All Comments on 'Lavender'

A reasonable tale about reasonable people doing reasonable things. Even the ghost element wasn't too offensive until the end and then.... Poof! the whole thing went up in a puff of words and became 5 pages of pure junk. I was wondering how the author was going to pull out of this and then I find that he was wondering too. And then gave up. 2* for wasting my time.

I enjoy a good story and thought this one was great. Keep up the good work.

1. Was he Josh, or Jonas?

2. "I assume he had thought that by arriving in Janet's ancient LandRover I was poor."

This suggests (to me, anyway) that Janet's vehicle had caused his (presumed) poverty. I doubt that this is a British/US linguistic issue.

3. A nice explanation of "trickle-down economics," including how the trickle can be both good stuff and bad stuff.

I also found the ending a big let-down, like the anonymous poster. I wouldn't say it meant I'd wasted my time reading the story, as he (or she or it) did, but it made a good story less satisfying in my eyes.

-- WWC3

Not anonymous, but Overcritical. That's a username, not a description. As a description, it maybe fits me.

who cannot belive in ghosts, goblins and apparitions able to conquer space and time, TK U MLJ LV NV

Halloween Viking is still my favourite, this one very close. Thanks Ogg, and sorry for catching up to it so late. But hey, there's a lot to read on this site. Some real treasures like this one.

I had the distinct impression this story couldn't figure out what it wanted to be, an interesting, sexy ghost story, or some kind of businessman-saves-the-small-town-economy story. Somewhere in the middle it just switched tracks and turned into a completely different animal, which is a shame. The focus on Ian and his relationships was very interesting, from his non-marriage and breakup with Marie, to his newly explored attraction to Janet, to his tumultuous but pivotal one-night-stand with Dorcas. There was a lot going on here in the first two pages, but then it just devolved into chatter and minutiae. Sadly, I found the discussion of what he did for a living and how he was going to help revive the local businesses terribly dull. It wouldn't have been so bad in a more developed novella but in a five page story it was just an unwelcome distraction, much like his shopping for a new car.

Finally, when the story began to return to Dorcas and her haunting things started moving at break neck speeds. The explanation for why she had evolved was overly simplistic and anti-climactic and her sudden need to explain how and why she was going to make love to Ian made everything feel very dispassionate. Equally disappointing was the way in which Ian's "romance" with Janet was described. To be completely honest, I'd actually thought they were going to break up. A good portion of page 4 was spent discussing how they were basically getting tired of one another's company! Sex was blah unless he went away a few days. They got tired of being around one another all the time when she worked with him. Moving in together was a bad idea, they needed a break from one another. The hell? How is this a healthy relationship? Then, all of a sudden, Janet becomes all possessive of him and after she helps Dorcas fuck Ian it's time to get married! Um, what? Why? I get it, not every couple likes to be in one another's pocket all day long but the way these two were described it sounded more like they were going the way Ian and Marie did, not falling deeper in love and looking towards marriage. Nothing about the last page and a half convinced me that they were a good couple and I'm sorry but that's just poor writing.

In the end I gave this three stars, mostly for the concept and the beginning details. The story of the sexy ghost who wears men out and the descriptions of Ian and his tumultuous relationship with Marie and his injuries was very well done. Unfortunately, that promising beginning was not capitalized on and my interest flagged. It's a shame, really, I was looking forward to something much more mystical and interesting to happen between Ian and Dorcas. Untapped potential...

Decent idea, good start, poor resolution. Also needs a decent proofreader - on page 1 Josh becomes Jonas, twice; on page 1 Angela and Alan drive off in opposite directions, on page 3 they have only one car.