Little White Lies

"I won't have this conversation with you. I told you nothing happened but you won't believe me and that's your problem. Get over it!"

"Fine. Then we have nothing more to talk about and sex is out of the question now. If that's how you want it, fine!"

I got up and went upstairs to grab my pajamas and went into the spare room to sleep. I slammed the door and locked it. I lay down on he bed naked and alone and finally fell asleep with strange dreams coming and going. I dreamed of Sunny and I making love one night in the den while JJ was sleeping and then I saw Sunny with another man whose face I couldn't see. At one point, I was with Satin and then she and Sunny were both there. None of my dreams made any sense and I woke the next morning exhausted and angry. It was Friday.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

Sunny was up and downstairs with JJ when I went in to get dressed for work. I remembered my dinner with Satin so I took an extra shirt and suit downstairs with me when I was ready. I took them into the garage and then went into the kitchen for coffee before I left. I saw JJ in his chair and Sunny at the table helping him eat. She didn't look up as I entered but JJ waved his spoon at me with a grin. I went to him and kissed his head as he went back to his cereal.

I grabbed a cup of coffee and rather than waste any time trying to be civil, I just said my goodbyes as I went out the door. I probably wouldn't be home tonight much before 11:00 so I would miss JJ but it wouldn't be the first time. I left with misgivings but I was determined to finish this. I was surprised by the tears in my eyes as I pulled out of the drive.

Friday at work was a disaster. Jerry was in court and Polly was standing by to handle any emergencies that came up while he was gone and Janie was home with her sick husband so I had no time to think of anything while I fielded phone calls. In between those, I tried to work on my caseload but not much was getting accomplished. I have to admit that it certainly took my mind off of my troubles for a while. Before I realized it, it was almost 3:30 and I had not even stopped for lunch. I talked Polly into going out for both of us while I handled the phones. We were able to eat between crisis and the day went by with neither of us starving.

I finally was able to finish my case requirements and was able to consider stopping. The phones had quit ringing, Polly had gone for the day and Jerry was unlikely to come back to the office. Since it was just after 6:00, I decided to change and go out for a drink. I had planned on meeting Satin at 7:00 anyway so I thought a drink before would be nice.

I was sitting in the bar just past 6:30, nursing a second scotch neat when Satin slid onto the stool next to me. I looked up in surprise since I had not expected her this early. She looked lovely as usual and this time was much more casually dressed. I looked at her in surprise.

"You're not dressed. Is something wrong? Are you canceling our dinner date?"

She smiled at me and took my hand in hers. She seemed not to be bothered by anything so I was confused.

"No Sean, I'm not canceling our date, just dinner. I thought I might find you here early so I decided to offer you an alternative to dinner here at the restaurant. Would you like to come to my apartment for a catered dinner? I have ordered lobster and steak for us with a nice bottle of Chianti for later."

She watched my face for my reaction and smiled gleefully when she saw my surprise. She had obviously planned this in advance. I thought about it but saw no reason to refuse so I happily accepted her invitation. We left arm in arm to a waiting taxi, which delivered us to a very uptown address. This was obviously where she lived, and I wished I could afford something that nice.

We went up to her apartment on the 7^th floor. It was quite a place with more than 1500 sq. feet of space. I was impressed with the decor and with her taste in furniture. It made my home seem pedestrian by comparison. She showed me around and we finally went into the dinette to find a small table already set for two. She asked me to sit down and went to begin serving dinner. Everything was magnificent and I ate as if I was starving. I noticed that she did quite well and didn't seem to deny herself much. We finished and both sat back pleasantly sated.

She led me into the living room where she served us coffee. I declined desert in favor of a glass of after dinner cognac. I wondered what was coming next. I didn't have long to wait as Satin rose and said that she was going to get comfortable. She left and reappeared in a very sheer satin gown that hid virtually nothing. It was a pale peach color and I could see a black lace bra and a black thong underneath. She moved to the couch where I was sitting and sat down beside me.

"All I can say is, Wow! You look fabulous."

