by EdinburghGirl24
I LOVE this story. I always come back to it when I need a pick me up.
I think this is my absolute favorite story on this site!!! :D
You brought tears to my eyes reading this piece ... Such an emotional impact, I felt myself in the story right along with you. I would absolutely read anything else you decided to write. Just beautiful!!!
As in your story this is a great first story... as far as I'm concerned I can handle the few minor glitches, if you continue to write without an editor I would still happily read your stories... I look forward to more from you.... (this story was a little more personal for me as I have the same problems, being a bbw is hard and fears are hard fought. I am happy someone is writing about it in a more realistic way... at least more real for me) Good luck... ~Defy
You do need to edit or get someone to do it for you. Watch the use of you, your, you're, slide and slid, among others.
Look forward to other stories from you.
Lots of wee glitches, but you have something there. Keep writing, it's the only way to release your own potential.
For a first story it was well written - a proof reader would help but your thoughts and ideas were excellent read. I am looking forward to thenext story you share.
I agree. You could use a proof reader and it was a very good story.
You could use a proof reader, but the story was well written and emotional. I think you captured his feelings for her very nicely, even if I might not agree with his method of demonstrating it. For a first effort it was good, actually much better than just good, as I gave you five stars. Please keep writing.
I hope to read many more of your stories in the future. Thanks for sharing.