by RBLL
story wasnt written very well, didnt keep my attention. i was wanting it over with. but kept on reading to hope it got better. it didnt
This isn't a well written story. It was poorly conceived and not executed with any firm purpose at all. Go find a course or two in writing and pay attention to what is taught there!
pressurising neat word since you make up spelling do we make up the meaning? The first paragraph boucnhed too much for me with what voice you are writing in, not enough commas and so what confusing. I thought after read your first paragraph you would be able to understand mine.