"Thank you sir. I love compliments and if you keep giving them out you can have anything you want." She was not smiling and the look she gave me caused my groin to twitch and my temperature to rise. I had to be very careful here.

"Satin, this isn't what I was looking for and you know that. What are you trying to do to me?"

"I think you know very well what I am trying to do to you. I don't think you are confused at all." With that, she reached down to the bulge in my pants and squeezed very gently.

"It seems we have no problem communicating at all."

"I told you I was married and I was only trying to make my wife jealous enough to confess to her affair. If I do this, I'm no different than she is."

"Why do you want to be if she isn't? This way both of you start from the same place. You can either both confess or both deny. What's the harm if you just go forward from there? This is a one-time thing with no strings attached. You know what I am so I won't be a problem for you."

I wasn't really listening to her rationalizations. She was so beautiful and I was only human and I had no chance at all. I pulled her to me and kissed her hard as my hands slid under the straps of her gown and slid them down her arms. She smoothly shrugged the straps the rest of the way off and took my hand and placed it on her breast. She pulled my mouth tightly to her breast as my other hand found the warm place between her legs. She spread her legs apart slightly to allow me entrance while she unzipped my pants. She reached one small hand inside to find my engorged cock. With a small sound of pleasure, she pulled me up to my feet and pushed me back.

She stood before me and began to remove the rest of her lingerie. Underneath she had on the smallest thong I had ever seen and her bra was already gone. As she moved away from the discarded gown, I saw the body of one of the most beautiful women I had ever seen. She was tall, at 5'7", long beautifully shaped legs, a tiny waist and full breasts. Her skin was tanned a golden brown and her blond hair was now loose and flowing over her shoulders. I could see her mound and noticed no dark patch. She was completely shaved.

She moved toward me and proceeded to undress me slowly and sensuously. It was erotic as hell and I just watched her as she stared into my eyes. She knew what she was doing and within just a few minutes, she had me naked and aroused. At this point, I was lost. I couldn't have refused her anything nor did I want to. As I watched her, she dropped to her knees in front of me and took me in her hands. I watched in fascination as she stroked my cock until it was as hard as I could ever remember. At that point, she took me in her mouth and I was transported to heaven.

While Sunny had often been willing to give me oral, she didn't like it much and she never initiated it. Here Satin was giving me a blowjob unlike any I had ever had before. I was brought to the verge and then denied then back to the verge, over and over. Satin knew how to pinch just the right places to stop my climax just before it took over. She was able to keep me in a state of arousal for what seemed like hours as I reached for that relief that she continued to deny me. As I became more and more frustrated, she stopped and led me to the bedroom.

She had one of the largest beds I had ever seen. It was larger than a king size and oval instead of rectangular. And, yes, she had a mirror over the bed. She pushed me onto my back and had me move toward the top of the bed. As I lay back, she moved over me and mounted me with her knees on either side of my waist. As I looked into her eyes, she rose up, took my eager cock in her hand and lowered herself onto me. She took me in one smooth motion, no foreplay and no preparation. I found her to be wet and willing and I was surprised at how tight she seemed to be to have taken me so easily. While I was not long, I was quite thick and Sunny had often commented on it. She even seemed to be uncomfortable at times unless we used lubricants.

As Satin began to ride me, I looked up to the mirror and watched. It was something I had never seen before and it took me a second to realize that I was watching myself having sex. God, it was something else, as was Satin. She was as good at fucking as she was at giving blowjobs. She rode me slowly at first, giving me time to enjoy the feeling and then beginning to go faster and faster. I could feel her cheeks against my balls on each down stroke and the feelings were wonderful. I began to respond by driving my hips up to meet her and she moaned her approval.

