Life with: Kat and Alejandro Ep. 12

*

Kat's phone buzzed on the stand beside Andres' crib. The sound immediately woke her up and she was frustrated to know she had even fell asleep. Her hand engulfed her son's and she had learned her head on the crib bed, right beside his body. She looked to Andres before she grabbed her phone hastily. She stood and quietly shuffled out of the room, so she wouldn't disturb him.

"Hello?" She asked groggily.

"I want to talk to you." Alejandro's voice was sound. Kat was immediately ticked. She didn't want to be bothered with this when her son was in the hospital. Anything Alejandro had to say to her about their crumbling marriage could wait. Andres was her first and only priority.

"I'm not in the mood— "She started tiredly.

"I need to talk to you." She swallowed and ground her back teeth in annoyance.

Alejandro was hardly ever certain of anything anymore. Since his depression, nothing had any sort of urgency. He was always like a leaf in the wind; going with whatever required the least effort from him. So, this tone of direction was unusual. It piqued Kat's interest.

"What is it?" She looked fleetingly back into the room to see if Andres had woken up yet. He was still asleep and stable, so she was free to talk to Alejandro for a few more minutes. When she turned her head back toward the hospital hall, Alejandro was directly in front of her with his phone in his fist. Kat gasped lightly at the surprise appearance.

After feeling disgusted with himself that he was in bed while Kat suffered in the hospital, he brought the kids back to his father's so that he could support Kat. Even though he didn't feel emotionally up to it, he knew it was what he had to do. It was one step toward keeping her in his life

He gestured for her to go inside the hospital room and she slowly pivoted back inside. There was only one light on in the corner, so the room was dim. Alejandro shut the door and blocked out the only bit of light left. She took her seat back at Andres' side. Alejandro pulled up a chair beside her. They both stared at their son for a silent minute.

Kat reached a hand over to stroke his soft hairline. She fought off the recurring feeling of guilt and tried to appreciate the persistent beeping that was his heart rate.

"It isn't your fault." Alejandro told her after reading her expression. He could see her eyes welling up with tears. She continued rubbing her son and staring lovingly into his profile. "I kind of think it's my fault." That was what caught her attention. She turned to him inquisitively. His hands were in his hoodie's pockets and he leaned up to get closer to her. "I took you from him—you didn't want to go on the trip without the kids, but I forced you to go." He started. "I forced you to go by promising you something different knowing that I wouldn't do anything differently." A silent tear fell down Kat's cheek.

"I'm sorry I did that to you." Alejandro looked her directly in her eyes. He desperately wanted to touch her but decided against it. "I'm sorry I made you choose between your family and your happiness. I gave up nothing and had no intentions on doing so. I could've done more for you."

Kat let a sob flow between them and she quickly reeled it back in. So, it only came out as a short, tortured sound. She hiccupped her cries and straightened her shoulders unconsciously. She wiped at her eyes and sniffled roughly. Alejandro sighed as he watched her.

He'd made her afraid to show any sort of emotion with him. It was almost as if she couldn't trust him with the rawness of her heart anymore.

"You can cry, baby. You don't need to put on a face for me." Kat looked at him for a moment as if trying to gauge just how much she believed that was true. His voice was so inviting and warm; she had missed it. Her body made the decision for her and before her mind could agree, her bottom lip trembled, and her face progressively wound up.

Alejandro grabbed her hand from her lap and brought in onto his thigh. She used her other to shield her face and muffle her cries.

"I can't promise you anything, Kat." Alejandro swallowed as he tried to find the words to expand his feelings. "But I know I don't want to separate. I need you in my life and I need you in order to get better. I am going to try harder. We can do marriage counseling or something."

"I can't do this for another six months." Kat said sympathetically, simultaneously pleading. She couldn't stand to do it again. She thought that Franco would give her the will to continue but he made it all more difficult. She knew how it felt to be desired and cared for again. The underlying message of the reminder was that she deserved more than what her husband offered. "I can't keep hating my life because you hate yours." She whispered. "I loved my life. I want to start loving it again."

