All Comments on 'Life as a New Hire Ch. 26'

Good installment. Minor nit: how about Reinemachefrau instead of Heinamachefrau? No, it isn't my native language either, sorry.

BTW: Any Finnish Amazons around? The melody of Finnish/Estonian is similar to Cael's native Magyar. Similar enough to catch a Hungarian's attention for a few seconds, until he realizes it's "that other language".

The Heinamachefrau line is from the movie: "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid'.

Yes, there is a small Finnish contingent and their is a House Mielikki on the Council. She is not one of the Seven Martial Goddesses, she is venerated along with Inara as hunting Goddesses.

camp: check

Cael in ok state: check

Pamela: Check

Sexist women: check

Aya: double check

to quote Cael and Pamela

"We are not worthy"

Now i have to wait for 27.

I check every night for these chapters. They are sometimes the highlight of among day. Thank you :)

For the love of all that is wonderful in life, please dont stop writing this story. I laughed so hard at Pamela and Cael's Synchronized madness that my sides are still aching.

You made my day . Thank you!

Your work pleases me so much that, when it was posted last night at 1230, it was an act of extreme will that I didn't read it at that exact moment. I was able to wait until today, but only because I had to get up at 0530 to take care of something vitally important. But, upon arising at that ungodly hour, I couldn't resist the siren song of Cael's next. So, I opened up my laptop and read it.

And, after reading this chapter, I forgot what it was that I got up so early for.

Oops!!!

What's the opposite of "oops?"

SPOO, of course.

FS... I don't know how you do this... You keep making the next chapter better than the one before. If you have a book published please let me know you ate such a great writer I would pay for them. Great job on this one

Of course, Aya's summer camp is not reachable by roadways, by a lake with a designated swim area, and a large firepit for night time sing-alongs. Awesome, FS, so imaginative and always interesting. Although I wonder, in 50 days, where they will find a remote wilderness area large enough to hold the largest, most attended hunt in Amazon history.

...f*cking brilliant as always. I cannot believe that this is Ch. 26 and I'm this hungry for more. Aya being his hope reminds me of my relationship with my daughter.

I'm not sure how you've managed to keep this story feeling fresh 26 chapters in but you have surely done so and even if some of the wordplay passes me by, I find myself strangely addicted to this story. Do keep it up, I beg!

I'd bet that there's more wordplay than foreplay in this story.

Even if, frequently, they're being expressed simultaneously.

From: Anonymous:

"Finish your fucking stories before you start new ones you retardation of a man."

WOOT!

Well, back to Chapter 27. I've been blocked for the past two days, re-writing some scenes that didn't feel were true to the characters. This one should be larger - I'm looking at around 18,000 words as opposed to the regular 10~11,000.

A very tiny Teaser:

Cáel: "Does that make me the Cajun Santa Claus?"

Putting on the hunt is the easy part. The hard part is figuring out what the heck to do when Aya sneaks in and bags him before having to wait for her majority to claim her prize :D

First: FS wonderful as always! Thank You!

Second: I agree putting on the hunt will not be the hard part for the Amazons. The hard part is going to be, after Pamela and Cáel rework their deal so that Pamela foregoes taking herself to the cliffs until her first Great Grand Daughter reaches her age of majority. She then enlist Miyako, Delilah, and (at the very least) Estere to ensure no Amazon gets Cáel, unless he wants that one to.

To begin with, I can't count. I write my stories in 'books'. Currently I'm on Book 4 for Life as a New Hire. That means I have to recall what the previous count was then figure out how big the current chapter is. Chapter 27 has grown to...27,000 words and I am STILL not done yet - but close. If anyone thinks a 30,000 word chapter is too much of a mouthful, please let me know. Otherwise...

27,000+ words, IMHO publish ASAP, my rapacious addiction for Cáel's exploits is seemingly without boundaries or limits. Oink

Does anyone else besides me get the impression in 50 days cael is either going to be in a full body cast or suffer death from snoo snoo.

