by WadeWilson88
Great story idea, horrible grammar, spelling, pacing.
Voted a 1 to offset asswipe cock-sucking tranny vastiesmith2 AKA bonnietaylor2's vote.
You definitely need to work on grammar. You had written a lot of sentence fragments. You also might want to pace your story better. It seems to jump all over the place.
not bad, but terrible place to stop the story. It does need some work in the grammar and word usage areas.
Fuck off! The grammar wasn't the best, but I have seen much, much worse here. We are not on this site to read Wuthering Heights. As if you could do better. 5 to offset this asswipe.