Living with a Double-Edged Sword

Thirty minutes later, the beautiful vision that Sydney was, was slowly making her way towards him. She stood, and in those few seconds was debating where she should sit and opted for his lap. They bundled up with the blankets again and this time, Ray asked for her story.

She told him of her parents meeting in college. She told him about her little sister and her being the best of friends and how they helped eachother in school. Life for them was quiet, but pleasant and they were and still are a happy, loving family. Sydney couldn't help but smile all throughout her tale as Ray held her close and didn't show any signs of wanting to let go. This was what she wanted. He listened intently, gave his input, and made her feel at home.

The hours felt like mere minutes and they were both surprised when her phone ruined the tender moment they were still sharing.

"Oh! It's my mom, one sec."

Sydney quickly left and after 10 minutes that went by agonizingly slow, she was back. "I got time for some more snuggles, but I'm expected back for dinner. Not that I don't want to eat dinner with my family, it is tradition. Plus, you gotta drive me back to Nancy's since we got here in your car."

"Shit, you're right. How long do we have?"

"An hour or so? It's a little after 6 and dinner's usually between 7-8."

"Okay, cool."

Ray got her in his arms again and barraged her with his fingers in her sides. Her laughs filled the room and by the time his attack ended, she retaliated with one of her own. They wrestled on the couch and ended up on the floor. She was straddling his lap and could feel something poking her. Ray was thankful that she didn't make a big deal out of it and was surprised to find her rubbing his "sore spot."

With her face inches from his, he decided to make his move. He tenderly put his right hand on the back of her head and slowly, but surely brought her lips to his. It was a tender moment that was quickly interrupted by the quietest of poots.

Sydney quickly ended the kiss and brought the hood on the sweatshirt she was borrowing over her face and hid herself away.

"Sydney? Did you just-"

"No!"

He started to laugh and the embarrassment was killing her. She started to pound on his chest and had a fierce look in her eyes as she came out of hiding. "So-so what if I did?! If we're gonna date and get closer, we may as well get that out of the way!"

She immediately realized what she just said and hid away again. Ray was quiet and she took that as a bad sign. When he sighed she just thought, "Welp, we had a good run. I just had to ruin it, didn't I?"

"I'd like that, Sydney. Lemme take you out, on a proper date and we'll make it official."

It was then that a squeal that definitely had the potential to do severe damage to his ears reverberated through him. He was more than thankful that she had her head hidden on his chest at that moment.

When she got up and gave him a swift kiss, Ray knew that he'd made the right decision. "Really?! You really mean that?"

"Of course I do, Sydney. You think I bring just any girl up to my place? You're the first and hopefully the last.."

Sadly, he wasn't prepared the next squeal that hit his ears directly and the fists that pounded down on him. But again, he had no regrets. She was more than happy, and they'd made it "official" in a sense.

They went back to their hard and sensuous kisses but time was their enemy once again. The distinct ringing of her cellphone brought them out of the spell and she sighed. "Okay, big guy, we gotta go."

Try as they might, they couldn't stop the sadness from enveloping them as they made their way over to Nancy's. What was a wonderful day had turned into a sullen night. When Ray parked next to the Corolla she'd pointed out as hers, he turned and saw tears forming in her eyes. "Aww, Syd, it'll be fine. If anything, you got things to remember today by. I'm with you in spirit."

He brushed the tears away with his fingers and tried his best not to get too emotional himself. He hated it when women cried. It was too much to bear at times; especially when he cared for them.

"You're right, I'm sorry. Oh, wait! Can I have your number? I just realized we never exchanged our info."

The way she smiled with the tears in her eyes killed him. Ray wasn't sure if she was the one, but he'd be damned if he didn't try to find out.

They quickly texted eachother, took photos for the contact's profile picture and she made her way over to her car.

15 minutes later, Sydney was home and was sadder than ever; but happier than she'd felt in so long. She wanted to cry at the loss she felt, but wanted to scream with joy at getting close to Ray. Dinner was uneventful and as soon as she got to her room, she immediately texted him. Sadly, she didn't get anything back and after an agonizing 10 minutes passed, she was surprised but not saddened when she got a FaceTime call from him. She quietly squealed to herself and picked up.

