by sk11
Good story other than the fact that you changed the other girl's name half way through your story. You started of with Sally and ended up with Sarah.
Sally/Sarah decide which and stick to it! Also you need some distinction between memory and present, maybe italics or something, one second we're in the present then out of the blue it's the past.
I am confused, this says chapter 1, but you posted it twice.
is there meant to be a part 2?
But where is chapter two and why were we blessed with 2 identical chapters?
Fun read, nice pace. Cries, positively cries I say, for another chapter or two. Don't forget to bring the wife back, expecting to be welcomed with open arms only to find......