All Comments on 'Lily's Awakening Pt. 04'

This could have been in part 3 for a longer chapter.

Let the lady take her time unravelling Lily's journey - I have a feeling it will pay off

C4U : you still need a bit more practice with punctuation and separating characters' internal narratives from their spoken words - but that's basic mechanics with which an editor could help.

Storyline itself has a nice arc to it, and while I realize that this is fantasy erotica it's not necessary to endow all the family with monster cocks and DDD breasts - of course being on the bottom end if that bell curve myself, my pet peeve is no doubt to a degree simple jealousy. Just looking at my extended family, I know for certain that there are lots of big busted gals out there - the horse-cocks, I'll just have to guess are not completely mythical

The story has so many potential leads, but all you're doing is not turning people on. You're typing about gay sex? What 18 year old sees gay sex in their daily life?

I'm still frustrated about no punctuation.

Get it together!

I luv this story. Joe's cock reminds me of my Dad's. He too is a great fuck!