by Lost Boy
First time for what? Losing his virginity to a whore? Interesting story. 2 stars. Well ok 3
you goofed in the 1st part of the story, you said he put the papers back in the secret box after he took pics of them, then when she checked her secret box you said it was empty.As for his 1st time fucking it was clear it was a rape as she said she didn't do sexual things and he did the things to her she said she wouldn't do as he controlled her with the collar. so he turned out just to be a low life rapist even if his stepmom was a serial killer, he wasn't much better then her His 1st rape? he still kept the collar to use again maybe to do another rape?and one more goof, the cops always put cuffs on the wrist behind their back, not the front of them.only a dumb rookie would make that mistake. I gave it 2 stars, it could be a good story if you rewrite it
not looking at the nitpickers, this was one of your best pieces outside of the shaw verse ever. I enjoyed this very much even as dark as it was. it was impressive.
This is my first time going into a darker genre. The shift in the protagonist was on purpose. In the end he wasn't supposed to come out untouched. I wanted a flawed young man that succumbs to temptation. If i were to continue it he might fall even further, I don't know. I admit that this one was a bit rushed. I should have done a few more rereads to catch mistakes. Thank you for pointing them out. I grow from my mistakes.
Not your usual story but a good read. This is what makes you a Master Story Teller .I like how you linked it with Doll Collar . I hope you get your list of stories that you are going to do out soon .You know what my pick is (ha ha ha) . Thanks for the story can't wait to see what's next .....Good luck my friend .....
Damn fine story! Darker than your others but really nice none the less. Thanks for sharing it with us.
First of your stories I've read, it was good, so I'll try some more !
5 Stars from me.
Rapier