by StrongMaster7
Your story had no filler to draw a reader in and foster empathy for characters. 3 Stars was a generous score.
great, hot story, I found it to be a stroker.
I don't usually go for lesbian (I'm a straight female, and sometimes read lesbian works because they tend to go into more detail about foreplay, which I like) but this was very good. I don't know what the other commenter was thinking; sure, it was a bit short. But it was also smooth, it didn't feel too rushed, it didn't leave out important details. The grammar was good, spelling was good, nothing huge needed work at all. So really, I'd give it ~4 stars. It wasn't anything excellent, but it really was good. Three stars wouldn't do it justice at all.
Without building your characters up first, you just have a decent story outline with two names inserted. As an outline, the length matters little, but, as a full story, well it isn't - a full story. It's just a brief encounter and you stopped writing when the first set of orgasms were done. The story was barely started.
That was haaaaaaawt lol. Personally, I thought it was a lovely little short story. I thought it was exactly as long as it should be. And the narrative was certainly not lacking. I guess everyone wants the same ol formula again and again. I thought it was refreshing that the characters weren't rape-victims, or confused bisexuals, or married, etc. Just a sweet, short, HOT little story. 5 stars. ...one thing though, im surprised she didn't try some batteries from the remote, a baby toy, one of her "toys", etc. XD))
The story was exciting and sensuous !!!!
Thanks for sharing.
ff38dd( o )( o ) ....Kathy
What a gorgeous story, perhaps one day l will be Sally, lucky lucky girl, loved it x
I LOVED this story!!! However on a more personal note, I have tried to find women who were lactating. It sure isn't easy at least in So IN.
I want to suck someone's tits so bad! I'm soaking wet right now.. I want someone to call me baby girl and let me suck up all that sweet milk while grabbing my ass.
I've been searching for quite some time to find a woman to suckle that has breast milk.
ff38dd( o )( o ) ....Kathy
I love the way it develops, I would like to read a sequel.
Oh the pleasure of just imagining that sweet hot wetness fill my mouth. Makes me hungry and thirsty all at once
I read this while masturbating and it was very hot. I didn't like the term she-come, and I wish there was more squirting, but as a horny woman this was fun to read and stroke to.