With most chapters in the 6000 word range? Not knowing the content, I'm not really in a position to tell you to break that up into 4ish installments or something, but whether it's one giant chapter or 4 smaller ones, I'll read it all.

Another Great chapter I an hooked on this story ! Thank the Goddess that I have an online dictionary to help me . Otherwise I would be at a loss .

Thanks again

TX CRACKER

5***** 's again

There's never a too many word count chapter. Publish when you feel like when the chapter is done not when pressured by folks. We as readers will read it either way so keep on writing. I myself prefer your longer chapters rather than the single page chapters. Thanks for all you do for us. Keep on writing!

Thanks, FS, for another great chapter in this fantastic storyline. It's so much fun!

Hello Kitty doesn't smile. In fact, Hello Kitty doesn't have a mouth because the original designer had a mute daughter.

You know, I have daughter (hitting her teen years now - ugh) who has plenty of Hello Kitty paraphernalia and I had NEVER notices that. Yet, I stand by the descriptor because HK is the essence of that happy feeling that was projected by Miyako that I feels really matters. Thank you for bringing it up.

Btw, Chapter 27 went to the editors last night - 32,000 words Baby! All campfire songs - no sex - no action - no dialogue - I swear. ;)

I've read your Christian College Sex Comedy previously, but I think this one takes the cake.

Witty, clever, insightful and laugh out loud funny.

It's also kept me sane - my wife had a miscarriage last week, and the absurdity (particularly the Cael-Pamela interaction) has allowed me to laugh through a situation where I might otherwise have cried/cracked up.

The storyline is so good that I don't notice (and sometimes skip) the sex, looking for the next installment of crazy.

I applaud your efforts, and hope that you keep writing until there are no words left.

=)

I wish that tragedy had passed you by. If I have helped in anyway, then it was my pleasure. If there is anything I can do, don't hesitate to ask.

I certainly hope that theres much much more of this to come.

Yeah, Ch27 has some campfires.

Still being edited but...WOW

Where do you come up with these killer lines ? Seriously, how do yo do it and at the pace that you do. I spend hours tuning language (in the context of my work) till it sounds just right, but you seem to do it effortlessly, because every installment has some great lines.

Are all the one line introductions to the chapters that you start with quotes from somewhere or do you write most of those ?

Yes, I come up with most of the dialogue on the fly. I cannot stress enough how much input I get from my neer-do-wells. When talking with them, I create snippets of make-believe conversations that turn into the lines in the story. These guys and gals inspire me. It is no so much that they give me the exact words as much as they point me in the right direction.

Possible scene:

Pamela: "What name do you go by?"

Other: "Whatever is handy."

Cáel: "Your name is 'Whatever S. Handy? How sad."

Other: "My name is not important."

Pamela: "Would you make up your mind. Is that 'Knot' with a 'K'?"

Other: "No...(mutters) "Call me whatever...I mean call me whatever name in common usage you two can remember."

Pamela: (to Cáel) "Up?"

Cáel: "Up?"

Pamela: "Yeah, it is a word in common usage, has a multitude of meanings so you are never really sure what it means...Up."

Cáel: "Works for me. Hello Up."

Other (now Up): "You two are being dicks. Do you have any friends?"

Pamela looks at Cáel who looks at her. Looking back to Up.

"Just each other."

(Or)

(A dark and stormy night at an Eastern European roadside Inn. Cael has gone to use the WC. A girl, dripping wet, with a fire axe in one hand and a burning blowtorch in the other confronts him in his awkward state)

Girl: "I've finally found you, you son of a bitch. I'm going to chop you into pieces and burn them to ashes."

Cáel: I looked over my shoulder and gave my wanker a shake. "Who are you again?" I cleaned up a bit.

Girl: "I here to kill you! Can't you get that through your thick skull?"