Both of their faces brightened up at seeing the other and they made small talk. For one thing, she loved how Ray called her Syd. He was the one and only person who'd attempted it and each and everytime he did, it gave her butterflies. Right as it hit 11, she noticed Ray yawning and knew he'd have to get in early to Nancy's. She grudgingly let him go and was filled with more butterflies at taking her out on a proper date soon.

As Ray woke up the next day, he felt better than he had in quite a long time. Things were looking up. He quickly ate a bowl of cereal and got ready for opening up Nancy's. And lo and behold, what a better way to start the day when he saw his lovely lady waiting for him. Try as she might to seem casual, she couldn't help but run up to him and get him in her vice grip. She giggled when he picked her up and gave her forehead some kisses. "Now that's a great start to my morning!"

Syd dreamily looked up into his eyes and claimed her kiss for the day. "Now that is what I'd call a great start to the day."

They smiled and just before he pulled out his keys, the doors kicked open with Nancy herself smiling. Mouths open, they let go of the other and shuffled inside where it was warm. No one was saying anything so Nancy chose to break the silence with her eloquence. "So, I take it that y'all are lovebirds now?"

Syd giggled and nodded while Ray blushed. Nancy chuckled to herself and gave each of them a hug. She told him to get everything ready and he stole another kiss from his lovey lady before he set out to do his duties. Syd awkwardly stood next to Nancy and before she could broach the subject of their relationship, she was surprised to hear, let alone see Nancy sniffling with tears in her eyes. When Nancy turned towards her, she said, "I'm so glad Ray found a nice girl like you. He was a bundle of nerves before you and I know you're great for eachother. You won't burn him like the last one did."

That was a surprise; Syd realized that they'd never really talked about their past relationships. The time they had was limited and it never really came up. "Wait, his ex treated him badly, or?"

"I honestly don't know, hon. If anything, that was always something he didn't wanna talk about. For all the years I've known him, he's never once talked about 'her.'"she put air marks around 'her' and Syd couldn't help but wonder about that. "Was it that bad?"

"Worse, hon. Everybody's got a breaking point, and 'she' wrecked him. His heart was broken. He was steadily putting it back together and I firmly believe that you will be there once it's whole again."

With wide eyes, Syd could only say, "I-I don't know what to say..Thank you."

She was hit with jealous pangs again and tried her best to shove them aside. This woman obviously cared for about Ray and knew more than she did. But as much as she wanted to feel threatened by her, she didn't. This woman more than cared for Ray; and that's what mattered.

Nancy was carefully watching this young one before her. In a way, she was testing her. She'd wanted to see how she'd react and thankfully she'd passed with flying colors. "Oh, hon. You don't have to worry. Ray's family to me. He's like the son I never had. We're family."

Syd couldn't help but blush with embarrassment at that and was more than grateful when Ray chose that moment to cut into their conversation. "So, how are my two favorite ladies doing?"

Nancy laughed, and Syd joined in. "We're good, thank you Ray."

He hustled off as the customers were starting to get in. The both of them kept to themselves and talked about Ray until Syd had to leave for her class. She waited patiently 'til Ray was somewhat free and he could tell she had to go. So what he did next surprised her, Nancy, and every other woman in there that pined for him. He gently pulled her face up and gave her a lingering kiss with a promise for more later. You could hear the collective sighs that filled the cafe as they watched. Syd practically floated out the door to the college as Ray watched with a small smile. This became a pattern for weeks to come and on the end of their third week, they had their first fight.

"What d'you mean, you don't want me to stay the night?!" Tried as she might, every time Syd had brought up the subject, Ray would always sidestep around it and change it up. After the second time, it had started to create a wound and she couldn't help but feel the hurt every time he'd turn down her offers.

Ray wasn't one to rush things and after three weeks, he still wasn't ready to do "the deed." Syd had wormed her way into his heart, but he still doubted as to whether or not she felt as strongly about him as he did for her. He knew after that first day that he was in love. He hated that he was too scared to say three words that had the power to make or break a relationship. But he'd seen numerous couples that had been together longer than he and Syd end up in shambles after someone said "I love you."

