Laura's Choice Ch. 01

I resolved to answer these voices by restarting the 'what if' discussion about my life if I truly, completely submitted. I was far from writing off my free will but I had to see what he was really thinking. And, strangely enough, after I made this decision to pursue the discussion he made the first move in an unexpected way. One night he came home with packages in his arm. He said to me, "Laura go into my room and take your clothes off, leave your panties and bra on."

"Yes sir," I dutifully replied, expecting that he merely wanted to fuck me before dinner. He enjoyed pulling my panties off so this was not unusual.

Mrs. Lawrence was in the kitchen and Xavier turned to her and said, "Cook just for yourself, Laura and I are going out." I whirled about in shock and gaped at him. The last time I had left the house, excluding the police raid, was a trip to a physician for strep throat and he never let me out of his sight.

Smiling, he turned me by my shoulders and smacked my rear sending me up the stairs, saying, "Go now, Pet." How I hated that condescending name but too shocked to argue I quickly went to his room and shed my clothes down to my underwear. Coming into the room he pulled a skirt out of one bag and a knitted sweater top out of another. A third bag had a pair of very soft, silky thigh high stockings. For my role in life most of my clothing was suitable for hanging around the house while waiting to strip for him for sex. An actual skirt was a significant addition to my wardrobe.

I put the new outfit on while he watched. He motioned for me to turn around and he nodded his approval. Looking in his mirror I saw a reflection of myself that surprised even me. I liked what I saw.

He pulled a set of heels out of another and I looked in awe at the beautiful shoes. Was I this easy to buy?

---

Walking up to the table in the quiet dark restaurant I hesitated. As his slave I was never allowed to sit at the table when he was in the room. My place was kneeling by his side, close enough so that he could feed me. Other than the time outs in the corner of his room, nothing else was so humiliating as kneeling on the floor at meal time. I believed he did that to remind me what I was to him.

He smoothly walked beside me and pulled out the chair and nodded his head down for me to sit. My eyes must have looked like saucers as I sat down. He moved around to his chair and sat down as well and picked up the wine menu. Meanwhile, I looked in awe at the beautifully set table. I couldn't remember when I had last dined in a high end restaurant, probably sometime with my parents many years ago, in almost a different lifetime. The waiter returned to take Xavier's order for wine.

He looked at me closely for a moment and then spoke, "When we are out like this you will call me Xavier. You will say my name respectfully and you will behave yourself at all times. No smart mouth or arguments. I will pick your meal and you will agree with me on everything. Sometimes I will ask you for a choice. If not, you will eat what I order you. Now, can I trust you to behave yourself?"

I nodded. I was still in a mild state of disbelief to do anything else. "Laura, I asked you a question."

Quickly I responded, "Yes Sir, I mean, yes Xavier I will behave myself."

"Good. I would hate to end this evening by you making me take my belt to your ass."

My eyes widened. I was clearly on probation and I didn't want to mess it up. Our wine arrived and he poured himself a large glass and, to my amazement, he poured me a small amount. Wine was an unheard of treat for me in his house.

"So Laura, have you thought about accepting your relationship with me?"

Okay, here we go. This was the conversation I wanted to have with him and he was kicking it off. "Xavier, you are referring to my submission as your .. your ..." I didn't know how to put it without possibly offending him so I tried, "your possession?"

"Yes"

Well, despite the elegant surroundings we weren't going to mince words about what my 'relationship' to him was. I was his valued possession, his slave in reality. I looked around the room at the few other diners and wondered if their conversations were as weird as Xavier's and mine was about to be. In America, discussions of slavery went out the window for the most part after the 19nth century. But not for me.

I answered truthfully, "Yes, a lot actually."

"And?"

"If it really led to a life that was not so confining or limited I would be happier."

"What would you do if, say, it was less confining? It couldn't be dangerous. You will always be my property and I protect what is mine."

"Xavier, I get that you value me and want to protect me, but really, even when slavery existed in this country slaves were given passes to travel around to do their master's bidding and even to visit friends at other plantations. They were given a day off a week, Sunday, to do what they wanted and they could travel, with permission, of course, to see friends. I don't even have those nominal rights."