Cáel: "No...that isn't much help. Perhaps if you took off an article of clothing." I pulled the overhead cord, flushing the toilet then turned around completely naked.

(One hour later, back in his shared bedroom)

Virginia: (Seeing Cáel’s damp appearance) "Why did you take a shower? I thought you were going off to take a piss?"

Cáel: "Long story. Let's just say that next time I get drunk and knock boots with a bald-headed neo-Nazi chick I need to memorize something besides the tattoo on the top of her head. That, and not to tell her that 'all us Jewish boys packed this much kosher' when we were done."

Virginia (pause): "You are an idiot."

Pamela: "That's already been well established. Now go back to sleep."

(And)

(Meanwhile, back at Havenstone)

Elsa: (glares)"In the middle of a battle, did you really stand on top of an enemy HumVee and drop a napalm grenade in knowing it was packed with men and ammo?"

Cáel: (looks around evasively) "Maybe, kinda, sorta."

Elsa: "According to a preliminary reports, the explosion threw you five meters."

Cáel: "Woot! Is that a new Amazon record?"

Elsa: (growls) "Forty-six days, Bitch."

All of those scenes were made possible by readers' feedback. I do not do this (writing) alone.

The sayings at the start of every chapter: I've borrowed one, or two, but the majority are of my own creation.

i've enjoyed your stoiries very mutch. i think this one is as good as the vorkosigan series by lois mcmaster bujold.

All the editing is done on Chapter 27. I submitted it today and it came in at ten pages. I am nearly finished with Chapter 28 as well though I think I'm not touching down in Europe until Chapter 29.

For Anonymous Hungarian and Finn language have the same origin .

This story has so much depth and yet it is still erotic it made me wanna read it till the end.....(still waiting though i hope it never ends!) I signed up with this sight on a wim, but your story hooked me. I come looking every day hopeing to find a story as deep and erotic without being vulgar as yours. yours has that balance and i wait with bated breath for every chapter. hope you never loose this spark.

Great story so far but in a couple of chapters you mention blood splatter. It's blood spatter. Blood does not splat. Much love from your friendly blood spatter pattern expert .

Betcha it would splat if a bag full of blood was dropped from way up high, but as a card-carrying picker-of-nits, I'd have to agree with your friendly blood spatter pattern expert that blood spatters.

How about 'the blood spatter spattered my platter'? I'm trying to get it right.

It's like I can see you right next to me telling me "This is cool right?!?!? Man they are so cool and funny. I bet you think the same, here let me show you how funny and cool they are". As opposed to letting the characters express themselves or at least make me feel like they're talking on their own. That's why I find these conversations you write so cringy. And just in case that isn't enough, you add characters that react positively to their cringy conversations. It might look like they're having negative reactions but we all know that isn't the case. It's gross. This chapter and the last 25 haven't been any different. I've read other books with the same type of conversations but this is the first story where I get a constant barrage. The only reason I've been able to hold on is because the story is interesting.

Shall we dissect this?

It's like I can see you right next to me telling me "This is cool right?!?!? Man they are so cool and funny. I bet you think the same, here let me show you how funny and cool they are".

** No. I write for my own benefit. I like it when people like my stories, but I write for me. Some account on Literotica thinking I'm cool, or cringy, doesn't enter the equation. I reply to comments as a matter of polite discourse. You bother to comment so I bother to respond - nothing more. **

As opposed to letting the characters express themselves or at least make me feel like they're talking on their own.

** Okay. Interesting criticism. I don't like to think I write characters so one-dimensional, but ... the story is being told almost entirely from Cael's point of view. It is what he sees and hears, not what is necessarily going on. I thought that would be clear by now.**

That's why I find these conversations you write so cringy. And just in case that isn't enough, you add characters that react positively to their cringy conversations. It might look like they're having negative reactions but we all know that isn't the case. It's gross. This chapter and the last 25 haven't been any different. I've read other books with the same type of conversations but this is the first story where I get a constant barrage.