After he'd dodged the subject again, Syd was determined to get an answer. It was scary, but she knew she loved him and she knew that he loved her. What was stopping them from sealing the deal? Was he one of those guys that liked leading girls on? No, he was the best man she knew and knew that something else was holding him back. She was patient, but she had reached that point of no return. And sadly, she chose then to cross 'the line' she told herself she shouldn't and wouldn't.

"Look, I know you've been burned before but I'm not her, okay?! After all this time how can you still doubt me?!!?!"

Tears stung her eyes and she looked defiantly into the shocked eyes of the man that she loved. She couldn't believe that those lovely brown of his that were filled with worry turned into cold, hard eyes that she knew held no sympathy.

Ever since he'd "saved" her from falling, he hadn't used "it" in so long but just like then, he reflexively teleported a few feet from the couch. She was stunned that he'd done that.

He stared right back into her eyes and said, "Look. I don't know what you've heard, but 'she' or whoever the hell you think is holding me back doesn't exist. Okay?"

Syd was hurt. He'd never raised his voice at her and thought it best if she left. The problem was that he was her ride. She elected to figure things out later. Ray was surprised when she grabbed her overnight bag and without looking back said, "Look, Ray. You can lie to me all you want. But don't lie to yourself." And just like that, she was gone with the door slamming.

Ray was left to his thoughts and begrudgingly admitted that maybe she was right? But it was all a misunderstanding.."Fuck it," he thought. He left and swore some more when she was nowhere to be seen. He remembered the park they'd had a picnic at that was close by and ran with every ounce of strength he could muster. 4-5 minutes later he was in the dark park and was looking for any signs of life. He didn't have to look far. She was at the bench overlooking the duck pond. She was hunched over with her head in her hands and he felt the sadness she was keeping to herself.

Ray slowly walked over and gently put his hand on her shoulder. What they both didn't expect was when she violently shouldered him and if it had connected he could've said goodbye to his balls; and if his reflexes hadn't taken over, they both wouldn't have ended up in the duck pond. Syd was taken aback at the events that had happened. Blinded she was punching and flailing wildly at her "attacker" as she battled with the cold of the water all around them. She only calmed down when he said, "I've done it haven't I? I've hurt you."

She slowly opened her eyes and saw the man she loved, comically covered in pond water with what looked like tears in his eyes. She got choked up just looking at him. "Oh, Ray-Ray.."

He shivered, partly because of the cold and the other part being because of her nickname for him. Whenever she said it he could hear the love ebbing into the words and as cold as it was, he felt warm inside.

Syd had that look in her eyes and held up her arms. Ray laughed and said, "Fuck, don't gimme that look. You're adorable.." Whenever she did that, she wanted to be held and spoiled.

She knew she wasn't playing fair, but she wanted to be in his arms. With a grunt, Ray picked her up and she showered his face in kisses. "Can we go home please, Ray-Ray?"

She giggled when he grunted again and nuzzled into her neck. "Yes, babe." He put his foreheads to hers and exhaled. "I'm sorry. Let's go home."

Syd gratefully nodded and he bent down so she could shoulder her bag. He carried her and even though it took longer to get home, no one complained. They shed their clothes and ended up in his shower.

Giggles and purrs filled Ray's ears as he gently massaged the shampoo into his love's hair. She especially loved the intimacy of it all. The last guys she'd dated didn't want to even attempt to shower together so this was all new for her. And who better to experience it with than Ray? She loved him with her entire being. Just the thought of him being so close..

The thoughts she'd held at arm's length finally took over. A low growl escaped her lips and as they switched places for him to get his head under the water, she thrust her chest on his back and slinked her right hand up and down the front of his body until she reached his cock. His moans only made her even more excited and she was gently rubbing him to completion. The act alone was close to setting her off. With him being shampoo free, he turned to her and brought her lips up to his. She moaned in his mouth and started rubbing his cock on her lips and started to ease him inside her. Her moans became a gasp as he lifted her up and looked into her now wide eyes with hunger. He looked as if he'd devour her and she was more than excited for him to..She wanted him to take her right then and there. Ray slowly teased her, easing the tip of his cock in her and then slowly lifting her up and off him. Her moans turned into groans and eventually she was practically begging him for more.

