All Comments on 'Light of Dawn Ch. 05'

I have been an earnest fan of ur writing for sometime...

but, somehow, something is different here... it's just not doing the work... something is missing... maybe it's me.. nevertheless, the story sounds so stereotyped that it hardly matches the expectations a reader has had from u...

however, it's just my feelings.. keep on writing.. maybe, some other story would find u in great forms again..

and, do notice that it's not just me, .. as far as i can remember, ur stories have never rated so low...

just my thoughts...

You took a self centered young man who enjoyed using people to satisfy his own needs and used his kid sister to turn him around and let him see the error of his ways . Very well done .

Very nice story, I liked it a lot. I do want to see what happens to next day though. Well done.

At first I wasn't sure about this one, Jeff was such an ass. But he's actually growing on me now. Just hope he doesn't do an about-face and turn back into a dickhead again, at least not to Dawn. Please let them find love together, he deserves it, if anyone does.

I had to read this a few times before I left a commment. Like the first commenter, I thought something was missing. Mostly, my issue was that there seems like both Dawn and Jeff don't seem engaged. They seemed detached. But upon the second and third reading, it started to make sense and by the end, they didn't seem like they were detached at all. As noted in another chapter, this story is different from your earlier stories, but I rather like it because it is different. I continue to look forward to more of this story.

I started at the beginning and got to this chapter, somehow declining to finish myself off. And by the time I finished this one I almost passed out.

good chapter still but kisses were too few especially when they actually DID IT.

just found this series, and i've been reading it all day. glad to finally get rid of some of that anticipation! also, i'm pleased to see jeff changing at the very end.

all the little details of your stories are so endearing and well-placed. for example, the way dawn pushes back Jeff's bangs and asks if he's finished. those things contribute so much to the quality of your writing. i've read the series before, but decided to return to them today. reading them is twice as satisfying the second time!

That was amazing. You are one gifted bastard. :)

just...wonderful

again this sory is amazing i love the way the story rised up to the climax

for once jeff is starting to feel for his kid sister. cant wait to read the rest of this story.

Really well written and good, believable characters. I really don't like Jeff and understand Dawn and find her hard to fathom at the same time. It's a good read, if not comfortable!

In a word - conflicted!

very well-written. its a great story line. and i like the goodguy/bad guy approach. although Jeff softened a little - lets face it - he's still a prick. i wonder where we go from here.

What a horrible ass he is comeuppance coming soon, hers too

(4/3/2022) What story are you reading Wargamer? Jeff will need to work for his redemption and what has Dawn done to deserve to be punished? What? That she wanted Jeff the douchebag? Great story but the chapters are too short, IMO. Five stars from me.

All my life I was brushed aside by nice girls as they threw themselves at douchebags just like Jeff. They were used and abused. They would break up with one douchebag only to turn around and make the same mistakes again and again. I lost any respect for them that I might have once had. mrdata9770 thinks that this is a great story, but I don't. It's a painful reminder for me that I was totally unable to save several females from themselves. I guess that in retrospect, they didn't deserve a good man like me to begin with.