All Comments on 'Learning the Rules Ch. 02'

So far, this is a nice build up. Next chapter please. I can't wait to read it.

As Mr. Darcy said to Elizabeth, "It was done in service of a friend."

While Jamie's business might not be Ashley's to tell under normal circumstances, it was not out of line here. Given the situation, she had an obligation to share that basic information with her friend-who-is-like-family. She didn't shout it on the street corner. She didn't go into grisly details. She gave her friend a critical piece of information in order to make a basically informed choice. These domly doms would rather play games with this vanilla person who is supposed to be so special to them?

I heartily dislike bullshit and made up punishments. This situation has flies buzzing it.

Your writing is very strong. However, I'm nit finding any of these characters particularly likable at the moment.

The incorrect word usage/spelling made it tough to enjoy fully.

What a delicious turn. Looking forward to reading more.

xx Matt

The excitement builds with every paragraph. You certainly have my attention with your writing skills and the erotic nature of BDSM. I could read this over and over.

I enjoyed it, but would recommend revising sentences with condicional phrases, which was not used most of the time...

There’s an inherent arrogance where Doms are concerned, likewise I detest mind games. As far as I’m concerned ideally she should have spoken to her husband before the BDSM revelation to her friend but it’s not a huge issue. She shouldn’t have mentioned the “Dom’s Dom” comment at all but it would’ve be fine to let her know that he was into BDSM.

As for the “punishment” he thought he was right so went ahead, what he should have done was make love to her in their own bed post scene. Best case scenario is that they discuss why she talked about it; ie. as in to enable their friend to make an informed judgment.

Ironically it takes a very strong person to be a Sub, but low self esteem is incredibly common amongst Subs, more amongst women in general.

My next point isn’t relevant in this instance but is relevant overall, it’s that low self esteem is a massive stumbling block and can easily prevent a Sub from using their safe word when they may actually need to.

But the tone gives me a really bad 50 shades of grey vibe.

The fact that the dom trys to keep the nature of a BDSM-relationship hidden from the best friend of the sub is a baaaaaaaaaaaaaad sign. Sometimes really baaaad. Not really a red flag... but it makes me uncomfortable.

Jaime seems to think of himself as God's gift to all subs. Well In my experience as Dungeon Master I had to throw more then just a couple of them out of the building. We will how things develop in the rest of the story.

I'm unsure of how to respond to this. Alex needed to be forewarned. From my understanding, D/s relationships require trust, communication, willingness, and a little, if not a lot, of love. Stephan's punishment was a little harsh. I think a bit of reconciliation was needed.

I know this isn't abuse, it's consensual, but the punishment toes that line, in my mind. This was hard to read, for me. Part of me is begging Alex to just run, and run fast. I'm a fan, Apple, so I'll keep reading.

I agree with teehaa, when they say: "The fact that the dom trys to keep the nature of a BDSM-relationship hidden from the best friend of the sub is a baaaaaaaaaaaaaad sign. Sometimes really baaaad. Not really a red flag... but it makes me uncomfortable." To hide something like that from a supposed best friend, best life-long friend, smacks of shame. And fear. One should never fear a Dom...that's a welcome mat for abuse. There needs to be a way for someone to escape, and being controlled on who you can share your intimate life with, well, that's a red flag for an abusive relationship, and prevents the sub from finding help if the Dom gets crazy. IMHO.

Hard to read, but that's just me.

The writing is, per standard for your skill, excellent. Some errors, but perfection is overrated.

My issue is about craft.

WHO is the story about?

WHICH?

ALL?

Sorry. And it's overloaded with Explaining.

Keep writing, though.