We continued in this way for longer than I expected to be able to stay with her but much too soon I felt the beginnings of my coming climax. My balls began to contract and I could feel the liquid moving through my canals looking for an outlet. I warned Satin that I was cumming but she smiled and continued to ride me hard and fast. I lasted only a few more seconds and then it came. It was one of the most pleasurable climaxes I had ever experienced. I came and came until I was completely drained. Satin took it all and never stopped until I began to shrink. As I did, she slowly rose up and let me slide from her depths. She rolled over onto her side and watched me as I regained my hold on reality. She smiled at me as I came down from an incredible high.

"Do you feel better now? I think that you should. You were very good, you know. You should be proud of yourself. Few men can stay with me that long."

She watched me with a smile. For some reason, I actually believed what she said. Maybe that was part of her charm: she could make you feel good about yourself. No matter, I did!

"Would you like to shower now or would you like to remain here for a while? If you would like to stay here, I would be willing. The choice is yours, but I don't know what you told your wife about time."

It surprised me for a second, talking about my wife until I remembered what Satin was. She was so good that you could forget.

"I think a shower and then I should go. Thank you for this though, it was probably what I needed." I pulled her face to mine and kissed her softly. She responded in kind and I let her go as I walked to the shower. It was like the rest of the apartment: out of this world.

It was an hour later, close to 10:30 when the cab dropped me off at the restaurant where I had left my car. I felt very strange but good. I sat in my car for a few minutes and thought about the evening. I wondered at my lack of guilt. I had cheated on Sunny with full knowledge of what I was doing. I felt no guilt and no shame about what I had done. I had fucked a beautiful woman in her apartment and I felt good about it. I started the car and drove home.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

As I pulled into the garage at half past 11 that evening, I wondered what I would tell my wife. I would not tell her the truth because I wanted her to confess her affair first. I was not going to let up until she confessed.

I went into the kitchen from the garage to a quiet house. The lights were off downstairs and the kitchen was clean and bare. I had expected Sunny to leave me some coffee since she knew I always wanted coffee when I came home. Strange that she would not have it on the stove. Oh, well.

I walked into the den, expecting that Sunny would be sitting there as she had the last time I went out. She wasn't there and there was no sign she had been. With a strange feeling, I went up the stairs to our bedroom to find Sunny but she was not there. I walked into JJ's room and he was gone as well, along with his blanket and his favorite toy. Now I was beginning to be concerned. Where was she and where was JJ? I looked again in the kitchen and the den for some note or letter but there was nothing. I checked the phone but there was no message light. Where in the hell could she be? I went to the phone and called her mothers' house. When she answered, I asked her if Sunny was there. She just laughed and said no but too bad she wasn't. She hung up on me.

I was now beginning to worry. Sunny hadn't said anything about tonight earlier but then I remembered that she hadn't spoken to me this morning when I left. She gave me no clue as to what she was up to. Now what could I do? Where else could she be? I thought about Judy and Carol. I would call Judy first. I found her number and called but got no answer. She wasn't in apparently so I called Carol. Again, no answer. Could they be out together? No, JJ was with her.

I sat there in the kitchen, wondering what was going on? There was no way Sunny could have left me, but just to be sure, I checked her closet and found all of her clothes still there. All of JJ's stuff was there as well. So, she hadn't walked out on me. But why would she? And then I began to think about what I had done and where I was. A quick flash of guilt but then it was gone. Sunny couldn't know about that already, could she? Of course not. But then I thought of tonight. Was it possible that Sunny knew about Satin and that they had planned what happened? Now I was being paranoid.

I fixed myself some coffee while I thought about this. I had no clue as to what she had done or where she had gone. I knew she was angry but so was I. She was lying to me and I had been lying to her but I came home. Where was she? I was becoming frustrated now. I thought again about Satin and what I had done. Again, I felt a twinge of guilt that did not go away quite as fast as before. I had actually cheated on Sunny and with no more reason than suspicion of her. No facts and no proof but my suspicion was enough for me to cheat on her. If I cheated on her, it meant that I didn't think fidelity was that important? Maybe she had cheated, but why would that excuse me doing it too? That didn't make a lot of sense: two wrongs making a right? Hardly.

