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All Comments on 'Logan's Raine Ch. 02'
by Reinadeloslobos
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- 4 Comments
Anonymousover 13 years agoGood but you should sort out your conversations with breakes and punctuation
it's too hard to follow otherwise and sounds odd. Speech marks and new lines for different people would make sections like the phone conversation far more understandable
Anonymousover 13 years agoCould be better ... could be worse...
Your first chapter was a great start, but in this chapter, your grammar and punctuation was really off.
You need more line breaks and to be a lot more careful with your punctuation, I recommend getting an editor to help.
Your story could really be great if you work on the aforementioned issues. Good luck!
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