen planned a crime just because Beverly was a cheater and not because Helen was involved in cheating, the facts don't quite match.

Still thought she would have got better gloves

Again. I love this story and the twist in the end. Great, well told story.

“Twist” to be unbelievable. Neither as to the killer, nor to him letting it slide.

Nice true crime story well told. Twist at end was clearly seen coming.

But absolutely no sex in this, maybe should be told in introduction.

Category "Loving Wives" seems wrong to me, there were no loving wives, so it looks like more category "Non- Erotic".

At least Hubby has to fear his wife. Cold blooded murder when not involved, maybe gets a death sentence or Life without Parole. Guess she can't take the risk or when they would broke up she needs to do something.

4 stars and just for the twist.

BUT having the wife be the killer NAH - NO WAY not gonna happen.

The gopher’s best, in my opinion, and top 50 all time LW stories. That’s a great ire!

Why drop a hint on the last page that Helen might be the murderer and then don't end the story?

The ending ruined the whole story because it exposed the killer as Helen because of the Hello Kitty Band aid but ended the story with no conclusion.

Good twist.

Those complaining about pointing the finger at Helen but no ending to the story missed the message in the last paragraphs: "No more obligation to the law and the sacrifice that came with it. ........Like I said, I knew who the killer was."

Good story - good progression. Would have liked some better explanation of Helen’s actions. But good story

Great tale. It became muddled in places -- too wordy and convoluted. With some rewriting and an aggressive edit to clean out the weeds, this has commercial value.

Do anybody think it was a mystery?

I didn't.

But it's in a wrong segment.

Way too convoluted and needlessly complicated for what was telegraphed from the very beginning. The whole thing was kind of a <shrug> ‘who cares’.

Was convoluted, complicated, and well written.

5' for your efforts and a good story. Mystery or LW.

Very enjoyable- novel twist. We’ll written

This was a wild ride. Great story

A well written and entertaining whodunit.

Great story, and one my favorites ever.

Absolutely excellent!! And you got me totally! I can’t remember the last time a story did that. Thank you for writing this! Five stars plus!

Great story. Your stories that I have read always give me a laugh and this one was no different. Great writer.

Good enjoyable story, the end no surprise, it was given away with his first conversation with his wife. If it wasn't her there was no point in that but if the story.

A master class in story writing. Flawless composition.

VERY, VERY nice story line, characters and an awesome plot. 6 STARS

Now that's the kind of conviction against cheating I'm looking for in a woman. Of course I don't actually want her to murder cheaters as it's just too messy. Good little story in any case.

Very nicely written it was like reading a tv show , lol never know who sees , hello kitty

What was her motive? Hating cheaters to the extent of murder?

Decent writing, however before the end of the first page we knew the killer was Helen.