"Yes, and in those days the chances of a slave running away successfully were slim because the society was geared to catching and punishing runaways. And the punishment was brutal."

"But we are talking if I submitted in heart and mind. I would only submit if I really meant it. I believe you would know if I was lying to you. I would not do that because I believe you would know."

"Laura, lets say you did successfully lie and leave me again, like the last time, I would find you and the punishment would scar you for life because you would have breached my trust and I would beat you like never before. Is that perfectly clear? I don't want to ever have to say that again."

The coldness of his eyes and the sincerity in his voice left no doubt that he would do what he said if I lied to him. I looked down at the table away from his piercing gaze and whispered, "If I willingly submit, it will be the truth. I will accept being yours."

"Good, now tell me what you would want to do?"

"I haven't thought about it a whole lot really. I would like to travel to other countries, see the Eiffel tower, rhinos and elephants in Africa, Macchu Piccu or whatever. Maybe go back to school and finish my courses. Just have some choices in my life."

"I would never let you go to those places alone but I could take you to some of them. School is a possibility but I would probably have Mrs. Lawrence or someone take you to the campus."

"Really, how would I be in danger just taking a bus or driving to a school?"

"Laura, you know what my line of work is, the milieu I live in. I am rising in my organization and with that there are people who would do me harm and harming you would be a way for them to get to me. I can't take chances with your safety."

It struck me like never before. Being with Xavier was a double edged sword. On one hand he would protect me but on the other, being with him made me a target for the underworld he moved in. A thought came out somewhere from the back of my mind. "Xavier, what if I wanted children one day?"

He shot right back, "What if I wanted children? Let me answer that. If I wanted children, you would give me those children."

We had tripped into new territory and I had triggered it. My eyes widened as I looked at him. He continued, "Yes, I will want children to pass what I have to them. You would be their mother."

"Xavier, people only do that when they are married, well, for the most part."

"That's just a detail. If I say we are getting married, it will happen. You have no choice in this. You are mine to do as I please and if that includes making you have my babies then you will have them. I decide your future and it changes for the good if you submit willingly. Don't think I enjoy keeping you locked up. You make me do it with your little rebellions."

Just then the waiter arrived for our orders, or rather Xavier's order for both himself and for me. I was saved from saying something about graduating from sex toy to baby factory, a comment I'm sure would earn me time in the corner or a raw ass. Luckily I bit my tongue.

He decided that the conversation was over for the time being and that was probably just as well. We actually had a reasonably civil conversation about mostly mundane things, small talk really which was something new for us. He actually seemed to care what I thought and we both laughed at Mrs. Lawrence's quirks and particularly her new coffee bean obsession. If I hadn't been wearing a tracking collar, it might have felt like a normal date, or at least as normal as could be given our twisted relationship. I found myself enjoying the meal and the relaxed atmosphere of the restaurant. I decided that I had to show my appreciation for being let out of the cage so to speak. I wanted to encourage more of this.

On the drive home I quietly reached over and put my hand on his thigh. He didn't say anything but I could feel his leg tensing. I lightly ran my hand up to his knee and then back to his hip, each time I neared his centre I ran my fingers closer to the inside of his upper thigh. I didn't talk and stared straight ahead. Finally I moved my fingers to his crotch and felt his cock already hardening. I smiled to myself. Yes, I was going to show my appreciation for dinner out.

Reaching the house I led him through the kitchen by the hand up the stairs and into his room. He looked at me and I could tell from his eyes that I would be ordered to strip any second. I wanted to do something for him first so before he could tell me I moved up to him and took his hands gently off his tie which were working at the knot. "Please Sir, let me help with your clothes." I undid the knot and slipped it out of his collar. I gave him as sultry a smile as I could and then began undoing the buttons on his shirt. At each one I kissed his chest and then ran my tongue down to the next button. Reaching his belt I pulled the shirt out from his pants and ran my lips along the edge from hip to hip. Slipping the shirt off his shoulders and arms I got on my knees in front of him. He was letting me lead so I continued the tease by running my lips down over his pants as my hands worked on opening the belt and the button. I could feel his cock through the cotton material. I ran my lips up and down the length, while looking up into his eyes.