Alejandro nodded in silent agreement as she spoke. He knew. He already knew what he had did to her and their relationship. But for the first time, he was completely committed to doing what he needed to fix it. "I want to try if you want to." Kat looked away from him for a second.

"Alejandro," She groaned. "Franco was a convenient, desperate thing." She said bluntly. "I have always wanted you. I've never stopped wanting to be with you."

"I know that and I'm willing to move on from it." Kat looked him sturdily in the eyes. It was hard to see him in the darkness of the room, but she felt secure with her hand in his. "Can I hug you?"

Kat gave him her answer by turning her body toward his and falling snugly into his chest. She wrapped her arms tightly around his core and he languidly rubbed the length of her back. Kat closed her eyes to settle deeper into his hold and relish in how wonderful his hold felt, despite the circumstances. Within a second, she went from deeply inhaling the smell of his sweatshirt into a deep, comforted sleep.

She woke up to find herself sharing Alejandro's seat with him. The early rising sun let light in from behind their seats against the window. He'd moved her into his chair with him while she slept.

She was still, careful not to ruin whatever this was too soon. Alejandro had her engulfed in his arms. His light snoring above her head told her he was still asleep. Her legs were over the arm on the chair on the opposite end, but her body was entirely supported by her husband. She would've stayed that way for another couple of hours, but the sound of Andres' heart monitor alerted her.

It was beeping uncontrollably, and it had set off an alarm for the nurses. Kat broke out of Alejandro's arms and raced to the crib's edge. A few seconds later, Alejandro was following suit.

He was awake for the first time. Kat almost forgot about the monitor when she saw Alejandro's big brown eyes staring back up at her. He fidgeted roughly, and she realized he was trying to break free from all the tubes and wires attached to him.

"I know, baby." Kat cooed to him while rubbing over his stomach and legs. Alejandro grabbed the monitor's screen and tried to interpret all his vitals. Kat looked to him expectantly. The nurses burst through the door right after.

"He's just panicking." Alejandro said. "He's fine." He told Kat specifically. The nurse approached Andres from the other side of the crib. She moved her hands so that she could work on Andres. As soon as she pulled away, he let out a huge, bellowing wail. Kat's heart broke in her chest.

"Mama's right here." She said, trying to keep eye contact with him as the nurse occasionally blocked their line of view. "I love you, Andres." She wanted to push her out the way and wrap him in her arms. She wanted to show him that she was finally there to protect him the way she she'd always wanted to.

"Can we get rid of the unnecessary so that she can hold him? We don't need the oxygen or the IV; she can breastfeed when the mask is off." Alejandro told the nurse as he walked to wash his hands at the sink in the corner. He dried them and walked back over to where Kat stood. She stepped aside even further to let Alejandro look at him. She trusted him to be raw and honest about what their son needed.

"Well—I'll need to speak to Dr.— "The nurse was in the midst of replying when another voice interjected. The doctor from the night before had walked in with a clipboard in hand.

"Whatever he wants, you can do." Dr. Perez reassured. They all leaned over the crib and shielded Andres from her view. The murmured to one another in medical terms she fought to keep up with. Andres' crying was constant, and Kat bit her nails from the anxiety.

"MRI and CAT scans were normal. He will be discharged no later than this afternoon." Kat sighed a sigh of relief she'd been holding since she got the phone call in the hotel room. "I have those for you to look at if you want to see them." Dr. Perez spoke to Alejandro.

Alejandro had used Dr. Perez's flash light to look into Andres' eyes. "No, I trust you. We just want to get him home."

*

Kat curled into herself on the couch with her baby. She'd held him since the minute they were able to leave the hospital. Alejandro was in the kitchen cooking dinner for her and the kids. Eduardo was on his way to drop them off after keeping them while they were in the hospital.

Kat heard a knock at the front door. Alejandro had rounded the kitchen's corner to answer it. "I'll get it." She said gently. She tried to stand while balancing Andres in her arms. Alejandro watched her as she struggled.