By now, I realized that I had made a very bad mistake. I had willingly cheated on my wife and jeopardized my marriage. If she had cheated, I had a right to know but it didn't give me the right to commit adultery too. I had led her to believe I was having an affair only to convince her to tell me the truth about her supposed affair. Why did I allow it to progress into active adultery on my part? I had no answer other than weakness on my part. But really, hadn't I tempted fate by hiring Satin in the first place? Sex was her job and she was good at it. I should have known I had no chance against her. My intent was transparent now and I realized that I had gone out deliberately to cheat as revenge, not a stupid plan to trick my wife!

I checked the time and found it was after midnight. No sunny and no JJ. I lay down on the couch in the den with my worry and uncertainty until exhaustion finally let me sleep.

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<

I awoke hours later feeling the warm sun hit my face. I was uncertain where I was for a moment until the previous night came rushing back. I jolted upright and tried to get my mind working again. I looked around but saw nothing except my jacket on the back of the couch. I sat up, holding my head until I could stand. I walked slowly toward the kitchen suddenly smelling coffee! I hurried to the kitchen to see Sunny sitting at the table with a cup of coffee waiting for me, and JJ in his chair with cereal.

"Good morning Sean. You'd better have your coffee because you look like shit!"

"Where the hell were you last night? I came home and you were both gone. No note, no message, nothing. How could you do that to me?"

"Where were you? You didn't leave me a note or tell me where you were. Why is it OK for you but not for me?"

"You knew I was working last night. I told you that."

"No, you told me you were going to be out with the 'guys' again but you never told me where you would be. I don't think you wanted me to know."

"That's bull! I was at Caesar's and I know I told you that before."

I was clearly not up to this but Sunny was not going to let it drop. I still didn't know where she was and now she had the upper hand with her questions. I needed to regain the advantage.

"I want to know where you were. You can't do that to me again. I was scared out of my mind worrying about you and JJ."

"Is that why you called me earlier to tell me you were going to be so late? Is that why you left the number so I could contact you in an emergency? Is that why, Sean? Of course not since you didn't do any of those things."

She had turned it against me again and I had no answer. I looked at her, sitting there calmly after scaring me out of my wits. She had a slight smile on her face that didn't reach her eyes. This was a Sunny I hadn't seen before.

"I'm going to take a shower and change out of these clothes. We'll talk more later."

I went upstairs completely confused and still feeling the guilt of deliberately cheating on Sunny. I had no idea of what to do now. My plan to convince her to confess had gone way too far and now I was guiltier than she was. I couldn't take the moral high ground and wait for her to confess. I was at a loss.

I came down later feeling more human and decided to let things alone as long as possible while I played with JJ and did some things around the house. I needed time to reconcile my confused feelings.

Soledad

Sean's behavior had made me angry. He had his suspicions that I had done something wrong but he had no proof. I had made a mistake and I knew it but I also knew that it would never happen again and that Sean would never know about it. There was no reason to tell him. It would cause him too much pain and for no purpose. He already didn't trust me so telling him would gain me nothing. I was sorry but it was because I forgot and put myself into a situation that allowed me to be seduced by a stranger who complimented me and got me drunk and took advantage. I would never allow that to happen again and I would remember that night as long as I lived.

I called Carol and told her that Sean was going to be busy so I wanted to go out to dinner that night and wanted to go to Caesar's. Carol was OK with that and suggested we also invite Judy. I was happy to have Judy join us and we made plans to meet later. I told her that I would bring JJ to her place so that her niece could baby sit. I did that often and she loved JJ. She said she would pick JJ and me up around 7:00.

We went to dinner and even though we stayed until after 9:00, Sean never showed up. I never mentioned to Carol that I expected to see him there so she suspected nothing. I still wanted to keep her out of it as long as possible. As we got ready to leave, I excused myself and went to the entrance to see the headwaiter. I asked him if he had a reservation for Sean Ballard and he confirmed that there was one earlier that had been cancelled. He mentioned that Phyllis might have some idea since she usually seated him and his party. I found Phyllis and spoke at length with her.