Besides a reward for taking me out of my cage I wanted to show him that I also had something more to offer. I generally had no role but to offer him my mouth and my other holes depending on his mood. I decided that tonight I would show him how much better it could be.

Breaking eye contact to pull the sweater over my head I released my bra and shrugged out of it. I quickly resumed the slow lowering of his pants. I pulled them off as Xavier picked up one foot after the other. Quickly I went back to work on his boxers, putting my fingers in the waist loop but holding them up as I ran my lips all over the front capturing his hardness in my mouth through the fabric, giving it little squeezes with my lips. He groaned as I did this and I knew this odd play was turning him on. Finally I slipped his shorts off and had him naked in front of me.

Holding onto and massaging his cock I moved around to kneel behind him and began to lick and kiss his ass cheeks putting as much feeling and enthusiasm into this submissive act as I could. I knew he was sensitive on his rear and I wanted to show how much I could pleasure his body. Part of me was calculating but another part was truly enthusiastic on my role tonight. I wanted him to enjoy it, but also I was turned on, my display of slavish submissiveness oddly arousing and empowering me at the same time. Maybe this was what I was meant to do.

The phrase is 'worship his cock.' Just a cliche but tonight I was determined to add new meaning to that phrase with the best blow job I could give. I used every trick I knew on him. Slow licks the length of the underside and sides, sucking on just the head, taking his full length in as deep as my throat would allow, fluttering my tongue on the sensitive underside of the head while humming with my lips wrapped around the head. While sucking with all the skill and ingenuity I could muster one of my hands was gently massaging his balls while the other hand was alternating between massaging and kneading his ass and running my fingers over his anus and pressuring his perineum. It took all my concentration to keep all these motions in sync. Finally I lifted his cock up and took each ball in turn into my mouth and gently but firmly laved my tongue and mouth around the testicle with as much 'worship' as I could put into it. The noises he was making and the clenching and unclenching of his hands in my hair was telling me I was on the right path. I didn't know where this would get me but I thought it had to help my bargaining position. And I was also getting into the role, almost enjoying it.

I kept this up for some time, surprised that he would let me take charge this long. I pulled back and locked eyes again and asked, "Master, would you like to fuck me now." His eyes, dark and filled with lust, bored into me. He took over, grabbing my head by the hair and slamming his cock back into my mouth. For minutes he humped my face, driving his cock deep into my mouth. I was gagging and gasping for breath, my saliva drooling all over my chin and chest.

Stopping suddenly, he pulled me up and yanked my skirt down and off. I shimmied out of my panties leaving only my thigh high stockings. With his hands on my neck he moved me to lie on the edge of the bed, my upper body on the bed, my knees on the floor. Pulling my hips up he angled his cock and entered me roughly. "That's right Sir," I gasped from the assault. "Use your slave's body. Take what is yours. Put your ... ah ah ... cum.. unh.. into my belly. Make a baby in there." Where this was coming from I knew not but my plan to submissively fuck him as well as I could was driving my own arousal. Maybe this was me: a creature of his to own and fuck to his heart's content. Maybe I had already capitulated and the lust I felt at my debasement was from the freedom of giving all to him.

I had always thought that his preference for fucking me from behind had to do with maintaining a certain level of detachment from any emotion. Grabbing my hair and pounding me while facing my back meant he didn't have to look at my face. Tonight though, I wanted to look into his eyes and I had to take a chance. Timing an outward pull of his cock I twisted and very quickly moved up and back onto the bed. I could be in trouble for this and I quickly opened my legs wide and with my my most submissive and enticing look I pleaded, "Please Sir, I want to kiss you." A look of confusion mixed with deep lust passed over his face. I knew this was unexpected of me. During sex with Xavier I would avoid kissing him if I could. However, now when he settled between my legs, slipping his cock back into me I wrapped my arms around his head and with all the passion I could muster I attacked his mouth. Wrapping my legs around his hips I crossed my ankles at the small of his back, grinding my sex into him, humping with him for all I was worth. When the motion became too wild I stopped trying to kiss him and looked into his eyes instead. What I think he saw in my eyes and I saw in his was shocking both of us. The intensity of the passion flowing between our bodies and eyes had never happened like this before.