**Seriously? That is what you got out of this chapter ... and you believe every other character added to this tale until now ... they are Cael's cheer squad? **

The only reason I've been able to hold on is because the story is interesting.

** You have got to be kidding me. You find the protagonist to be both unbelievable and irritating at best and you think the supporting characters are pathetic. You claim to not like the back story yet the back story is critical to what is going on and what will happen in the future. What do you find interesting about the story?

As a hint, this is a tale of sex and violence. The protagonist is going to have plenty of both ... and he's going to be talking when both happen so expect a great deal of unhappiness on your part ~ cringing even.

He is going to suffer, but probably not enough to make you happy.

He will sleep with women you will undoubtedly believe he doesn't deserve to be with.

He will encounter numerous emotional obstacles which, in my mind, force him to mature ... and I'm sure you don't believe me, or believe I'm deluded in thinking so.

He will make mistakes and wrong assumptions because this is a POV tale and such things occur.

I think this about covers it. If your future comments are in the same vein, so be it. You find my dialogue 'cringy'. I get it. Barring some new criticism, I believe we are done. **

James aka FinalStand

It's not like I can divine what you were thinking when writing the story. That's just how I feel everything time I read dialogues meant to be funny. I feel it in other books too and it always happens when the author uses a first person view.

"Okay. Interesting criticism. I don't like to think I write characters so one-dimensional, but ... the story is being told almost entirely from Cael's point of view. It is what he sees and hears, not what is necessarily going on. I thought that would be clear by now"

It's the jokes man! It's the bloody jokes! Why the hell must you attempt to write so many bloody comedy skits lol And then even incorporate them into serious situations! God damn it, it hurts to read them.

"Seriously? That is what you got out of this chapter ... and you believe every other character added to this tale until now ... they are Cael's cheer squad?"

Of course. I mean I'm happy Cael is with Aya again, it's what I've been looking forward to half the time. But you made me cringe enough that I just had to write about that instead lol I've had countless complaints with different stories and here I can easily let them out. I sure as hell didn't expect you to answer back.

"What do you find interesting about the story?"

The arguments between "good and bad side". The combination of secret societies with Amazons. "Zero to hero" theme. Cael and Aya. And the occasional sex scene of course. As you've probably guessed I'm not deeply investing myself into this story. It's just a casual read to get some cheap thrills. Don't take it as an insult, I'm just explaining why I'm still consuming this story when I'm leaving behind so much meat.

"As a hint, this is a tale of sex and violence. The protagonist is going to have plenty of both ... and he's going to be talking when both happen so expect a great deal of unhappiness on your part ~ cringing even."

That's a given. I'm 20+ chapters in and the story has completely revolved around his personality. It's impossible to change anything. But I'm not unhappy with it. I'm just cringing. I skip when that starts happening.

"He is going to suffer, but probably not enough to make you happy.

He will sleep with women you will undoubtedly believe he doesn't deserve to be with.

He will encounter numerous emotional obstacles which, in my mind, force him to mature ... and I'm sure you don't believe me, or believe I'm deluded in thinking so.

He will make mistakes and wrong assumptions because this is a POV tale and such things occur."

Well hey, if you kill off Aya, maybe there can be some real suffering going on. No I don't want that at all lol

I never once thought he didn't deserve to be with them. I was just flustered because I didn't find it realistic. But you did say he just goes after women non stop until he hits a target. Did I skip those moments? Because not even once do I remember seeing that. In my eyes he meets women, says some cringy lines and has them in bed before I even blink. And apparently he's good enough to fuck the entire family of who ever he meets and it's as easy as breathing. I don't know about you, but I've never met anyone capable of that.

God yes. If you're setting him up to actually show he cares I'm all for it. From where I'm standing every word out of his mouth only serves to build a wall between him and the rest. Where the more he says, the faster he says it, the more complex he makes and the less sense it makes the better. If that was your intention with his character then not bad. If it wasn't, maybe it's something even better?

