All Comments on 'Life Doesn't Go As Planned'

I enjoyed it very much and gave it 5 stars.

It sort of trails off in the last third. But it was OK.

BUT - each of us has the same input to our brains when we look at something; but each of us will interpret that scene differently. To quote something I read somewhere - "Life is not a destination, but - the journey!" GREAT story!

Funny how life happens what is the old saying 'man plans and God laughs'

your story is pleasant enough but I did not get a sense of drama.

Keep it up and keep writing. A proofreading used by many professionals is to read the story backwards because it forces you to focus on each word. Our brains are lazy and it reads what it expects to see and slides right over little things.

again keep writing don't let the trolls of bullies get you down. These are your stories, if they don't like what you have written they simply have to stop reading your stuff and I always suggest they go write their own books.

Butch

Good story, well written and thought out. I am assuming you are planning another part, as there was no conclusion. There are several grammatical errors, you should use a proof reader. Keep up the good work

...that's not a criticism, it was enjoyed. As I had read the first part and then looked this up, I think I'd have liked the other couple from Part 1 to have at least had another entry here, but I'm being fussy perhaps.My honest view is that the arc of this story is so wide that there was much not told. The time-frame alone asks for more novel-like treatment. But I enjoyed all the same. As others have said, careful with the grammar/punctuation: things like getting 'your' and 'you're' wrong are distractions; using 'of' instead of 'have' (as in 'I would of liked') is close to criminal in my literary critical mode. But thanks, keep going! IGH

Found this one, went back to read the other one first.

An engaging story arc, but reads like a collection of journal entries. Also, a little too obvious how it will end. This would be okay if the story were fleshed out so it's less about the destination, more about life's journey and the people making it. Practically begging to be expanded to a multi-part story. Telling the story with dialog replacing about half the exposition would accomplish that nicely while developing the characters more completely.

The shifting viewpoint of this story can work, but needs much longer chapters, if not multi-chapter sections, between a change in narrator. Life Doesn't would perhaps be better 3rd person. Whether you change to that for What Happens Here would depend on if you want a consistent style between the two.

You’ve definitely have a story in here, but it needs another draft and a good editor to help you with quotation marks, past verses present tense, and chapter formatting.

Sorry, I hate multiple POVs.

I hate them, too.

Me, as well.

I’m on the fence….

I like it a good story