by iluvitall
This story would have been much improved if Jon had done something other than make one comment and/or had some issues with homosexuality. As it is, it seemed like he made one comment and was otherwise a live and let live kinda guy, so what's the point of waiting a year to get revenge for almost nothing? You need to up the drama quotient on that factor.
I agree with the first comment, the punishment does NOT fit the crime, in fact is out of all proportion to it. It would have been quite another, more convincing story if the prisoner had actually done something really harmful to a gay person, and, sadly, wouldn't have been the least bit unbelievable. As it is the gays working him over are little more than bashers themselves. Best, Ken
Good premise, good story but it all seemed over too quickly.
Take the time to develop your stories rather than giving a full paragraph to the first cock then saying "and 30 more cocks followed."
There's potential here. Keep up the good work.
:)
"Love" was not being made --- it was ---unjustified--- rape. One offhand comment does not a fag basher make! This story would have been much better had the guy been a real asshole. And the story was way too brief, almost an outline. Good idea, with lots of posibilities... go for it, you write well.
I am a married man, and one of my good friends is gay. To have him and his friends take me like this would awesome...
That would turn me on having strange men , force me to suck cock and swallow cum