And surprising to me was how much pleasure my body was feeling. The tingling and tightness in my belly was telling me how close I was to coming. Sex with Xavier was not often about my pleasure. Usually once he got himself off I was sent to clean up and go to my room. Once Xavier had turned my light out and locked the door I would often finish the job with my fingers. Tonight was different. My planned act of submissive lust was having the unintended effect of turning me on. My arousal was taking over. His thick cock deliciously filled me. His chest brushing against my naked breasts made my nipples hard sending shock waves to my core. The need and pleasure in his eyes emboldened me. It was giving me an edge and on top of that I was enjoying the carnality of it all. I pulled out all the stops.

"Xavier, oh please fuck me hard ...ungh .. ah ah .. your cock feels so good. I'm yours Xavier, fuck me , make me come. Oh God I love your cock in me." I don't know if he believed a word of it but my body was truly on fire and I came hard and loud, my cunt pulsing around his cock and my hips humping him, my legs wound tightly around his thighs brought him over the edge and he came with a shout.

For some time we both gasped for air, him still in me and our foreheads resting on each others. He finally rolled off me, facing away, not saying anything. I decided to milk what was surely the best sex we had experienced since he purchased me from the abductors. I still hated everything he had done to me, what he had turned me into but hating him now was not going to move my life forward. I curled up to his back and whispered in his ear, "Thank you Sir." I kissed all along the back of his neck and jawline. I massaged his chest and slipped a leg between his. He groaned and I smiled.

"Laura, why is this different tonight? I own you. You should be like this all the time. I've warned you about holding back from me."

"Sir, I enjoyed the evening tonight. You made me happy. I wanted to show you that," I replied with some trepidation knowing that I was walking on thin ice. Tonight was a transaction in a way and Xavier didn't believe I had a right to bargain. I was his to do what he wanted with, and yet I had projected that there was much more for me to give than access to my body. My mind and emotions were my bargaining chips. I could give more and I realized the side benefit was in the heightened pleasure I received. Small tremors born from the intensity of the orgasm shook through my body as I kissed and sucked on his neck. The glow I felt was real.

Could I hate what he did to me but still want to enjoy his body? Could sex that good with someone be possible if I really hated him? If he hadn't taken my freedom how would I feel about him as a man, or rather as a lover? But he had raped me as well, particularly at the beginning. It wasn't really rape now, just plain old sexual slavery. I laughed at that and he said, "What?"

I replied, "Nothing Sir," as I slid down and gently rolled him onto his back. Taking his soft member into my mouth I licked it clean and began a slow sucking action. It was interesting doing this to a soft penis, feeling the flexibility as I could easily get the whole thing into my mouth. It felt like a toy compared to the hard rod I was used to. I had never really done this before. Once sex was over I usually awaited further instructions that mostly involved cleaning up and going to my room. Having fun with his soft dick was a bit of a novelty for both of us.

That condition only lasted a short while as I could feel the thing grow longer and harder in my mouth. I giggled around it and looked at him playfully while he stared at me intently. I always had a hard time guessing what he was thinking. Xavier never really shared any inner thoughts with me. I was there for the taking and that's all he owed me, essentially the basics of life and nothing else. My silly play with his cock was new ground for us. Perhaps my world was changing. And his too.

I decided to take another chance. After working him back into a hard state I cautiously straddled him and began rubbing my slit over his cock. He just looked at me. I had no idea if he was about to put the slave back in her place by kicking me out of his room or taking charge of the sexual agenda. When he didn't move I took a hold of his member and slowly sank down on it. I let out a gasp as it reached deep into my depths. The feeling was delightful. I was far from another orgasm but I truly loved the way his thick cock filled me and rubbed my depths.