"Baby, baby, pleeeaasseee!!"

He stopped mid-thrust and she let out another moan. She looked down and pouted in the most adorable way possible. Her eyes were lidded over and she was more than ready for him. "Babe?"

It looked like it didn't register, but she slowly responded, "Hmm? Yes?"

"Can I?"

That brought her back. "Oh God! Yes!! Please, baby, please!"

He grunted and brought her down on him. She came right then and there and she quivered with satisfaction. That was almost enough to set him off, but he grit his teeth and slowly thrust in and out of her. It wasn't that she was heavy, but it had been a few minutes and the act of holding her up as he thrust up into her was taking its toll on his arms. He quickly shut the water off and brought them up and out of the shower and into his room. He lowered her onto his bed and didn't give two shits if they were wet. He brought himself up and got between her legs and she was happy to oblige him. She eventually tired of it and asked, "Babe? Can I..get on top?"

Syd squealed as he immediately pivoted and got her up on him. She orgasmed again as the change in position got him even deeper in her. "God! I still don't know how you do that to me baby!"

She realized that he still had yet to cum and she was determined to ride him to completion. She slowly teased his other head and elongated the strokes. He was soon moaning beneath her and that only heightened her senses. It turned her on to be in control, and the fact that he was letting her go wild on him? God, he felt soooo goooodddd.

Try as Ray might, even he had his limits. "Babe? I-I don't think I can last much-"

Her eyes were fluttering and she only increased her gyrations as she knew her man was going to cum. He was going to let it all out inside her and she knew that she'd cum right then and there if he did. "It's okay, baby. I'm on the pill, let it allll out inside me. Please? Baby, please, I neeedddd it!"

He was primed and ready to fire, and with a groan, it felt like he exploded in her. As soon as she felt it, she came too and collapsed on him. She was nuzzling his neck as they were trying to let everything sink in.

They both said, "I love you." and slept with smiles on their faces. The lovers woke up a couple of hours later and were soon at it again. Two rounds later, they fell asleep once more. In the morning, they woke up with the room smelling tank and they laughed their way to the shower where they had another round of shower sex. Syd loved how he took her there. Ray loved how insatiable she was.

A week later, as they were laying in post-coital bliss, Ray broke the silence as Syd was nuzzling his neck.

"I'm glad I ran after you when you left that night."

With wide eyes, Syd propped herself on her elbow and listened quietly. "D'you hink you can tell me why you were so reluctant about this?"

Ray sighed. This was it. He knew he'd have to tell her. Fuck. He told her everything.

He told Syd the story about "her." The girl who broke his heart. He told her how back in his sophomore year, he'd gone out of his way to "her," who was a senior. It was the end of school and maybe 10-12 students were in the gym messing around. Some were playing basketball, the others were just hanging out. There was a projector at the top of the gym and it had faced a few beatings as balls and such would reach their way up there. Eventually it got loose and on that fateful day, he was walking in and everything just slowed down. Someone screamed and "she" was in the crash zone.

So, he zipped behind her, and pushed her aside and effectively saved her. They were inseparable after that. She was his first love. At least, he had thought so. He'd let her in and they shared more than his first time; they lasted longer than they thought they would. But, when it all came down to it, she fell prey to peer pressure. When confronted about them dating and him not being "popular," she laughed it off saying she was using him. She needed him to help her grades go up and there was no way that she'd lower herself to date a nerd like him.

Little did she know that he was walking from the bathroom where she and her friends were at during class. The look on her face was comical as she realized what she'd done. What made things worse was that as soon as her friends saw him, they laughed at him and made him a laughingstock. She joined in. The day after, she'd tried to make amends but he wouldn't have it. If she shit-talked him behind his back, what else had she done? What else was she capable of doing in the name of keeping up her image? He knew better. So, he broke it off with her. After that, it was many failed attempts at having relationships until he finally gave up after graduating. He dedicated himself to his family and work.