I'm past trying to figure out what's right or wrong. I'm just going with the flow of things.

"I think this about covers it. If your future comments are in the same vein, so be it. You find my dialogue 'cringy'. I get it. Barring some new criticism, I believe we are done."

No need to repeat myself when the author himself has replied. Thanks to that I've actually said more than I was expecting to. If anything else pops up in my mind I'll post it if I feel the need to.

Your dialogue is hysterically funny! I love it! Unlike most stories, it gets funnier every time I read it; I keep cracking up. Thanks for all the giggles and grins.

Nthusiastic

Did you mean Reinemachefrau? The Nazi stuff is all good German.

All the best for you in 2017!

I was trying to get the quote correct from the 1982 comedic tribute to the film noir detective thriller genre movie titled "Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid". Pamela and Cáel love to make references to good, bad, bizarre and obscure films in their daily, stress-filled lives. In that particular scene, one of the villains is calling the female lead a 'Cleaning Woman' in German. The actress in question is Rachel Ward ... who is, in my opinion, very hot ~ which also explains why Cáel knows the movie.

James aka FinalStand

"The woman who had started it all was back on the ground, rubbing her temple."

Ughhhh...No Cáel, you started it all. As you always do.

I was so looking forward to Aya's return to the story, but I just can't put up with Cáel anymore. This guy is a thousand times worse than Felix or those other guys could ever be. Cáel shows up at one of their most secure locations with one of the Amazon's rivals, and not just like one of their secretaries or anything, but a fucking ninja. As always he offers no respect or explanation, and so he is treated by them in kind. But because his ego is roughly the size of Australia, I have to read about another utterly pointless confrontation instead of getting some time with the cutest little amazon in the world.

I’m sorry you feel that way. If it matters, you might want to understand Cáel is only at Summer Camp … with a ninja … and an FBI agent and MI-6 operative … it is because Katrina allowed it to happen – not Cáel. Katrina does this because she wants to expand ties with Javiera’s task force and the 9 Clans. She wants to know who Delilah is really working for as well. If at any time she wanted to stop this from happening she could have done so – Cáel’s status as House Head be damned.

As for the fight in the Motor Pool … the driver was right in having a grievance because of the assholery Cael exhibited on the ride to Camp, but then she blew it by resorting to violence against him. She attacked him … because he stupidly risked his own life – no one else’s. She didn’t treat him as she would have another Amazon which was her mistake.

I apologize for Cáel’s ego antagonizing you. I am glad something about Aya sang out to you as well. She has been a definite bonus in this story as it has progressed in my mind. Also, thank you for taking the time out to give me feedback.

Take care,

James aka FinalStand

I admire the banter - well researched and funny as hell.

I also like the way that you change from a narrative to the different viewpoint from Cael - gives a lot of insight.

Finally, I cannot stop giggling - am enjoying your hard work!

In these later chapters I always get a kick out of the comments getting mad at Cael or things he does. I think the hardest part for some people is really understanding the depth of complexity the relationship ships surrounding him entail. This story started out as a sex comedy,/action /pseudo historical and it evolves at a slow pace, but it does evolve. I've read it probably 4-5 times since you started and I notice more every time I do, because every new time I read it I realize there's more to it than I initially assumed.

It's not the most complex or in depth story I've ever read, but the way you slow boil the story always takes on a night light with every read.

But what really cracks me up is you almost always explain, through Cael, in sometimes frustrating detail WHY something is happening, but people still get upset.

As always, thanks for doing what you do

I make it a habit of NEVER, EVER reading any story twice because I ALWAYS remember it, so there’s no need to revisit it but with YOUR writing, there is EVERY need! I’ve read and reread this story countless times because it’s THAT..... DAMN.... GOOD! You are a magical weaver of the written word and should publish these tales and TAKE OUR DAMN MONEY!!!!!!

Hercules was the Roman Republic adaptation when they took that culturally and historically important bit of land.