"Just stay there." He suggested. Kat had to admit, he was trying his best to give her a break from everything while she tried to get back to normal. He'd offered to cook and take care of anything she needed him to do so she could stay with her baby as long as she needed.

"I want to talk to your dad; I'll go." She stood to her full height and nestled Andres into the crook of her arm.

She had some things to say to Eduardo. Her father-in-law had been nothing but a blessing to her and her family since the day she married Alejandro. He offered himself whenever he could to help out and never complained. It weighed heavy on Kat's heart to know she'd blamed him for the near-death of her son. She hated that she put that guilt on him to make herself feel better for the choices she'd made. She owed him a sincere apology, and this was her chance to give it.

"You don't need to say anything, Kat. He knows— "Alejandro tried his best to defend her. Kat was thankful for the effort.

"I'm fine." She replied. "It's okay." She hustled over to the door before he could get a chance to reply. Kat opened the front door with her open hand and Eduardo stood between Maribel and Diego. She could see they were still wary about the level of affection she was able to provide them, but it was clear they were excited to see their baby brother awake and in good health.

"Hi, sweet peas." Kat greeted with a smile. They rushed into her thighs and hugged her tightly from below. Kat used her free hand to embrace them as much as the baby would allow. "I missed you so much." She mumbled to them. She kissed their heads lightly right before they let her go.

"Is he okay?" Maribel asked quietly. Kat nodded.

"Yes, he's fine. You can hold him in a few minutes." They were always excited to hold their brother and even more excited to do it now.

"M—me too, Kat?" Diego asked, his eyes full of hopeful concern.

"Of course, baby. Both of you go wash your hands and I'll bring him in a second." They were off within an instant to do as she asked. Their shoes stomped on the floor below them and there was light bickering about who would go first. The classic sounds brought her much needed comfort.

Eduardo nervously shifted on his feet on the other side of the door's frame. He held the kid's bags and he just silently held them out for her to take. Kat felt terrible that she'd made him feel this way. He seemed scared and uncertain about his interactions with her. The embarrassment she felt was overbearing; she couldn't believe she'd treated him the way she had.

She took the bags from him and sat them beside the door.

"Come sit, Eduardo." Kat stepped onto their covered porch with her bare feet. She wore shorts and a tee shirt which had been perfect for the early summer weather and a day of snuggling her son.

They each took a seat on the rocking chairs she'd had outside the house. She outstretched her arms for Eduardo to hold his second grandson. He didn't accept her offer. He looked between her and Andres a few times before shaking his head lightly with a tense smile.

"Not yet." He whispered. Kat practically threw him into Eduardo's arms with every intention of Eduardo catching him. He did not disappoint and cradled him expertly in his arms. Once he grew familiar with the feel of his body, he visibly relaxed. Kat watched him gaze lovingly into his face.

"I want to apologize to you." Kat started. Eduardo abruptly looked to Kat. "I shouldn't have spoken to you the way I did. You saved his life and I am forever indebted to you for that." Eduardo's eyes welled up with tears and he did his best to conceal them.

"You don't need to apologize." He started. "I know you were scared and worried—like me. I was supposed to be responsible for them and I failed you." He said tightly. Kat shook her head as he spoke.

"No—that isn't true at all. You saved his life. If you done anything differently, I probably wouldn't have him here with me." The risk of SIDS was either death or severe brain damage. She was lucky to have avoided both scenarios and that was only because Eduardo had been so quick to act. "You did everything right. Thank you. I am so sorry."

Kat leaned up from her seat to place a sweet peck on Eduardo's cheek. He smiled adorably from where he sat. It was the welcoming smile that Kat knew so well, and she was happy to have seen it again.

"Hungry? Alejandro is making dinner. I'd love for you to stay." Kat asked, hopeful. Eduardo took a beat, as if he were considering the proposal. He pursed his lips and tightened his eyebrows. Kat was somewhat on edge.

Then finally, he nodded his head and gave her a smile that told her he wouldn't want to be anywhere else.