Heracles was the Greek origin that had the 'labours' only the number is disputed. The original text didn't go into the full detail of each labour while the later, better known, Roman creation would include ro disclude certain labours depending on the time period in which you pull the text from.

JC

JC, you really should apply for the position of Research laureate and put your knowledge out there for the greater community to use. I personally love applying as much of the real to our otherwise 'beyond belief' stories to weave a creation we want to believe in. Give it a thought.

I'm also reviewing what you sent me on One in Ten and thinking about a(n) (almost) polar fly-over by a crack company of British Royal Marines/Commandos (maybe with a Colour Sgt. Charlene Tomorrow in their ranks) using old, currently unused Canadian Cold War era airfields to recharge while they race to rescue the last hope for all Womankind. They would go 'over the pole' to avoid the Federation naval units coming out of Halifax plus the Danes would let them springboard off bases in Greenland along the way which would enhance the stealth aspect of the 'insertion/extraction'.

The WHO is already scrambling to remove their best assets in Europe and North Africa to more remote places such as the Azores, Iceland, northern Norway and northern & western Scotland anyway. Since the UK is healthcare 'resource rich', this makes perfect sense.

Meanwhile, being trapped in central Europe - even Switzerland - is inviting doom. If the British can actually 'secure' Patient TI0 (aka Israel Jensen) that would greatly increase the WHO's efforts to save other enclaves around the globe which are able to temporarily isolate themselves. If they could just inoculate some sailors and dockworkers on a few ships and in a few ports they can keep Humanity going on for a few more months ... which may be all they need to find a more replicateable cure.

Meanwhile, a total global travel ban is only hours away ...

Take care,

James aka FinalStand

I'm not sure what you meant by the 'Research' role, but i'd be happy to help on a story if needs be.

As for your Polar Fly-By, It would work in theme, and on my quick hodge-podge memory scan (i've been on the road with an elderly grandparent who tended to go over the same material for five and a half hours) I don't see why it wouldn't work.

It would depend on what happened to NATO during the plague and where that stands in the world now. I also saw a video today that showed how a civilian aircraft managed to slip through the radar screens of various Asian countries with the only trace available in the days after of the transport being the satellite uplink registering the plane to its parent construction agency rather than to the plane manufacturer or the government that was using the plane for civvie transport. Even then, it was only tracked on an 'hour to hour' basis and thus gives a massive potential area where an 'oops we flew off course because someone onboard was dying' smoke screen to the taxed authorities. (could be how Bethany and Co. swept in and got a nefarious neerdowell out of a sticky spot.)

Going via the pole would certainly be the 'best' route simply because it would decrease all the checkpoints/chokepoints a flight would have to slip through to get to their target destination. Not to mention that, if I read the notes right, Isreal is near old DC where the 'new capital' is now situated. Being on the 'closer' coast to the UK would certainly cut down on the timescale required for transit, with the nifty benefit of fewer coastal positions to 'skirt/bullshit' their way through.

You know where to find me if you want more details, and i'll check back in on a reply in a couple days.

Merry Xmas

JC

Cáel is a replicon Mephistophelian moppet facilitating a fascinus-based solar illumination system to replace current quantum logic clock technology....

The care you take to write brilliant prose and make it effortlessly funny is a real testament to your amazing gift.

-P

Thank you. If you have struggled through this much of the tale I feel it is my duty to make the journey entertaining.

Take care,

James aka FinalStand

Do you have any published books or working on any? My major hope in this series is that they get a real ending. Pamela is by far my favorite character. She truly comes off as a best friend and partner, I often forget that she's close to being an octogenarian haha.

Regards,

~Enkidu

This story is Jane Austin for the modern warrior. I am reading it for the second time, at a more leisurely pace.

Classic story

5/5

Another typical instalment. The story moves on yet still wrapped in humour.

Anais just the best. They are a true team with each of them enabling the other to find peace and then be the best they can be.